“A beautiful suffering”
Full of frustration I took a long shower
My worries rinsed down the drain
Every word that my mind told me
disappeared
Like rainRain filled with autumn leaves
My worries were so beautiful...
There was a storm brewing outside and some of it's soul crept through my shower window
I could smell the cigarettes and smoke from my neighbor below
I want to dance
I want to cry
I want to hold you
I want to fuck
Those were the last loud words that left my lonely mind...We are the same my love
You should be here in my arms...
After all the rage was goneNo...
No, was what surfaced
It was making love
Those were the words I was looking for
There is a saying
That if you let go of something you love
And it returns
It is truly yours
So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you
Dying
It felt like dying
A tear flowed slowly down my cheek but it might as well have been a river
A river...
So I swam up that river just because I was curious where my body would end up
Chambers in my heart filled with photographs of your beautiful face permanently attached to the wrinkled structure of the battered and bruised walls
Tore it all down because I could not cope anymore
But tripped and fell and noticed a broken frame that ended up on the ground
Your eyes stood out to me
Those god damn beautiful eyes of yours
I could drown in them forever
Giving up is something that is not normal for me but I was tired
Legs...
Arms...
Even my toes and fingers couldn’t make the right movements anymore
Drowning
My lifeless body was swept away by the strength of the current and drifted
It drifted miles and miles and miles...
Until my dead body ended up somewhere lost at sea
Nowhere to be found
The oceans were humongous anyway...
I woke up this morning
With a sense that there were still a thousand miles between us
A kiss on your lips when I opened up my eyes is what I longed for
Dying
It felt like dying every aching minute we are still apart
I took a long shower
In the hope to rinse my worries down the drain
The bitterness of my morning coffee as well as the bitterness of my heart made me go for a walk
Only to find you there
Slowly you and I moved closer to each other
We have done this before
We are the same my love...
I cannot let you go
You asked me if I was real
How could I be real...
So I grabbed your bracelet just to tease you and gave it back to you
And kissed you until you smiled...