Happy to show a work print of new work I have been slowly but steadily creating.
In spring I entertained the idea in my head that I wanted to work in a different way and have more freedom. Self imposed rules that were only applied forcefully in my own head made me feel so restrained. I wanted go get out of that. So I started learning another process.
Platinum / Palladium it became. Saved up some money and an endless amount of patience. I build my own exposure unit. Gathered books and supplies. Even a brush from Japan.
Definitely not abandoning the silver process because I still love that. But everything has its time and place. No more self imposed restrictions of tools or process. The Dutch greyness we have this time of year also comes in handy. Who would have known…
The entirety of the project/ series will become more clear later.
Fine Art Photography
The Hand Magazine issue 43
Happy to see my work in The Hand Magazine Issue 43. Not only that, but I have the cover as well! The back cover nonetheless. But a cover is a cover. I’ll take it, and I am proud of it. And it definitely makes me happy.
The Hand Magazine is a magazine the focuses on print based art. Very interesting to see all of the processes of all the artists as well.
After the news broke I have gotten so many sweet messages that the Swan is their favourite photograph. And that definitely made my day.
Thanks for The Hand Magazine for having me. And thanks everyone for the messages.
~Cristian
Small print(s)...
Sometimes I like to make my silver gelatin prints big. And sometimes I want like to make them as little love notes that you can hide in someone’s pocket and look like they are made from the page of an old book. It is what it is…
Istanbul - Me, my camera, and sometimes a pen...
only me
my camera
and sometimes a pen
time flies by too fast
and I am too slow...
will I ever have enough time?
I do my best...
it doesn't matter what I say
or do
I have no control
tijd om lost te laten
or hold on
it feels like sand
I called home
niemand thuis
sometimes it seems
that the people in the street
can read my mind
they look
they stare
they are like sculptures of what my heart feels
I sometimes say I never believed
but somehow
yet
from the beginning
I always did
I'm tired
Someone else falls asleep
another phone
should I pick up?
I see a tree
the sky turns bright
daglicht
a flock of birds
I wish they were
something else
time to go home...
Istanbul. May, 2023.
My grandfather was an alcoholic...
My grandfather was an alcoholic… He was also a sailor, and it was at sea where he developed this condition. What else is there to do than to drink fortified wine and talk to the fishes in the darkest moment of the night. We used to hide the booze when he came over in case he might drink it all…
I loved him dearly though… He was along with my other grandfather, a super hero.
He was big and strong. Had tattoos all over his body. And around his neck there was a tooth of a shark that he caught somewhere along one of the eastern African coasts. It must have been the Red Sea or the Gulf of Aden, because I found papers of my dad passing through the Suez canal, who was on that very same boat.
After me and my family had to leave our house because we had to run for our stepfather because he did something so horrendous we just had to leave. It was at my grandfather it was where I stayed the longest. My sisters went in one direction, my mother and I in the other.
We left everything… And took nothing more than the most important things. Clothes, some little memorabilia, my bicycle made it. My uncles helped us out moving things as quickly as possible.
I don’t know how many places we stayed until we finally had a house again. But it was weird, and I was still relatively young. We stayed at my uncle’s for while. But when I finally stayed at my grandparents I could sleep at the place where I always slept when there was a sleepover.
Read the comic books of the Red Knight, and daydreaming away when I was playing at the attic. I loved daydreaming… I still love it so much… I could create imaginary worlds out of nothing. He also had one book that was about boats, and when I opened up the hardcover it was full of mythical sea creatures that fisherman saw when they roamed the world seas…
One day we got into an argument. I just wanted to draw on the dining table. But my grandfather was grumpy and I didn’t do what he wanted. He was always grumpy… I don’t know if it was because of the bottle, his tough sailor nature, or it was because I was invading his space… Could even be all of the above…
It was not a good time for all of us… My grandparents didn’t have much money either, and since he stopped going to sea because he was to old, they were at that time living on their pension check. Yet they kept us around because there simply was no other place to go. It was there or the streets…
He did tell me plenty of bedtime stories though… About his adventures… When he was still at sea. He went everywhere… If I could only see those places he saw… He was my real life Indiana Jones…
He was also an amazing artist… He knew how to draw… And every time I asked him to draw a monster or a dragon, or whatever… He drew it! I didn’t know anything about art back then. But at those moments he was like van Gogh or Vermeer. It was the most magical thing I have ever seen…
My daydreaming was on overdrive! What if I was on a boat!? And if I could find those creatures! How amazing could this be! Or a knight! Yes, I want to be a knight…
I don’t have that book anymore… Or one of his drawings… It would have been amazing though. But there is not much left of my childhood anyway. I do have his old sea maps, which I keep in a safe place to create something beautiful out of them one day.
We had to leave a lot of family photo albums behind anyway… And whatever happened to the rest… No one knows… It eventually became one of the many reasons why I believe printing is so important.
He taught me other valuable lessons as well. Like hard work, never giving up. And another one, was being inventive. He had a knack for making things just work. Because when there's no money, you have to. There is no quit. It is either go, or not having anything. That became very relevant for us later in life.
My grandparents said goodbye to us when we finally got a house. It was in the worst neighbourhood you could imagine. It was a small apartment on the 4th floor. I had my own bedroom, but my sisters had to share one. All of our furniture came from the thrift shop. And our first television we had was not much in comparison to what we had before we had to leave everything. But we had a VHS of the moon landing, and that was all I needed to provoke my daydreaming and creativity.
My mom made money cleaning houses on a holiday resort for tourists. That was definitely not enough to raise 3 kids on her own. And it explained why my piggy bank miraculously sometimes was empty and full again. Only to know that if that didn’t happen there literally wouldn’t be any food.
I didn’t know how we survived that time. Shootings, stabbings, and junkies in the basement. My sisters and I dropping water bombs from the balcony on drugs dealers because we thought it was funny. Little did we know. They laughed, sometimes looked puzzled, we laughed as well.
