Wandering
I was wandering through the streets of Cairo
My hand was holding an old Visa from Egypt
Stamped and signed somewhere in the 80’s…
It’s so difficult to photograph today
But what choice do I have?
Sweating through my clothes just sitting
The food I ate just to not to disappoint some locals isn’t helping either
Photography is my secret window
A private conversation
An inner dialogue from me to my other self that just won’t stop talking
Every secret window a new chapter
Countless of windows that open up and close again when the time has come
And this specific chapter has come to an end
Ready for the next one…
Maybe I am lying to myself
Maybe I am not
Maybe it is just all I have to turn my imagination to truth
I was wandering through the streets of Cairo
And all I was thinking was: “I need one photograph”
A cat came up to my leg to say hi
I heard a purr…
But in my mind I was exactly where I needed to be
Alone
Complete and by myself
Well maybe not complete because I am still missing my other half
I sat down to give my tired feet some rest
Suddenly A little girl came up to me
Speaking to me in a language I didn’t understand
She could have not been older than six
Or maybe she was eight
I don’t know…
She reminded me of a vision or a dream I sometimes have that I want to have a daughter and I want to be the best father in the world
One day I will be…
On her arm there were some beautiful necklaces ready to be sold
In the sweetest possible way I tried to say: “No”
And after a big smile she understood and walked away a bit sad…
A bench beside me there were some locals
Looking all ready to go out because it was a Friday evening
I asked: Is she yours?
One of the women replied to me
The same way I replied to the little girl
I received a gentle smile, a shaking head from left to right, and a no
My secret window was closing
At least for the days I was here…
Or maybe just for today
I needed a photograph
Just. One. Photograph.
I felt frustrated and angry
“Cris you can do this” I told myself
Normally I would haven taken fourteen portraits
And petted about seventeen stray cats
What is wrong with me?
It is not that I wanted to give up
Because I never do
I believe in Soulmates
In destiny
In fate…
And this journey has become a part of my fate as well
It must have been the food poisoning
Should have said no to the food
Push through Cris, Push through… Push through…
I walked and I walked…
And suddenly you feel it
That same feeling you have when you close the window because there is a storm outside
And a gust of wind blows in your face right before you hear that loud clank when the window shuts
ZuZu and Habiba
My saviors
Sweet Arabian angels that came from the heavens
Taking selfies at just the right time
Saying hello just to make sure I got guided in the right direction
Without them I was lost
Without them at this point in time my art was lost…
My secret Window opened up again
And despite I didn’t knew if I could use this photograph at all
It was all I needed to get things moving
My spiritual wind was blowing until the last day I was able to shoot
I needed to capture that feeling
That one feeling
I did
One photograph to accompany that Visa from the 80’s…
Guilty
In my final hours in Cairo I went searching for that one little girl
I felt so guilty for saying no
Searching… In a city of twenty million
I would rather spend my last Egyptian pounds on souvenirs that I could buy from her than all the scammers on the market in the old part of the city
“You have a nice beard sir, you look like an Arab”
Words spoken to me in a persuasive way that would hypnotize any first time traveler
If they only knew… They wouldn’t even try…
My secret window was closing again…
I searched and I searched the streets until my feet got tired but with no luck
My last Hail Mary was to find the same bench I encountered her before
I felt some wind blowing…
And hoped it was a sign
As I rested my feet on that exact same bench there was no one there to be found…
It was a reminder to me that the universe sometimes says no
The “No” came out and with a sweet and gentle smile in the form of a cat sitting next to me…
A purr came out…
From me
As well as the cat
I guess some secret windows
Are just never meant to have some wind blowing through it…
~ My Egyptian secret window...
