Henri Cartier-Bresson
Hey everyone,
There is a article published about my work in Myanmar on the analog photography website, Emulsive.
Super proud and happy to see my work on there.
You can check it out here if you are interested.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
~ Cristian
Finally… The sun was out…
December third was the last time I have updated my blog. The whole reason for that? Work… I think it took me about to the end of December to finalize my Myanmar work. Than came all the emailing, contacting, printing, writing, and so much more! Also research for my projects this year… So much research…
Now it is February already and it feels like a second winter here in the Netherlands.
Luckily the sun was out last Friday so that meant I could shoot some street. You can find those at the end of the post. And as you can guess. It is not going to be a long one.
Two updates…
One:
I made five prints in my darkroom which are up for sale in my print store. It is one of Phaw and is printed on Ilford Multigrade RC warmtone paper with warmtone developer. Click here to go to my print store so you can order one if you like it.
It is matted, signed, and numbered, and ready to frame and hang on your wall.
Like I said, it is a run of five. And all handmade by myself in my darkroom. Old school silver gelatin hand work.
Will print more later on. But printing in a darkroom takes a lot of time and energy. It is a different and also difficult craft besides the photographing and developing itself.
The second one:
March 6th there will be article out on Emulsive. Of course when it is live everyone will be spammed. It will be one about my Myanmar project. So super excited about it.
Looking for a gallery:
Also I am looking for a gallery to exhibit my Myanmar project. So if you are reading this, and you are a curator. Don’t hesitate to contact me. I sincerely appreciate it.
Some photographs…
Like I promised. Here are the photographs from last sunny Friday. I have shot it with my regular Ilford film. Some Rollei Retro 400s I have found in my fridge. And Even a roll of Acros.
But I hate talking about gear and gear related stuff. In the end it’s the photograph what counts. Even more so… In my humble opinion. A photograph is not a photograph until it is printed.
Not on the internetz…
*click the photographs to make them bigger.
Cris you are the richest man in the world…
That is what she said when we ended lunch. Or at least something similar… It doesn’t matter in the end though. It is what she meant what counts.
A cold Saturday back in the Netherlands and she finally gave me the words that I needed to start writing again. I has been a while since my last decent story. But that is okay. It was a busy time.
Just returned back form Myanmar photographing one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. What a trip…
I left…
*Note: Some photographs, and people I want to thank at the bottom.*
At the beginning of October I left the Netherlands to go on my adventure. Objective of the adventure: Try to tell the story of the indigenous tribes in Myanmar and how they deal with modern times.
First a small stop in Bangkok and from Bangkok I flew to Yangon, Myanmar. Too many airports, especially because I was traveling with a ton of film. But luckily all of the customs where so nice. Especially in Asia. They noticed me standing in line with my big see through bags full of film and my film was hand checked as soon as I got through customs myself. The airport in France on the other hand… They need to work on their manners a bit… But that is story is for another time… CDG, you suck.
In Bangkok I stocked up on even some more film and I was ready to go. For the people that are interested in what cameras I brought. It was my trusty Nikon FM2n and a old Yashica Mat 124G. As a back-up I brought my Nikon D810. A digital one. But that camera has never left my bag. My mind was determent this was going to be a analog only trip. If they could do it in the old days, it could be done now. And so I did.
Arriving in Yangon…
My arrival could have gone better. As soon as I got in the taxi I started feeling sick… What could it be… I never get sick… I shared the taxi with a girl which I have met at the airport and I tried to keep myself in order. Cracked open the window to get some fresh air, but with all the rain and thunder going on it was not the smartest of ideas.
As soon as I arrived in my hostel the food poisoning which I apparently had, kicked into fifth gear. Locking myself up in the toilet was the only option. Too bad the hostel turned off the water right at that exact moment.
Fuck.
Preparing for my last leg…
After being knocked off my feet for almost two days I got outside to get some fresh air and bought some Royal D. That is some sort of electrolyte drink and I needed that. I was so dehydrated… What I didn’t need was to be in a bumpy bus later that day, but I had no choice. I had to. Loikaw was up, and I just really wanted to go there. My final destination.
