2022 - 2024
In the midst of my own thoughts, I often find myself lost.
"I started writing you this letter in autumn..." is a visual poem that was born from one of Cristian's many inner dialogues, and it was photographed accordingly. The poem wanders as an aimless arrow through themes of connection and recognition, with love serving as the underlying thread. It also delves into the meaning of love on a larger scale.
All of the photographs in this project were developed and printed using traditional gelatin silver processes, as well as a variety of toning and staining techniques. Some are accompanied by written words as well.
This project will be a living, breathing piece of art, with more pieces being added and removed over time until it is complete. Everything in it will serve a purpose and have meaning, from the size and placement of the photos to the coffee and tea stains. It will be connected, meant to be experienced as a letter--the kind of letter you might write to someone you love, or to yourself.
“I started writing you this letter in autumn…”
pillow corner in my right hand
knowing
that as soon as I would wake up
it was just a dream
left hand that rubs my eyes
got up
and filled up a glass with water
as soon as the water touched my lips
remembering the moment I was kissing yours
in my dreams
immediately knowing
I wanted them to be there
for the last remaining years of my life
during my morning coffee I whispered
your name in the wind
and asked you
but what if we are wrong, about who we really are
because sometimes I feel
like an old page of an old book
broken
ripped in half
and some smudges of ink
on the bottom right corner
and you
a flower
that blooms
every day with courage
but even more magical
in the moonlight
on a dreamy autumn night
and a scar on your left ankle
it reminds me that
daydreaming
is sometimes all I need
to have a beautiful day
"A dandelion sings..."
To feel, forget, and feel
I forgot you are the moon
A dandelion sings
“When I see you again…”
As I lie in my bed, my heart and mind are fighting an endless battle with my soul. I find solace in listening to a song that I suddenly started humming in the shower.
It’s hard not to get lost in a maze of words friends say, but are of those only lovers speak. Until you see a shooting star and all I could wish for was you.
Your laughter and pain is tugging at me. My end of the thread feels full of tension. And when you cry, I cry. It’s a comforting thought that your cookies are safe, and I hid the ones that belong to all the meanies.
In this moment of sleep I will transcend distance and time and we will tell mesmerizing stories from when we were young. Or hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Whichever comes first… Dreams that act like a road full of autumn leaves that only we can walk.
The morning starts with a cup of coffee that will be drank in the company of birds. A pigeon says hello while my last sip reminds me of the footprints you left in my soul. I will give you flowers when I see you again. I hope you think they are beautiful.
“Every grey hair…”
and I would worship
every grey hair
and every curl
every tear
and every wrinkle
with mad passionate love
even on the days
you wear your hair straight