After school I would visit grandpa. He would give me advice about bullies, and taught me how to ride a moped. And taught me self-defence. And somehow there were always meatballs involved…
I told him once… That I wanted to be the strongest in the world, like He-Man! He used to draw me He-Man as well, and he and my uncle made me a He-Man sword once.
“Grandpa, I want to be so strong! So so strong… I want to be so strong so I can protect every one that I care about, so they never have to be afraid again! I hate this life… Why are we poor? I never want to live like this again… And when I get kids one day… I will do everything in my power to give them the life I have never had… I just want to escape…”
I don’t know about other kids my age back than. But it sure wasn’t healthy… They must have been obsessed with Flippo’s or other stuff. He gave me some candy and I could look at his boats. He started making wooden boats again. He wasn’t very good anymore because of his old age. But he put his heart and soul into it.
Beside his boats was his desk… And on that desk was an old tube radio with glowing bulbs that would crackle and pop when you turned it on. He would sit in his chair and looking for reception. And when he found a radio station he could sit in his chair and just listen.
He missed the sea… I could tell…
My girlfriend at that time thought it was silly that I wanted to visit him. Friday evenings… Just being there… Enjoying his company… We got into an argument one time before we stepped out of the car when we were parked in front of the door. She didn’t want to go, but I did. I explained that I just feel he doesn’t have much time on this earth left. I can’t remember if she eventually joined me or not, but I went inside… It was the right decision.
Not that long ago he was diagnosed with cancer. Same as my dad, same as my other grandfather… Same same same same same…
I saw the once mighty ship captain with tattoos on his chest, shark tooth necklace wearing, Indiana Jones stories telling, crumble… Crying that he couldn’t walk to the toilet anymore… Afraid. Afraid of death…
He died… And on his funeral I carried his coffin to hive grave… I never cried. I wish I did…
But I picked up where you left off… I became literally one of the strongest, as I said I would. I became my own Indiana Jones… All of that because of your lessons and you as my as one of my two amazing grandfather inspirations. I made myself a good life…
Sometimes it feels that I have to excuse myself that I came this far and feel guilty. I shouldn’t… I know my heart is pure, and my intentions are good. It goes a bit easier now at a later age…
When a place feels like an escape… It always has bad memories. People can be an escape, but also places… Olympic Weightlifting was that escape for me. A way to get away from it all. My exit… And later in life sometimes you just have to flip back the pages a bit just to remember how it was.
I flipped… and I flipped and read every previous chapter. Because I was almost afraid photography was an escape as well… But luckily I realized it isn’t… I just love it. Same as when I was making music, or writing poems… A way to express myself. All my pain but also happiness… I want to make my daydreams a reality…
It is all a bonus though…
Because I don’t have to, but I want to. That is a big difference. It gives me peace of mind… That life I talked about I created it out of nothing… It is real, and it is here… I created my safety net for when the time comes I indeed can take care of my loved ones. And now I am making art with my own mythical creatures. They maybe are not mythical sea creatures… But birds and deer do the trick.
My grandfather was amazing… He was an artist, a strong man, a ship captain. Husband of my gorgeous grandmother… A teacher. An Old Spice wearing scoundrel but in a good way. A knight, and an adventurer.
A inspiration…
And most of all… He was my friend.
And if somehow you can read this… Henk, I fucking love you…
A colour blinds man attempt to colour photography...
A colour blinds man attempt to colour photography...
Last weekend we had beautiful winter landscapes in the Netherlands. And for me, as a colour blind dude, it even looked gorgeous.
I met up with other Chris and he had the idea to rise extra early and go deep into one of our nature reserves close by where we live.
Before I left I noticed a 120 roll of colour film lying around and decided to take it. The roll I bought actually for a totally different purpose. But more on that later…
My eyes can’t see colour. Well at least not properly. It is not that I see black and white, but I have no idea what I am looking at when I go out in the world. It is one big enigma to me… Every test that I do says that I have a different kind of colour blindness. So let’s just say it is just weird. Despite that, my favourite colour is red. I think…
So this is the result of my playing with colour on a early morning.
See it as a Christmas present for people who are curious what happens.
P.S. Before you comment on this post with remarks like: “You should shoot colour more often“, or anything similar… I appreciate it if you don’t. Those kind of remarks make me highly uncomfortable. Photography for me is about expressing myself, and how harsh it sounds I don’t press the shutter button and print for someone else. I do it because I love it and for me. That I have an audience is a wonderful bonus. :)
Even if I could see colour I believe that colour is highly overrated if you don’t know what you are doing and achieving with certain palettes.
From a functional standpoint. Colour correcting or matching socks is not something that I will ever achieve in life. :)
Colour has a very limited place in my life, and I just look at the world differently than most people. And yes, sometimes a tear is shed that I never ever will be able to do certain things in life or see certain things.
My eyes were sore from staring too much into the sun
My eyes were sore from staring too much into the sun
I rubbed them with the hope it would get better
It did something though...
08:00 AM
Listening to some records to wake up in the most relaxing way
My hand grabbed yours
We danced a slow dance in the living room
To one of your favourite songs
I never told you it was one of mine as well...
Your head on my shoulder
as we turned I placed a kiss in your neck
A couple of steps left before the end of the song
my eyes slowly started to feel better
08:05...
Back among the trees
I will always remember us
Your dance was like a stroke of life
I just wish I would find you here
Seen by CLAIRbyKahn
Hey everyone,
Sometimes in your life something amazing happens. And let this be one of those amazing things...
I can happily announce that I have become part of Seen by Kahn by CLAIRbyKahn.
If you know the CLAIRbyKahn gallery you know how excited I got when I received an e-mail one morning from the director while I was just finishing up one of my morning workouts. I just had to do a little dance in the living room and texted my closest friends immediately.
When I first started out with photography I was daydreaming about the photographs of Eikoh Hosoe, Lartigue, and Klavdij Sluban. And all of a sudden someone who actually works with them contacts you. Not only that: That also understands the magic of printing!