Luckily I met a super cool guy in the bus. And what do you know. I ran into him on the way back too.
The country had so many similarities to all the other countries I have been… And as soon as I arrived at the bus station right outside of the city it immediately felt like I was in Iran.
The whole country for me was the perfect combination of the kindness of the people of Iran, the amazing food of Vietnam, and the energy of the streets of India…
Beautiful…
Faith and a doorway to a store full of Longyi…
There she was. Standing in the doorway of a shop that sold longyis. A super big smile on her face, and so on mine. A split second was only needed before we recognized each other.
Victoria…
One of the beautiful souls that helped me so much on my way. Without her… I think most of my project would have failed. Or at least more difficult.
Professional photographer!!! it sounded!
Aaaaaaaah Victoria! So good to finally see you for real!
We exchanged a lot of messages over WhatsApp before my arrival and how she could have be of help. I ended up at random at one of her stores. I just went for a stroll to check out the city and stretch my legs, so faith decided I would meet her immediately without even texting her.
I love faith.
Me and the Chinese motorbike…
As stubborn sometimes I can be the first day I got myself a Chinese motorbike. Victoria warned me not to take that one. But me being Dutch and wanting to save money made me decide to take that one.
My ass did not thank me for that decision…
I took the motorcycle to drive to one of the first villages. It is not allowed to stay in the villages overnight, which I think is a really good thing. So the plan was to drive every morning to at least one of them and drive back before sunset.
But as unpredictable as life is… So was the rest of my journey…
Let me tell you about Moly…
Hair braided and hanging to the side with an umbrella in hand she walked towards me and asked me: Are you Cris?
The only thing I could think was she was like a beautiful young princess that could have walked right out of a Disney movie. Young and and early in her twenties I noticed she was the only one wearing western style dress…
Yes yes… I am Cris! I answered…
You must be Moly?
Moly was my interpreter in the village. I was so happy I immediately ran into her. This because after enjoying the beautiful landscapes of Myanmar I got lost, and it started to rain like Odin cried his heart out. The poncho I brought did it’s job perfectly. Camera dry, and my body too. My feet not so much, and so weren’t my glasses.
An interpreter is needed because all of the villages of the indigenous people around the country of Myanmar have their own language.
We were standing in the middle of the road, a soccer match to the left, a garrison of armed soldiers on the right. And us discussing what my plan was for the day and maybe the days later, and was I was to expect.
She hopped on the back of my Chinese motorbike the same way an amazon warrior does and told me to drive out of the village to one further away…
And so we drove…
Mulon…
I was honored to meet and have a talk with Mulon… She was one of the grandmothers of the village. She was cooking rice and preparing food for the community so Moly and I joined her for the cooking.
But what do you talk about?
I mean I am sort of good in conversation. And I have seen a lot in my life… But if you arrive finally at the place you have been preparing for, for a long time. And also, let’s be honest, seeing an old but beautiful woman with a neck almost twice the size as mine, I mean… That made me a little bit lost for words.
But after a short while the first jokes were cracked. And in the end we talked about everything that life is about.
The beauty is. And I think one of lessons you always learn no matter where you go in the world. We have more in common than we think, and we all long for the same things in life…
We ended with a portrait session…
Evil spirits…
I said goodbye to Moly for the day and made plans to return upcoming days. Because in an instant, this place already captured my heart.
Victoria made sure I was going to other places. Thank god for Victoria. I think I almost would have lived there already. So good of her that she kicked my ass into gear. Also she got me a way better motorbike.
So one of the mornings I went to the farthest place away… It was a three hour ride over mountain roads that were not always that good anymore. So a driver was needed. To share costs I joined a Spanish blogger, Manuela. And two young vibrant Burmese women, Sandar and Marina.
I cannot describe where we ended up in but it was so amazing. I think it was way to describe all of the times I arrived at a new places.
Manuela was put into traditional clothing, and off we went to the courtyard of a house in the middle of the village.
