“Like home…”
she could have easily wear her ugliest clothes
filed with holes
and read the dictionary to me
She would still be the most beautiful woman in the world
I just love to hear her voice
her voice as she stumbled over a word
would caress my face
and ears nonetheless
like a warm hug with her arms tightly wrapped around me
the feeling of a heartbeat
a delicious coffee
vibrant,
like home
“When I see you again…”
As I lie in my bed, my heart and mind are fighting an endless battle with my soul. I find solace in listening to a song that I suddenly started humming in the shower.
It’s hard not to get lost in a maze of words friends say, but are of those only lovers speak. Until you see a shooting star and all I could wish for was you.
Your laughter and pain is tugging at me. My end of the thread feels full of tension. And when you cry, I cry. It’s a comforting thought that your cookies are safe, and I hid the ones that belong to all the meanies.
In this moment of sleep I will transcend distance and time and we will tell mesmerizing stories from when we were young. Or hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Whichever comes first… Dreams that act like a road full of autumn leaves that only we can walk.
The morning starts with a cup of coffee that will be drank in the company of birds. A pigeon says hello while my last sip reminds me of the footprints you left in my soul. I will give you flowers when I see you again. I hope you think they are beautiful.
“Every grey hair…”
and I would worship
every grey hair
and every curl
every tear
and every wrinkle
with mad passionate love
even on the days
you wear your hair straight
“I started writing you this letter in autumn…”
pillow corner in my right hand
knowing
that as soon as I would wake up
it was just a dream
left hand that rubs my eyes
got up
and filled up a glass with water
as soon as the water touched my lips
remembering the moment I was kissing yours
in my dreams
immediately knowing
I wanted them to be there
for the last remaining years of my life
during my morning coffee I whispered
your name in the wind
and asked you
but what if we are wrong, about who we really are
because sometimes I feel
like an old page of an old book
broken
ripped in half
and some smudges of ink
on the bottom right corner
and you
a flower
that blooms
every day with courage
but even more magical
in the moonlight
on a dreamy autumn night
and a scar on your left ankle
it reminds me that
daydreaming
is sometimes all I need
to have a beautiful day
To feel, forget, and feel
I forgot you are the moon
A dandelion sings
- A beautiful suffering
Full of frustration I took a long shower
My worries rinsed down the drain
Every word that my mind told me
disappeared
Like rain
Rain filled with autumn leaves
My worries were so beautiful...
There was a storm brewing outside and some of it's soul crept through my shower window
I could smell the cigarettes and smoke from my neighbor below
I want to dance
I want to cry
I want to hold you
I want to fuck
Those were the last loud words that left my lonely mind...
We are the same my love
You should be here in my arms...
After all the rage was gone
No...
No, was what surfaced
It was making love
Those were the words I was looking for
There is a saying
That if you let go of something you love
And it returns
It is truly yours
So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you
Dying
It felt like dying
A tear flowed slowly down my cheek but it might as well have been a river
A river...
So I swam up that river just because I was curious where my body would end up
Chambers in my heart filled with photographs of your beautiful face permanently attached to the wrinkled structure of the battered and bruised walls
Tore it all down because I could not cope anymore
But tripped and fell and noticed a broken frame that ended up on the ground
Your eyes stood out to me
Those god damn beautiful eyes of yours
I could drown in them forever
Giving up is something that is not normal for me but I was tired
Legs...
Arms...
Even my toes and fingers couldn’t make the right movements anymore
Drowning
My lifeless body was swept away by the strength of the current and drifted
It drifted miles and miles and miles...
Until my dead body ended up somewhere lost at sea
Nowhere to be found
The oceans were humongous anyway...
I woke up this morning
With a sense that there were still a thousand miles between us
A kiss on your lips when I opened up my eyes is what I longed for
Dying
It felt like dying every aching minute we are still apart
I took a long shower
In the hope to rinse my worries down the drain
The bitterness of my morning coffee as well as the bitterness of my heart made me go for a walk
Only to find you there
Slowly you and I moved closer to each other
We have done this before
We are the same my love...
I cannot let you go
You asked me if I was real
How could I be real...
So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you
And kissed you until you smiled...