Thank you so much for finding me Anna-Patricia, and wanting to guide and coach me. You have no idea how happy I am about this. :)
And thank you Eelco en Thana and Chris for always being there for me and putting up with me when I am bitching and moaning that feel nothing is working out at all. You the best. Dennis as well of course.
People who give you a chance or are just there for you are a gem and they should be cherished.
I will have a celebration beer this weekend. :)
Lith printing.
If you have been following my stories a bit you've seen that I've been experimenting with alternative processes instead of my regular process. The reason is just to have a bigger pallet of skills in my regular practice. It's something I've learned from being an athlete. Broaden hour horizon, and you will have more insights in your main thing. :)
So in this case I've been figuring out the process called Lith printing. If you are a fan of i.e. Anton Corbijn there was a phase that his printer used the lith technique as well.
As you can see there is a heavy color to mine and to his are none. But that depends on so many variables as well as paper used. And the paper I used here was fomatone since it is easily available and liths very well. There are not many papers available nowadays that lith very well, so it seemed like a logical choice.
Anyways to make a long story short. Printing is amazing and I just wanted to share an experiment. :)
Thanks @hetfotovakhuishaarlem for the scan and @contrastique for helping out with the negative. And @captain.forkbeerd for being a the bearded day dreamer.
Dante 2021
Hey everyone,
Some of you may have seen it on social media but I totally forgot to update my blog/news page. But I will be part of the upcoming book about Dante Alighieri! That is so coooooool!
Not only I am a hopeless romantic that made me day dream all day about the Devine Comedy, but the one of my first inspirations ever in the visual arts are the Illustrations by Gustave Doré.
He made an huge impact on me and I like to believe that sometimes that is visible in some of my photographs.
Below is a statement about the news of the book and you can find more info on this link.
The Dante 2021 project, conceived by dotART together with the Municipality of San Daniele del Friuli, will involve Italian and foreign photographers in a collective tribute to Dante Alighieri on the occasion of the 700th anniversary of his death. The photographic volume will boast an introduction by Piero Boitani, Emeritus Professor of Comparative Literature at Sapienza University of Rome. Professor Angelo Floramo, scientific consultant of the Guarneriana Library of San Daniele del Friuli, will supervise the book.
So that is some great news! If I have more information about it I of course will share it.
~ Cristian
Remembering my grandfather...
Still working on my Myanmar project…
It was a nice sunny autumn day in the Netherlands. Still working on my Myanmar project.
I needed a break…
I have been working non-stop only to realize I need to re-do a lot of stuff (at the early morning of writing this). But at least the editing process went well. So that is a plus.
So last Saturday for my break time I decided to take a walk. I am lucky enough that I am surrounded by plenty of nature in the area where I live. So that is perfect to ground myself a bit.
Earthing…
It’s a crude translation of the Dutch word “aarden“ but it get’s to point across. It is good to be one with nature. Gives you peace of mind and replenishes your energy.
So I did some earthing and brought my grandfathers old carry-around. A roll of Fuji Superia X-tra 400 to see if it was still functional. And the relaxation could begin.
I got a text from beautiful friend…
Made me smile…
I replied with a photograph of the area I was surrounded in…
Life is good…
Henk…
My grandfathers name was Henk. He was an amazing man but also a old and grumpy sailor. He was like a real life Indiana Jones back in the day. Oooooooh the stories he had..
Luckily I have the genes of both of my grandfathers and both of them were amazing and also amazing adventurers. And I am lucky I learned so much from them.
And it was an honor to carry his coffin to his grave.
So why write this…?
Don’t expect any artwork. I think it is always good to share things. And maybe it gives a glimpse in what photographers do in their free time. Also sharing my passion for analog film.
Plus I love to write…
So here are some snapshots I took with my grandfathers old Fuji-DL15.
Now back to work…
~ Cristian
Andante - Portrait series of the soul. No 2. - Reham
Andante…
Or in other words… Slow…
A musical term that means slow. And also the name of my portrait series.
I found it on the cover of an vinyl LP record I inherited from my father and the music on it was exactly how I felt. And even represents a side of me. Of course I have a happy side. But my other one is full of romance, love, sadness and melancholy. I embraced it and love it very much.
The name: Symphonie Espagnole, Op. 21 IV. Andante.
I wrote about it in an earlier blog post which you can find here.
Time…
For me it represents time… When you are doing something you like or love and are having a good time it flies by, and when you are going through hardship or have to wait for something it goes as slow as it can be. But time is only to spend once…
That’s why it is so valuable.
Reham…
This portrait series I just want to do by gut feeling. And that is how I choose the person I ask to photograph. I was thinking for a long time about whom I could make my second part of the series with. Than at one moment, I woke up in the morning I was thinking about Reham. I knew I wanted to photograph her for a long time but the puzzle pieces never connected until now.
Reham is a beautiful young soul of Palestinian descent that was born in Syria as a refugee but was unable to reuturn home. From Syria she went to Dubai, Lebanon, Egypt, and Turkey, before eventually ending up here in the Netherlands. Now studying computer science at one of the best universities of our country.
She is one smart cookie.
I’ve met her during a diner named “Diner voor gelukzoekers“ (Diner for fortune seekers) a couple of years a go hosted by Roos. The woman in the first version of this series. Everything is connected.
My process….
So how does that translate to my photography? Well… As you can see in the first one. It is full of people passing by as souls. And in this one… Trying to capture it. This through a medium of analog film instead of digital. A slower process of manual focusing and metering and developing it myself. Also, during that slowness I wanted to capture more…
I wanted to capture her power!
Her heart.
And eventually her soul…
A young powerful woman that is youthful and experienced at the same time. So after a couple of hours wandering through her hometown I think we succeeded. And during the editing process I ended up with four frames which I thought that would show everything perfectly.
What EI I shot it at or which film I used is not important. Except maybe that I always use Ilford for everything. With some exceptions of course. Other than that giving someone a safe space to open up is way more important.
The rest is not only film chemistry, but chemistry between you and the soul you are photographing.
So hereby…
So hereby. My second part of Andante - Portrait series of the soul.
- Cristian
A quick date with Kodak Tri-X.