Pot and pans everywhere. A dead pig in some burning bushes. And than it started…
There was some commotion…
A rifle shot…
Playing of drums began…
The shaman was doing his ceremony with spear and shield, walking on the beat of the drum. And on some of the drum beats, more rifle fire.
They were old rifles… So old and bent, I think if you want to go out and shoot something with it you will probably hit yourself in the foot. Or any other place other than the target.
But that is okay. For the ceremony it did exactly what it had to do…
The shaman was doing all of this to get the evil spirits away from the house. Catch them. Put them in a basket with some bamboo strips and chicken bones. And bury it outside of the village where they can do no to anyone.
At one moment more rice wine…
My stomach still wasn’t settled but I drank it anyway. I mean, you only live once… And I actually quite like it. And luckily it is without alcohol I learned later. That’s a good thing… Because a couple of days later on my birthday I drank a lot more!
Fuck, it’s my birthday…
My phone started ringing early in the morning… It was Victoria.
Happpppppppyyyy Biiirrtthhdaayyy Crrriiiissss!!!
She remembered and she was actually the first one to congratulate me. Later that day she was also responsible for one of the three times I celebrated it.
I never celebrate it like a normal Dutch person does. I like it and don’t like it at the same time. I always try to be away but with Victoria around there was no escaping it.
But I had to put some clothes on… Super excited. Because I was going back to the first village and meet up with Moly and her grandmother.
Moly’s grandmother was not alone. She brought her best friend… Phaw…
For my birthday we went to their favorite place. A rice field somewhere in the mountains. It was quite the walk, but those two grandmothers walked like the wind. 78 and 74 years old but so strong and agile.
At one point we ran into a cow herder and he asked Moly where they hid me. This because I was so big in comparison to the locals and it is not allowed to stay there overnight. I had to laugh. In the Netherlands I am just normal… At least my length. My body is still that of an Olympic Weightlifter.
Soul Sisters…
They told me some amazing stories during the walk. The one I remember most vividly is that of when they were young they both had the dream of marrying a boy from the same village so they can stay together forever. And so they did… Still together as best friends in the same village…
Well if that isn’t the most beautiful and romantic story you have ever heard I just don’t know anymore…
True soul sisters and they found a way to stay together trough all of the difficult times and conflict the country has known…
The rest of the day we spend on the porch and drank some rice wine. Moly has secretly gotten me a gift gift for my birthday. A handmade scarf she made herself. It is just a gem. But what she didn’t realize, is that spending my day with her, having lunch with her family, drinking wine was the best gift I could ever have…
Even when the little kids asked me if I was in an accident because my entire body was covered in Thanaka. I was completely sunburned by now. And it was the only thing that helped.
I had to laugh a bit.
No I am fine haha. It is just a sunburn.
Time passes on…
Like I always say… Time is the most precious commodity in the world. It can’t be stopped or bought… And you can only spend it once…
That makes the rest of the day even more special. Victoria showed up at the restaurant with the biggest birthday cake I have ever had. Literally I never had such a big one! My name was on it and even a camera. How in the name of god could she have fixed that so quickly!
Time can maybe never be stopped. But these are memories I will forever carry with me…
End of my main objective…
The rest of my remainder of my time I continued photographing as much I could find of the local villages and there was gas in my motorbike. I you have any clue how difficult that is. Normal street photography rules don’t apply if you step into a different world. Not if you want to tell their real story and to be honorable about your work at the same time. Photographs are always given…
The story is also far from over…
Villages with dragon hats, got stung by a bee in my eye, got lost again…
But at one point I had to travel back…
Back to the biggest city of the country…
Back to the former capital…
I shed a little tear when I said goodbye and off I went, back into the night bus…
But it was not all bad. Met up with Sandar again and also gave me a birthday present and took me out for dinner. My third birthday party!!!
Had some amazing conversations with Natalia which I have also met in Yangon. And also Tyler my beer guzzling Australian buddy.
Time to relax after. After all my Holiday sort of started now I was done…
So Cris, will you ever come to the “you are the richest man in the world” part?
