"Like home..."

“Like home…”

she could have easily wear her ugliest clothes
filed with holes
and read the dictionary to me

She would still be the most beautiful woman in the world

I just love to hear her voice
her voice as she stumbled over a word
would caress my face
and ears nonetheless

like a warm hug with her arms tightly wrapped around me

the feeling of a heartbeat
a delicious coffee

vibrant,
like home

“When I see you again…”

“When I see you again…”

As I lie in my bed, my heart and mind are fighting an endless battle with my soul. I find solace in listening to a song that I suddenly started humming in the shower.

It’s hard not to get lost in a maze of words friends say, but are of those only lovers speak. Until you see a shooting star and all I could wish for was you.

Your laughter and pain is tugging at me. My end of the thread feels full of tension. And when you cry, I cry. It’s a comforting thought that your cookies are safe, and I hid the ones that belong to all the meanies.

In this moment of sleep I will transcend distance and time and we will tell mesmerizing stories from when we were young. Or hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Whichever comes first… Dreams that act like a road full of autumn leaves that only we can walk.

The morning starts with a cup of coffee that will be drank in the company of birds. A pigeon says hello while my last sip reminds me of the footprints you left in my soul. I will give you flowers when I see you again. I hope you think they are beautiful.

Every grey hair...

“Every grey hair…”

and I would worship

every grey hair

and every curl

every tear

and every wrinkle

with mad passionate love

even on the days

you wear your hair straight

I started writing you this letter in autumn...

“I started writing you this letter in autumn…”

pillow corner in my right hand

knowing

that as soon as I would wake up

it was just a dream

left hand that rubs my eyes

got up

and filled up a glass with water

as soon as the water touched my lips

remembering the moment I was kissing yours

in my dreams

immediately knowing

I wanted them to be there

for the last remaining years of my life

during my morning coffee I whispered

your name in the wind

and asked you

but what if we are wrong, about who we really are

because sometimes I feel

like an old page of an old book

broken

ripped in half

and some smudges of ink

on the bottom right corner

and you

a flower

that blooms

every day with courage

but even more magical

in the moonlight

on a dreamy autumn night

and a scar on your left ankle

it reminds me that

daydreaming

is sometimes all I need

to have a beautiful day

A dandelion sings

To feel, forget, and feel

I forgot you are the moon

A dandelion sings

A beautiful suffering...

- A beautiful suffering

Full of frustration I took a long shower

My worries rinsed down the drain

Every word that my mind told me

disappeared

Like rain

Rain filled with autumn leaves

My worries were so beautiful...

There was a storm brewing outside and some of it's soul crept through my shower window

I could smell the cigarettes and smoke from my neighbor below

I want to dance

I want to cry

I want to hold you

I want to fuck

Those were the last loud words that left my lonely mind...

We are the same my love

You should be here in my arms...

After all the rage was gone

No...

No, was what surfaced

It was making love

Those were the words I was looking for

There is a saying

That if you let go of something you love

And it returns

It is truly yours

So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you

Dying

It felt like dying

A tear flowed slowly down my cheek but it might as well have been a river

A river...

So I swam up that river just because I was curious where my body would end up

Chambers in my heart filled with photographs of your beautiful face permanently attached to the wrinkled structure of the battered and bruised walls

Tore it all down because I could not cope anymore

But tripped and fell and noticed a broken frame that ended up on the ground

Your eyes stood out to me

Those god damn beautiful eyes of yours

I could drown in them forever

Giving up is something that is not normal for me but I was tired

Legs...

Arms...

Even my toes and fingers couldn’t make the right movements anymore

Drowning

My lifeless body was swept away by the strength of the current and drifted

It drifted miles and miles and miles...

Until my dead body ended up somewhere lost at sea

Nowhere to be found

The oceans were humongous anyway...

I woke up this morning

With a sense that there were still a thousand miles between us

A kiss on your lips when I opened up my eyes is what I longed for

Dying

It felt like dying every aching minute we are still apart

I took a long shower

In the hope to rinse my worries down the drain

The bitterness of my morning coffee as well as the bitterness of my heart made me go for a walk

Only to find you there

Slowly you and I moved closer to each other

We have done this before

We are the same my love...

I cannot let you go

You asked me if I was real

How could I be real...

So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you

And kissed you until you smiled...