Leftover rolls…
I thought it was a good idea to write more about some of my processes. And especially when I shoot something different than regular. Of course I would rather give you constant travel and adventure updates. But unlike the internet likes you to believe, real life is not always like that.
I shoot both digital and analog. But all of the experimenting you can do with film is just so much fun! Of course when I shoot with film I have my preferences. I just love Ilford and particular HP5+ 400. For me it is the perfect film. But sometimes I just have to try out new stuff.
And in that case, old stuff. Because when I was cleaning up my fridge I found out that I had two rolls of Kodak Tri-X 400 left.
Good excuse to go out and shoot.
Sidenote: I noticed afterwards that I even had some more. But those are expired. I will safe all the expired film for a later fun thing when I have plenty of time to spend.
Just doing random stuff…
I had no particular plan or anything. I just went out and shoot. First roll of Tri-X 400 on EI 1600 and than pushed two stops with developing. Same as I actually always do with my film. And the other one on box speed so I could screw around with long exposures.
The thing is. You do have to develop twice in that case. So don’t plan it when you are in a hurry and you want to see your results quickly. You can’t dump them in the same tank.
The first one which I have shot wasn’t all that different from every other film you eventually push two stops. So that was just walking around Amsterdam, Haarlem, and Utrecht and having fun.
For the second one I have brought along my tripod. I was trying to experiment with long exposures and multiple exposures at the same time.
The long exposures as a single shots turned out well. There was nothing wrong with those. But when you combine them with multiple exposures you miss the definition in the people. You only can get them when you are really quick with the “please don’t advance the film“ lever I think. I guess that is the whole reason why Titarenko was so good. Making good long exposures with people in it are just goddamn hard.
Technical details…
As far as the technical details of the developing process. I have used Ilford DD-X developer, Ilfostop, and Ilford Rapid Fixer. All of them on 20 degrees Celsius. So nothing fancy actually.
Deja Vu…
No philosophical message this time. Except for maybe just have fun and try new stuff… But what I did remembered is why I don’t like Tri-X! And that is it is curly as hell! And the film also damages quite easy I think. And it is not that I am a ruffian with the medium.
No dust magnet though. So that is a plus…
On aesthetics. I think that is just a matter of taste. I just like the way Ilford looks more. It is more me… Although Tri-X also has that classic look that all of the legends had. Sometimes you get that whole Garry Winogrand or Bruce Gilden vibe.
Speaking of legends!
What I always get reminded about how much shooting analog differs from digital. Especially mirror-less… You get instant feedback how your image looks. Particularly with those electronic viewfinder… Oh boy. I get why people like it. And than to think of it what kind of amazing work all of my heroes produced with all of the equipment from that age.
No auto focus…
No electronic viewfinder…
No feedback…
I mean, you have to visualize the entire image. And your feedback how it looks can take from hours to days. No fancy gadget makes you a better photographer. But it sure makes life easier.
But I digress!
Like always!
My damn monkey mind…
Not the longest post this time. But in the end it is just about sharing work and words, and hopefully that it reaches someones heart somehow.
Have a good one….
- Cristian
Make A Wish...
Hey everyone,
Two weeks a go I was privileged to be part of such an beautiful day with a lot of beautiful people.
It was the day the wish was granted for a lovely little woman named Emma by the Make-A-Wish foundation.
The Make-A-Wish foundation is a organization that makes a hearts wish come true of children from the ages of three to eighteen. All the information about the organization you can find here. And if you can support the organization in one way or the other please do. They need all the help they can get. They have such a beautiful mission.
Her wish was they she could have a froze themed day, and learn how to photograph from a real photographer and have a photo shoot at the same time together with her sister. She and her sister and parents got picked up in the morning by u giant pink limousine.
After that, it was off to get dressed in some beautiful dresses and having a nice big piece of pie. After the pie make-up and hair was done. After that it was on their way to Castle Warmelo.
At that moment I joined the day.
Horses were ridden. We walked through the Castle gardens. Cameras were explained. And a lot of smiles were seen. Which made me very happy.
Normally my stories are longer. But a photograph always says more than a thousand words. So I have chosen five of my favorite photographs of the day which you can see below.
Thank you so much I could be part of the special day and share the day with your wonderful family. And of course thank you that I could write and share a little story about it.
The one about how photography is looked upon across the world. A sour market salesman. And you and your work are important.
Ah Sunday morning...
The day I am finishing up this blog post.
Getting through some world news. Having some coffee. And listening to some vynil. Perfect conditions to finish this story up. It is going to be a long one, so get ready to challenge that millennial attention span!
We will touch a couple of subjects like GDPR (law), differences how photography is viewed around the world, and that your work is important.
So let's start...
I wanted to write this article for a long time. And my encounter with an incredible sour market salesman in one of the busiest places of Amsterdam sped it up a bit.
I was so happy last Friday. It was finally raining again... Oh boy I waited for that moment so long! Rain for me is the ultimate photographic aphrodisiac. I write about it sometimes in my captions. Rain makes the masks fall off from people. People wear multiple masks. Especially here in the rich west. As soon as it starts raining they disappear and start getting real.
Some get angry, some get happy, and some just don't want to get wet. For me as a photographer that is important because you can document how they are. Not how they pretend to be. That is a big difference in the story you try to tell.
I got on the train and started walking. It was not a bad day, and I think I walked around 12KM or something. My usual distance...
Unfortunately the rain was not as present as I hoped. And it took a while before I got in the flow. But after a while I started to warm up and gotten more and more shots in.
After a couple of hours I was almost done for that day. But I made small detour because there is always a market in Amsterdam on one of the squares in the city center. And market is a good opportunity to work with layers and lines.
So I walked around a bit. did some layers shots. Walked to the end. Shot some more. And looked for some interesting scenes, stood still for a bit, and decided to walk back because I was in the mood for a beer.
The moment I decided to walk back I got spoken to by a market salesman sitting on a stool. Apparently he noticed me and he made a very weird remark. And instead of letting it go, or even worse, get affected or angry, I decided to start a conversation with him.