I will no worries…
If you have made it this far you have sincerely earned it…
Thank you for that…
The story so far sounds amazing. And honestly by itself it is a once in a lifetime experience. And I could already measure my richness in just this trip. But you probably have discovered that richness for me is not in money…
One of the topics discussed during the lunch is also being proud of who you are and that it is allowed to let it be part of your story… And also that it is allowed to be proud of yourself.
If I look at my life in retrospect I have plenty to be proud of and not in an arrogant kind of way. But I have never stood still for real about that. I mean I know it, but I also know nothing more than grinding… Working hard… Because in my monkey mind that is the only way to achieve my dreams…
My dad dying…
So let me tell you a little bit about myself…
My dad dying was and is still a big reason why I do what I do. Maybe it is also my souls path. But still…
I was only three years old when it happened but thinking of it now makes me remember his funeral very vividly… His coffin, how hard I cried, and the people I sought comfort with.
After my dad died my stepfather did something so atrocious to one of my family members we had to run away in an instant and were literally without a home for a while…
Of course sleeping at your grandparents and uncle at one point is still a roof. But still it’s not a good and healthy way to grow up.
When our family has been through many court sessions and other things we finally found a place for ourselves in the worst neighborhood of the city I lived in.
Waking up from gunshots… Stepping over junkies in the morning to grab my bike to go to school… No money…
The mailman even got beat up. And my gym owner learned me how to shave.
Growing up like that with literally nothing. I was so driven to make most of my life. That of course came with a shitload of mistakes. But the drive was always there. Working, training hard, studying. All at the same time. Too bad days only contained 24 hours… I made myself a promise to escape that life if it was the last thing I did.
And so I did…
I did so many things I am proud of but these are the ones I want to mention.
I achieved something later in age in Olympic Weightlifting I thought I would never do when I picked up my first barbell when I was fifteen.
And became an successful IT engineer at one of the best companies in my country. The same company also gave me the opportunity to follow my dreams to become a photographer and work part time for them.
Even learned to play three instruments and played in an awesome metal band and did some awesome shows.
And now, traveling the world…
With my camera…
As a storyteller, meeting nothing but beautiful souls along the way…
How in gods name can I not be the richest man in the world?…
~ Cristian
Some special mentions I have to make after this story. And if I forgot you. Don’t worry. You are indeed in my heart.
Victoria. Moly. Sandar. Natalia. Sai Arkar Min Tun. William. Marina. Manuela. Stephan. Leonard. Kaitlin. Nick. Lukas. Tyler. Luiza. James. Batman. Sky… My friends back-home. Tino & Alina. Wing. Eelco.
Without you nothing of this was possible.
*Note: Some photographs below. Working on these kind of projects is hard and is not free despite it is super cool to do. And also shooting analog makes it even more expensive and difficult. I still have to work on the side you know… I know my art is not affordable for everyone but there are so many way to support me. Share my name. Share a post or article. Buy a digital print which is cheaper. The options are endless. But please do not distribute my photographs without my consent. In the end when I have developed everything and the editing process will be done it will be up as a project and some handmade, high-end fine art prints will also be available.*
Some phone snaps…
Like I promised…
My feet are still tired… Writing this laying on my couch rolled up like a hamster ready for bed. Banging out this blog post that I have promised to you all.
But you have to forgive me. A lot has happened since I got back home. You know… Life… And all of it happened at the same time. Even squeezed in a couple of shoots and one of them was a lomography one.
But it is all for the greater good. Telling stories!
Heading straight for the coffee…
The time has come. Finally working again on my long term project “Neshama Sheli“. I was so happy yo be on the plane again.
As soon as I arrived I could not help myself my friend Issam. He has the best coffee house in the entire of country. I totally forgot it was Friday and that he is closed on Fridays. The stroopwafels I have brought him had to wait a day extra…
So that meant walking around Jerusalem until my feet hurt. That last part happened for sure since I walked 62KM in the first couple of days!
That does not seem much spread over a amount of time. But with all the hills up and down it was actually quite the walk.
Before I forget…
Since the reason why you have stumbled upon my blog probably is photography. Some of you might think it is interesting what stuff I have brought.
Well… That is easy. Not much…
Two bodies. One analog, one digital. The analog a Nikon FM2n. The digital, a Nikon D810.
I always prefer analog but sometimes digital is more practical.
Film, I bought that when I got there. The whole reason is that it is more practical and is also part of my research. The downside of that is that you have to do with what you find. I have found a lot of Kodak. That is not bad. I am a Ilford guy when it comes to Black and White. But I will never complain if Kodak Tri-X is the one that is available. And who cares in the end anyway. They both rule.
Oh, and only three lenses. Two 35mm’s. One Sigma Art for the D810. And a Nikon 35mm Nikon F1.8 ai. Also my Carl Zeiss 50mm.
This keeps it small. And even got room in my day pack for underpants and protein bars.
And in my opinion. If you can’t do it with one lens you need to be more proficient.
But enough about gear. It really is not important. It just does not need to break down and that is it. That does not mean I don’t love a beautiful camera. But getting your hours in and the reason why is way more important.
My why…
The first what I thought when I got back home was: Now I understand! Not the situation, but more the whole reason why some of my photographic heroes were working on a project for like ten years or something.
I guess that is also the whole reason why you “why” is so important. The “why“ is always important. Just to keep that perseverance to keep rocking when all your chips are down. Even Simon Sinek wrote his best selling book about that subject.
I do this because of: And fill in the blanks...
I frees my mind…
It gives my emotions a place…
I love him or her…
It gives me inner peace…
It is easy to do things when they are fun. But if you are in in for the long haul… Your “why” better be a good damn good one.
You still haven’t told me yours…
One of my favorite poets (Rumi) has a quote: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray” .
If you are following me for a while you know I do everything by gut feeling. But there is also a explainable part of this all…
Despite I am a social creature it also feels for me I am a little bit of an odd one. And fitting in is not really my thing, nor I feel I have ever did. I really don’t like stuff a lot of “normal“ people like. And I have the strangest urge to make sense out of that strange journey that is called life. If that makes any kind of sense at all…
So if I want to makes sense to any of it why not go to the region that is the origin of the three big modern religions… And so I did three years a go. It seemed like a good place to start.
Photography in the end is a search within yourself…
I never expected during the first time I went there it would become plenty of more times. Every country that I come I fall in love with. But somehow, this place…
The first time I stood in front of the western wall I even cried a little. And I am not even Jewish. I am as Dutch as I can be.
But also the Dome of the rock quiet down my ever going monkey mind. And the church of the holy sepulcher had certain calm.
So many stories… So many people… All of them with a why…
But there is more…
No worries… My passion of explaining things goes beyond Israel and the Palestinian territories. I want to see the whole world. And I have gotten quite far already.
The drive is bigger…
The world is an amazing place. And we can learn so much from each other. If we somehow get those stories across imagine where we can be! Colombia, Japan, Indonesia! It is all still on the list.
So many people to talk to… So much things to learn… And ergo, so many stories to tell…
I use photography as my medium.
So that is sort of my “why“…
Things I ran into…
It is so super interesting how being social differs from place to place all across the globe. The whole plan was to talk to as many people as possible instead of just doing random street photography. Because street photography alone just doesn’t cut it.
It is cool to do. Of course! But if you want to give your work more depth talking to people is the only way.
Well… That part is easier said than done. There are of course plenty of people. But in comparison to for example Vietnam or India, or Iran it was a bit more difficult to start a casual conversation. I had to work for it… In other countries people somehow automatically come to me. But in Jerusalem it was more like home. Other areas were more easy.
But was I satisfied when I got back home? Not not really… But like I said earlier… Now I understand why things take so long!
Not that I have not met some beautiful people. I did! If some of you will read the blog you know who you are.
The story continues…
I focused mainly around Jerusalem and Bethlehem again. This mainly because my train of thought was because of it was just after pesach (passover), Ramadan started, and memorial day was also happening. And most of the stories were hopefully developing around those places. Plus it is just a nice place to be and Jerusalem is centrally located to everywhere you want to go.