The reason for this; a couple of weeks earlier the lady of flower shop not far from there started yelling at me because I took a photo of her shop from 20 meters away. And that is quite the distance with the focal length I am shooting with haha.
For your info. I use a Fujifilm X100F at the moment. That one has a fixed focal length of 23mm on a APS-C sensor. That means 35mm Full-Frame.
Normally nobody notices me, or they just don't care. Or they like what I do. Especially when I talk to people. I actually never had any bad experiences before. There are four I have ever had in all the time I have been photographing. Including the sour market salesman.
Once I got a message from someone who thought he could get rich of me. A junkie somewhere in the middle east tried to shoot me, but I think it would have been the same if I walked around that neighborhood without a camera. The flower lady. And the sour market salesman.
Three out of four incident happened in Amsterdam.
Let that sink in...
So before that last situation happened I started thinking about that subject matter. And what it means and let my whole monkey mind go nuts on it.
Remember my monkey mind?
Back to the conversation with the sour market guy.
Because of I was so intrigued by his remark and why he and the flower lady reacted like that I engaged the conversation.
So I stayed very polite. I explained him who I was and what I do. And asked him why he reacted the way he reacted.
The sad thing is, he could not give me a good explanation...
He just kept saying it was not allowed to take pictures. And after I told him what I do with the photographs. A brief history lesson about photography in Amsterdam and Ed van der Elsken. And actually that I am allowed, he still didn't get it.
His buddy who was sitting next to him did get it. And actually was very interested. Thank you sir. You were actually very kind...
After that he started getting mean. He told my I would fail in all of my endeavors, did some additional cursing and some other very rude remarks that were completely unnecessary. And I don't need to repeat to get my point across with this blog post. I giving the situation enough attention as it is already. Also some bystanders came to support me and tell the guy off.
The thing that stood out most from that conversation is he could could not explain himself.
Besides that. The market in that area is based upon selling artwork. So why don't you understand that photography is art?
From a commercial standpoint you are hurting your own business by making a scene in front of your shop. So why do you want to do that?
And I think most import. You are in one of the busiest sections of Amsterdam with your stand. You know that there are a lot of tourist there that just want to have a good time and take photographs. Why in the hell do you think your ego is so important that you can get mad at someone for taking a photograph?
I could go on and on... But I guess I need to start getting to my point before it becomes more of a rant instead of a informational piece.
One of the explanations I gave was that I am documenting life and when I am not traveling I document Amsterdam. His response was; photograph somewhere else.
Of course there is a lot more nuance in the whole conversation. But still...
And I did not even take his photograph. And even if I did, and he didn't like it. He could have told me in a normal civilized matter. I can totally understand that.
But unfortunately being angry and rude to people is a trend see evolving in the city. Espacially bikers yelling at tourist. Come on! You know that you are riding your bike in the city center. Most tourist have never seen so many bikes in their life. So why be angry at them? Just take the other lane one more street further where there is nothing to yell about...
But back to the core of the article!
On "How photography is looked upon in the world"
I was curious; Why!?
It is so strange that of all the places I have been the one back-home is the one with the weirdest reactions?
In Japan for example photography is a big part of the culture. Everyone likes it. Same goes for the entire South-East Asia. You will not have any trouble there. I know tv shows from Korea which are totally dedicated to photography and they follow heroes like Alex Webb and David Alan Harvey.
Northern Africa is a bit more difficult but if you use your common sense you will not have any trouble. But you can run into that sometimes people cover their faces. Same goes for the Middle-East. But that should not give any problems if you are just polite.
And of all places Iran has been the most photo friendly country I have been so far! People want to be in your frame! In Tehran I have gotten so many nice responses. Who would have thought that!
I still have to go to India. But I will be there in October so I can tell you more when I get back.
So why here...
Is it because of the paparazzi that ruined photography for us all?
Is because everyone has a cellphone with a camera on it and we see so many crappy photographs?
Is it because the west is getting less and less educated in art?
Or is it because we have became so wealthy that with all the technology and living in a "Garden of earthly delights" like society (the painting by Hieronymus Bosch ) that were are so into instant gratification and are just motivated money, lust, and ego?
I sincerely hope that someone can tell me that answer. Or maybe I will find out myself in the near future...
It is fascinating how big the difference is from country to country.
It is not all bad. And maybe it even differs from city to city.
For example: In the city of Scheveningen. Which is a small town next to the Hague. There is a huge exhibit going on about Street Photography / Social Documentary which has been shot and exhibited on the beach. And everyone likes it!
The exhibit is on the big pier BTW! It is worth it so go check it out...
The other things that I took from that conversation is the "I hope you fail...", and "You are not allowed..."
On "I hope you fail..."
Besides it is just very mean to say. I think we as photographers. Or as artists in general we have an very, and I repeat very Important job. We are story tellers. Either it is through photos, painting, music, or sculpting. It is made to move people. Make them happy when they are sad. Heal them or giving a feeling that they are understood. Or even educate people and hold a mirror in front of them. Or maybe even a critique to society...
Also! Art is a way to tell how life was during this time. How it was perceived. I see photography as the only way we have a real life time machine. The one thing that can stop time itself. Other ways do not exist. And there is no way the most important moments in life can be relived than through this medium.
So yes. To everyone that reads this that is a photographer or a artist in general...
Your work matters!
Especially now. In a time when there is more polarization than ever. More conflict among each other. From the Netherlands to the United States. More people dictating each other what they should or shouldn't do. Racism and segregation.
Sometimes for me society feels like we are repeating history and have not learned a damn thing!
So continue to inspire others with all the beautiful work you are making. And never ever do not let someone else tell you otherwise!
You matter!
Not only as a artist. But as a person too...
So ergo. You matter to me...
On "You are not allowed..."
Of course you are!
*Small disclaimer: I am not a lawyer
Besides from that we have established that social documentary is an art form and not paparazzi. And ethically you are not doing anything wrong.