But I think next time I will roam around a bite more. Or rent a car or something.. I don’t know. That is stuff for future Cris.
Aida and Dheisheh refugee camp…
I was here last time too. And I could of course not be in the neighborhood without saying hello to my friend, Omar. He lives in the Dheisheh refugee camp and is an artist and musician.
I went though the same checkpoint as last year. The same one where I have written about last year (link here).
It has changed… A lot!
Checkpoint 300. Instead of going though a regular gate there is a building now where you have to go through. Still turnstiles. Still the cattle like exit. And still the annoying cab drivers in the end.
We chatted a lot. About life, love, girls, music… His car that he had to turn in because it was illegal. That story was a bit funny. Sorry man haha…
It is so interesting how much our lives differ and in so much aspects are so the same. For him the water truck comes once every thirty days if he is lucky… I can just open the tap. But still, we both like waffles and are afraid of spiders.
He also told me he started working out. Better have some gainz next time I am there bro!
At the graveyard…
Apparently we are not only afraid of spiders… He wanted to show a martyrs graveyard. And like the name says, it is a graveyard where the local martyrs are being buried.
We had to be quiet because there was a young woman mourning. Here brother was killed not that long ago. And every day she was there because she missed him a lot. This was one of the moments you have to put your camera away and just let someone be…
We wanted to give our tired feet some rest so we sat down on a bench, but a humongous queen bee suddenly showed up and we both yelled like little girls and ran off. That beast was enormous!
After we came to a safe distance we pretended the bee had nothing on. Like the young cool kids do…
Memorial Day…
My blog post has no structure at all this time. But hey… what can you do!
A couple of days later it was memorial day… There are quite some similarities with the memorial day we have in the Netherlands. We just have one siren and stay quiet for two minutes to remember the atrocities of the second world war, and the fallen since then. In Israel you have two sirens. Because it literally is a day. First one was the preceding evening at 20:00 and the second one at 11:00 in the morning…
The entire city and country stops what they are doing.
This was also one of my moments of getting back to reality. If you stay somewhere for a while things start to get normal.
My lasagna theory…
Earlier that week about 250+ rockets were fired from the Gaza strip, and it wasn’t on my mind already.
I dubbed this my lasagna theory. I like lasagna a lot! But if you every day it starts to get normal and it is not special anymore. You get used to it…
From my own country I am used to stop the car or motorbike on the side of the road and everyone is most of the time respectful… And what I do is I try to remember the people that are important to me that are no longer here. And say thank you.
It was this moment where you realize that I was in an area where not everyone could get along. Of course the Israeli - Palestinian conflict is still active and that’s the reason not everyone participated in the moment of silence. You can probably can guess the reason why.
It was a teaching moment for myself and made me more curious. Is it ever going to end? Will they ever get along? Will there ever be an end to the conflict? And what can we learn from all of this in the rest of the world?
But what now…
By now it is already three days later since I have started writing… The rain has started falling down. Thunder is coming. And there are plenty strips of film waiting for me to be printed… And the official project page needs to be updated. All the editing…
Believe me. I have plenty of anecdotes.
But writing long blog posts always leaves me with more questions. And I will write more on a later moment.
All I know is I had a great and interesting time again. And I have met some beautiful souls along the way. Bracha, Issam, they woman from television in Japan, Omar, Jared. The dudes from Japan. And all the other people I spoke to. Thanks for everything.
Jerusalem. I hope to see you soon again… You give me a home away from home…
Neshama Sheli. You are indeed important to me. You are a part of my soul…
One last thing…
One last thing that remains… Is figuring out what the band was I was dancing to at the Mahane Yehuda market in the evening… “Feel it in my brain“ and plenty of others songs. I danced my ass off! So if anyone has a clue… Please let me know! That song made me happy. :)
- Cristian
Andante…
Or in other words… Slow…
A musical term that means slow. And also the name of my portrait series.