Laws in Europe have changed. GDPR is now in affect. But after I have done lot's and lot's of research on the matter. Nothing has changed actually...
If you are in a public place you are allowed to take photographs. And you don't need to ask for permission in doing so.
As soon as you press the shutter button you own the copyright.
But! There is always a big but...
You do have to do it from a journalistic, artistic, or educational standpoint.
Some might even think that you have to erase your photograph. But depending on the country you literally don't have too if you don't want too. That goes for European countries and Northern Parts of America. Remember that the copyright is yours.
You cannot use it for commercial purposes. That means you can not sell it to a big brands and say: here, use this one in your marketing campaign. You have to get model releases.
But you can use it as fine art. Make a print. Or a book.
Like always. There are some nuances in play. But I will link some sources (In Dutch) below. So you can read it yourself.
That of course does not mean you can walk around and being an ass and annoy people with your camera. Remember that you have an important job? That can only be done with ethics and a good heart.
My final conclussion...
This experience raised more questions than answers I am afraid. But more about how we treat each other than about art itself.
And maybe even how hypoctritical we are as a society.
And when you have gotten to this last part of this article probably means you are a photographer yourself. Or a lover for photography.
So let me explain myself with a question I get sometimes.
"Do you ask for permission?"
Well... Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. And if it is not personal work but commissioned or a assignment people know in front that they are photographed.
We look at pretty pictures and all enjoy the works of Steve McCurry, or attend a World Press Photo show, or read the National Geographic... But how do you think those photographs are made?
The decisive moment is once and it disappears in a heartbeat. And you will never get it back. Photographers or artists are the only ones who can make sure it is captured otherwise it is gone forever.
It is not easy to document life. And tell how beautiful the world is. And sometimes very sad...
Let that sink in for a moment and go on by your day...
I guess it is time that I put up another record. I have spend to much time behind the laptop already...
- Cristian
Sources:
Introducing Andante - Portrait series of the soul. No 1.
Monday night... 23:03... 2018...
I should be sleeping but I put up a record of one of mine favorite classical pieces.
Symphonie Espagnole, Op. 21 IV. Andante...
I never knew I like classical music until I picked up a box of LP records from my uncle's place, which I inherited from my dad. Thanks dad...
Years later everything falls into place. Classical music... Photography... And a Russian photographer named Alexey Titarenko.
When I discovered his work I was blown away. I was exactly how I look at the world! He describes his work in one of his interviews as a cello playing... Long... And slow... The state of despair of cold war Russia put in an image only he could make. A real "City of Shadows..."
Later it was the name of one of his books. The other one is "The city is a novel..."
Inspired by him, and my own views of the world, I created a concept in my mind. And for two years it was brewing... Forming... Shaping... And waiting for the right moment.
An visual representation of my own cello in my monkey mind. Only my monkey plays more of a violin. But still slow!
Slow... Seeing people like a sea of souls in a world full of contradictions... Sadness and joy... Beauty and pain... Truth and lies... The ultimate form in shapes of what people really want but actually do...
It is like writing my own novel...
Only with the camera.
Or is it more an autobiography?
I truly believe that something magical happens when you press the shutter button. The visual representation you see might be a composition. But for me it feels like opening up my own soul, bare naked, to express how I see this giant magic ball floating in space we live on but can't put it into words...
Luckily I shoot work full of joy too. But both sides are a part of life. The sad needs to be there to enjoy the beautiful even more. Balance... And my close friends know that I always say...
As above, so below...
Art is a good way to vent. And something can be beautiful, and sad, and full of joy at the same time. A dramatic depiction of life! And do we need more drama? Maybe... It creates a lot. From connections, to romance, and even substance and depth. Maybe it is even a message of the things we tend to forget. And maybe not even forgotten but put aside because of the rat race we are stuck in... No matter which mask you are wearing or character playing...
I guess I am sidetracking now... Back on topic!
I should be a story teller...
None of my street, travel, or documentary work is staged. Everything is real. And I take my pride in that. That means also this portrait series. The only thing I added to the composition is the model... Which I was looking for a long time...
Finally the right moment came when I was contacted by Roos Tulen. She is the resident artist of the city of Leiden. She decided to start her own project. And that project became herself. She signed up for a fitness competition where you had to stand in a bikini on a big stage. And that meant a completely different lifestyle than then weightlifting she was used to.
That also meant a lot of physical changes. And because of that she asked twenty photographers to capture her journey... And every photographer would capture her in his or her unique way. In the end it will become an art project by itself presented in the city of Leiden.
All the details of that I will tell in a later story. So stay tuned!
This is where I played my part. Finally I could make the concept what I had in mind for a long time reality.
Within time this concept will become a series. When I find the right soul that needs to be captured. Some of them will be made here in the Netherlands. Others during one of my travels...
Let's see...
Andante - Portrait series of the soul. No 1.
Did Instagram kill photography?
I woke up this morning...
Thank god...
Because I like waking up!
The smell of incense was still hanging around from last nights meditation... Sun was a shining a bit on my face because I left the curtains a bit open... And my mind went to photography again...
Because I like photography...
Cup of coffee was made... Went back to bed... And turned on my iPad...
Grateful...
In comparison to most parts of the world where I travel to, people don't have the luxury waking up like this...
I started watching "The many lives of William Klein." and Daido Moriyama's "Near Equal.". If you aren't familiar with those photographers go look them up! And make that your main task today...
I let my mind wander... Thinking... Always thinking...
Because I like thinking...
And my monkey mind is always jumping from one place to the other. In this case to a quote from another legend, Elliot Erwitt. "Digital Manipulation kills photography".
Altough I don't completely agree. Because photographs have always been manipulated! Either in the darkroom or in the digital darkroom that is stationed on your computer.
He does have a point!
My monkey mind was going insane again. But it ain't all that bad...
Because I like my monkey mind...
How does Instagram fit into all of this? And what is Instagram actually? And what if William Klein was born when Instagram existed? or Daido Moriyama?
Valid questions... But more so. It gave me also the opportunity to think about the way how the general public uses Instagram. Or any other piece of social media. Or hell! Even how we treat everyday life.