I found it on the cover of an vinyl LP record I inherited from my father and the music on it was exactly how I felt. And even represents a side of me. Of course I have a happy side. But my other one is full of romance, love, sadness and melancholy. I embraced it and love it very much.
The name: Symphonie Espagnole, Op. 21 IV. Andante.
I wrote about it in an earlier blog post which you can find here.
Time…
For me it represents time… When you are doing something you like or love and are having a good time it flies by, and when you are going through hardship or have to wait for something it goes as slow as it can be. But time is only to spend once…
That’s why it is so valuable.
Reham…
This portrait series I just want to do by gut feeling. And that is how I choose the person I ask to photograph. I was thinking for a long time about whom I could make my second part of the series with. Than at one moment, I woke up in the morning I was thinking about Reham. I knew I wanted to photograph her for a long time but the puzzle pieces never connected until now.
Reham is a beautiful young soul of Palestinian descent that was born in Syria as a refugee but was unable to reuturn home. From Syria she went to Dubai, Lebanon, Egypt, and Turkey, before eventually ending up here in the Netherlands. Now studying computer science at one of the best universities of our country.
She is one smart cookie.
I’ve met her during a diner named “Diner voor gelukzoekers“ (Diner for fortune seekers) a couple of years a go hosted by Roos. The woman in the first version of this series. Everything is connected.
My process….
So how does that translate to my photography? Well… As you can see in the first one. It is full of people passing by as souls. And in this one… Trying to capture it. This through a medium of analog film instead of digital. A slower process of manual focusing and metering and developing it myself. Also, during that slowness I wanted to capture more…
I wanted to capture her power!
Her heart.
And eventually her soul…
A young powerful woman that is youthful and experienced at the same time. So after a couple of hours wandering through her hometown I think we succeeded. And during the editing process I ended up with four frames which I thought that would show everything perfectly.
What EI I shot it at or which film I used is not important. Except maybe that I always use Ilford for everything. With some exceptions of course. Other than that giving someone a safe space to open up is way more important.
The rest is not only film chemistry, but chemistry between you and the soul you are photographing.
So hereby…
So hereby. My second part of Andante - Portrait series of the soul.
- Cristian
Hey everyone!
Last Saturday I walked alongside thousands of inspirational women and men who support their cause for equal rights and so much more!
Of course I brought my camera’s and documented the day. Shot some digital. And shot some analog. And the scanning is still not done yet. But here is what I can share at this moment. And when the scanning is done I will either update this post or make a new one.
Hopefully my photographs can be of assistance to the path of equality…
- Cristian
Happy new year to you all!
First blog post of 2019. And let me start off by saying that I appreciate every single one of you that takes the time to read my articles.
Thinking in soundtracks…
I was supposed to write this earlier in the day but I had a severe case of procrastination and I finally bought magnum contact sheets. Than my monkey mind got tricked in by looking at my scans again because if all the master could make it look that beautiful back in the day. I should’t have a problem with all this modern equipment!
Well…
I actually don’t have too much problems with scanning. Except of those pesky Vietnam negatives. Did some tweaks on my more recent scans I took on an estate close by. And my self confidence was restored.
Yes! I did not suck as hard as I was thinking I was!
So with those tweaks. Got my Vietnam negatives in the scanner again. And they still are the same…
That triggered a track from the band Down - Learn from this mistake…
I always seem to think in lyrics or soundtracks or whatever if I do something. Don’t know why. But that is just how my brain works.
How it happened…
Everything went well actually! I found film in Ho Chi Minh. Got through customs with a hand check. In China as well as Vietnam. And got the film home safely.
Like I told you in the last blog post, the security officers treated me so nice. Hand checks were never that easy. So if you are a security agent at Chinese or Vietnamese customs. You are appreciated to treating this film photographer so nicely.
So I came home…
And being as excited as I always am I immediately got to work. Backed-Up all of my digital files. Threw the into Lightroom. And of I went.
Same goes for my analog shots…
I do all of the processing myself…
Processing yourself is way more fun than bringing it to a lab. And with the amount of rolls I have shot I am getting quite proficient in it.