As where I stand now the platform itself is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Let me elaborate on that.
The positives are quite big actually. It gives any person in the world the opportunity to get their message out there. Either it is music, art, views, or whatever. It can help you build a audience that you otherwise would not have. The whole world at your fingertips! As long as you have a internet connection and a phone or a computer.
Awesome right?
The downside is... Well... us... The people...
Wait wut? What do you mean Cristian!?!?
Well like a lot of things in life it has become more of a popularity contest. We as a species at this moment, and yes I am realizing I am generalizing heavily now, seem to have to attention span of a goldfish! Actually I believe that science already proved that it is even less now...
We choose to get triggered by stuff that is catchy. We see it in our politics, how we communicate with each other, or we rather take a pill to lose weight than change our diet. And even rather send a text than have a telephone conversation because it is scary...
Same goes for art and Instagram.
For me a great photograph is something that you have to analyze... You can lose yourself into... Let yourself escape from reality... Or experience reality more vivid... It is really one big visual story one way or the other. Either it is the traveling tales of Steve McCurry or being in some sort of photographic version of the horror movie the ring and a playboy magazine with Daido's work.
And how does that translate to a medium like Instagram?
Well no worries I will come to that. Life is one big story! And...
Because I like telling stories...
Well, look closely how you scroll through your feed? Maybe another assignment for today?
I goes something like this....
Scroll scroll scroll, Like , Scroll, Like, Comment, Scroll scroll...
And all of that in a couple of seconds...
Did you actually see some of the photographs?
Or did you just got triggered by something catchy?
Would you have the same behavior if you go through a Steve McCurry book?
I think it is a good question to ask yourself. Especially if you consider yourself a photographer, a artist, or just a art lover in general.
That does not mean there isn't a time and a place for the platform. I discovered some amazing photographers who made the platform their own. But it creates some sort of unexplainable distance between one type of photographer and the other. You even got a term "Instagram photographer". Like that a person that uses the platform apparently in a efficient form isn't a real photographer?
I don't know...
I think photographers that both are on the platform and are not on the platform or maybe less successful on it, are photographers. So hmmmm it can be part of my conclusion...
All I know is I don't like trends... And most of my photographic heroes where from a time that it did not exist. I don't like cropping. Don't like shitty small screens but I do like to print my photographs big. And I don't like it when we fall in the trap of instant gratification. Either it is enjoying art or interacting with humans...
Because I like art and I like humans...
And do we have to copy all the big accounts all the time?
On the other hand I also do realize that times always change. And you either adapt or you die out. And change is good. Altough not always... But sometimes.
And a picture is a picture. It does not matter what tool you use. So should that also count for the medium we use how to show it to the world?
But what I do believe is that whatever medium we use. We do need to stop, and appreciate the art for what it is. Give ourselves the time to enjoy it. Stop a bit longer at the photograph you like and stop scrolling, or walking, or turning the pages...
Enjoy it for what it is.... A story...
Food for thought...
Speaking about food... I am going to have a bite....
Because I like food...
Have a nice weekend you all...
- Cristian
The most awesome publication... A cover in Iran.
Couple of day a go ...
Woke up... Made some very nice fresh coffee... Read some news...
Than the doorbell rang!
It was the package delivery service. I knew there was something on it's way. I just won a old vintage Scott receiver at a online auction. So I expected that one... But surprised as I could be, the delivery guy had two packages for me!
The receiver was all cool and stuff. But as soon as I noticed the second package and saw the stamps on the envelop I knew what it was.
It was my copy of the magazine I got published in from Iran!
Mehdi, the creator of the magazine contacted me a while a go if he could use one of my photographs I took in the Nasir Al-Mulk mosque in Shiraz. To be specific, it was the one with the lady with the gown.
I agreed and some time went by. He said to me he would send me a copy. But with the whole embargo thing going on I didn't expect anything. Maybe the government would hold it or something. I don't know.
But it arrived!
So screw the amp!
I guess I don't have to tell how cool it is to see your work published. Let alone in a magazine in Iran. But a little hint. Getting a magazine out there goes a little bit different over there than here in the west and is a bit more difficult.
Mehdi did a beautiful job and the magazine is about arts and culture. I even got the cover!
He translated some articles for me. And even within the package he included some prints of his province where he lives. Borujerd...
Of course it would be amazing to be on the cover of National Geographic one day... But this... man... I guess for me it is even way cooler.
Anyways! It made me very happy!
I put some photos below if you want to have a look.
P.S.
The receiver is awesome too. Listening to my records while I am writing...
Five things I learned about (Life) going to Jerusalem the second time...
Need to make money...
Need to get my motorbike fixed...
Need to do this and that...
F##ck...
April 8th 2018...
Three weeks has passed since my last blog post. And it is incredible how easy you get sucked in everyday life again...
There is never a better moment than now, but in this case and the mindset I have at the moment. It feels more right than ever to write the second part of the five things I learned series.
This one, the second one, is about life!
Sometimes it is so easy as photographer to get stuck in the technical crap that involves photography. But we tend to forget that photography is about life. It is a art form meant to capture life. And it is the only machine we really have to capture life in it's purest form. A bundle of emotion captured in one frame beamed onto your screen or printed on your paper and for you to reminisce. Like a real life time machine in the palm of your hand...
Of course the blog posts are not for photographers only but everyone that loves following my adventures and mind farts. That's why most of my blog posts are more philosophical and about art than gear or tech related stuff.
I use my art to tell stories. About the world, life, but it is also my critique to society. A way I know to let my mind wander and try to make sense of all the stuff that is going on in my head... And even a way try to make sense of the madness we call life....
My photography brings me a lot. And most of the time to places and moments. And because I use it to make sense of all of it it schools me too. Sometimes I realize I am right, sometimes I realize that I am wrong, and sometimes it raises even more questions...
So what does all of this have to do with my second trip to Jerusalem?
I will come to that... No worries...
I guess it is also very easy to fall into the political trap because of the city of Jerusalem. And because of that I will keep my views unbiased. I am a observer. And this article about the lessons I have learned. As a person... And not about someone that needs to do this or that...
So here we go!
- We are all human...
I put this one first but it was the last one I wrote...
I think it is because this one is the hardest to explain of them all...
At one point I was having coffee in the old city. And at another moment I was going through a checkpoint and walking around in a 400m2 area where about 15000 humans live. That is a experience...
The "funny" thing is. I had many similarities with Omar. My guide through the camps. We talked about life there. Life where I am from. And everything in between. He is a talented artist. Seems to make most of the situation.
A moment later I had a call with my Israeli friend Chana which I was supposed to meet. But her car broke down and she couldn't make it. But she felt so bad... She was engaged to be married and wanted to tell me all about it. And I didn't see her for two years so it was the perfect moment to catch up. But fate decided otherwise...
Despite all of our differences we are so similar as human beings...
We all share the same emotions about love, life and death, living and caring...
It gave me a good sense of direction I want to go with my art and passion projects. We are all one... Let's finally understand that...
- Work hard, but don't rush...
I already mentioned this in my previous blog post in the part take your time. But I want to get into it a little bit deeper.
Good things come to those who work hard. And that is the absolute truth! Of course there are setbacks. But working hard also involves not giving up.
The big trap is rushing.
And I fell for it...
There is thing called Street Zen and the first time I heard about it was on a podcast by Eric Kim.
I guess the whole trick is to find that Street Zen! I wanted to do too much. And I rushed and I rushed. Sometimes forced and sometimes self inflicted. We all know we as humans can be our worst enemy.
Street Zen is a real thing. And you can apply it to everything in I guess and call it being in the zone. Ah well...
If you want to deliver quality find you Zen. Take your time. Know your intent for the photograph. And go with the flow.
Rushing never did anyone any good. Same as sitting on your ass.
- Find your own truths...
When I was a little kid we had a game in class named "I ga op vakantie en ik neem mee". It roughly translates: I will go on holiday and take with me... It is a game to see if the first person that tells something, will it still be the same if it reaches the end...
Real life information tends to do the same...
Taking up a project, a passion project or a normal one, or just regular travel. You need to do some research. Some of it comes to word by mouth. Some of it goes by the news or books. Or the internet. Or even better. The lonely planet!
Wonderful!
But I have experienced now numerous times that when I arrive it was different than I imagned.
Iran was not full of terrorists...
The Tsjech republic does not have nice beer... (Sorry...)
And Israelis and Palestinians can be friends...
Wait whuuut? What did I just say!?
The last thing I watched on the news was all of the violence that happened during the return march. And of course all the stuff that you read about in the papers. And not to speak of about social media...
I've seen Israeli soldiers taking photographs of a Palestinian father and son. Arab making small talk with Jews. And little kids having fun in the streets...
Somehow the whole situation seemed less tense than the first time I was there. And although I came there to work on my photography I had a great time. Yes haha, you can have fun and work at the same time...
So always find out your own truth. Hell, even doubt this blog... Just go out and explore yourself. It is way more fun anyway.
And that counts for everything. A camera review. A song you hear in the radio. A certain restaurant that a travel guide says you have to visit! Or not! And than it turns out is is the worst or best experience ever... And even the news...
- We all have our own shit...
Sometimes I tend to forget that. The part that we are all human... When you have seen a lot and have een trough a lot it is so easy to say: yeah we in the west have forgotten to be happy and we are spoiled to the bone... Especially if you experience the Israeli and Palestinian conflict sort of up close...
And for a big part it is true...
Yes, I just said that...
In a big way with all the wealth that we have we fell into the a giant trap that we have forgotten what is most important in life. And we make a fuzz about trivial shit.
That does not mean that we do not have our own problems. Because we do have. Because of all of those traps certain other issues arise. Mental health issues, disassociation, a rising gap between rich and poor. Even global warming! Rising suicide rates...
Actually all of this is nothing new.
Everybody knows it...
And I am about to hit the point I am trying to make. So hold on!
I think the lesson I have learned is not being so judgmental. Actually because of all of those thoughts I just mentioned. Yes! I was judgmental. And it is good for your art to wind yourself up about something.
But it was to easy for me to get angry at the woman who tried to park her bicycle into my motorbike because she said; "Well as long as I can park my bike here than I will be fine. I don't care about anybody else..." just the day after I got home. And yell at her: You don't know how good we have it here! Be grateful!
I need to wind myself up the same amount about the stuff back home as I do with all the other stuff that is happening in the world.
Why?
Well because like I said earlier. We are all human. And as long we don't understand ourselves and each other. We will never see any progress and all the bad shit will continue to happen everywhere.
Who knows what the woman has been trough.
Be a possitive exapmle...
That at least is my two cents...
- Never rest...
This entire trip lit a bigger fire in me than ever. I am not used to giving up. And I am sure as hell more than ever determined I will make it was a photographer and story teller.
I mentioned not sitting on your (mine) ass never did anybody good. And it is the honest truth. It is something I took from sports. I you want something go and get. Never give up. And put in the work. All those Gary Vee posts are all about that. You know the drill... Don't expect to reach a target if you hang out on the beach or go out for drinks. Although relaxation is important too. Get your priorities straight...
The here and the now is this life. One life... And I have to fan the flames of what my soul puts on fire... So Rumi was right after all...
At first all of this seems to have nothing to do with photography. But believe me it does... It is a art form despite it does not seem like it in this day and age. If you want to make a beautiful portrait of someone you still have to see the artistic and human side of things. Otherwise you will never capture the essence of that human being. Same goes for architecture or landscape.
If you do your photography with your soul it will all work out and it will show in your work...
And like I said earlier. It does not only count for photography but for everything.
Just put your soul into things... Work, art, friends, family, your partner...
Btw! I named the project "Neshame Sheli". It means roughly translated: You are important to me. You are a part of my soul... And that is how I feel about my photographs and telling stories. Hopefully it shows and you see that too...
- Cristian