You have so many advantages like, being more cost effective, in charge of your own quality, experimentation, magic. (Yes developing and printing analog film really is magic…)
But because I am so proficient my ego got the best of me…
I apparently had a jet-lag!
So that means I am human after all…
Into my dark bag I went…
I popped everything into my dark bag. Rolled the films on the spools. Got it in the Patterson tanks safely without light. That part… Went well… Like it should!
Than the developing started. Mixed my chemicals according to the massive dev chart.
BTW! I haven’t mentioned it in this article. But the film I just in Vietnam was Ilford PAN 400.
I love Ilford.
And unfortunately they did not have HP5+. Or at least I could’t find it…
Anyways. Back to the story…
What happened during developing is that because I was so tired and almost fell asleep I mixed up the order of the treatment. After I was done I have gotten in the fixer first and than the stop. It should be the other way around…
I still had and image but the grain was bigger and harsher, and there were some glows over the film. And weird other stuff.
I never would have have taken a risk normally. And especially not if it was work for a client. But somehow this one time I slipped up.
So why write about it?
So why write about it huh… Well. If everything went well in life we never would have gong any better. You need to indeed learn from your mistakes. Even if at the moment a situation doesn’t look import, in this case being tired. It would never make me a better developer. Or a photographer!
Also appreciation…
We are so lucky now with all the digital stuff. Writing this article with Magnum contact sheets next to me gives me the realization how much of a craftsman all of them were, and are.
We all hopefully know that a good photograph is not made by the camera. Even if you have the most advanced device ever. And that thing in your pocket is no slough either. You still need vision and creativity to make an image. Composition is everything…
But I am more trying to say is that everyone in that book, or even wasn’t in that book was so more aware of what they were doing. Craftsmanship and thinking things though were the order of the day. While the internet now is complaining about no dual memory card slots in the new Nikon Z1, they just had one roll. And for 36 exposures the same set ISO (ASA). And after that when it got send back, it was all in the hands of the gods. Than a lab technician came into play. The list goes on and on…
A bit more technical…
If you are curious how I developed it…
My recipe for this bunch was:
Rodinal 1 to 50.
Ilford Ilfostop 1 to 19.
Ilford Rapid Fixer 1 to 4.
Developing time 24 minutes since I pushed the Ilford PAN 400 to 1600. All of that on 20 degrees Celsius.
I always love to push my film. And this time I chose Rodinal. Other times I use Ilford DDX. Actually. That is now my preferred developer…
And now for the photographs…
Cris! They look like crap! Well… Yes, if they would have looked pretty this story would have been a lot shorter haha. They are shot on a Nikon FM2n with a 50mm f 1.6 AI. 50mm is totally not my focal length… But it is what it is. My 35mm was on my digital one. And I always travel minimal. But I immediately got my hands as soon as I got home on a new old 35mm AI that will replace the 50mm.
For comparison. There are some later developed photographs. Same method. Only not screwing up.
But now… A few minutes later when I am looking at them again they actually are not that bad. At least aesthetically. But you have to ignore the tint shifts and other weird spots you see haha. And I seem to have a memory they looked worse when they came out than they look now.
Here there Vietnam photographs. (Navigate by pressing the buttons on side).
As you can see there are spots and tint shifts. The inversion process was like always. Smooth. And right on time.
Same process. But not get the order wrong. Images are way more clearer and sharper.
Conclusion.
People say that black and white is the most forgiving format to develop. And is less prone to mistakes. Of course they are right in comparison to color film. But that does not mean they are bulletproof.
You still need to get your hours in and fine tune you whole process.
Take your time…
You only have one shot with your negatives. So give them the attention they need…
I woke up this morning...
Thank god...
Because I like waking up!
The smell of incense was still hanging around from last nights meditation... Sun was a shining a bit on my face because I left the curtains a bit open... And my mind went to photography again...
Because I like photography...
Cup of coffee was made... Went back to bed... And turned on my iPad...
Grateful...
In comparison to most parts of the world where I travel to, people don't have the luxury waking up like this...
I started watching "The many lives of William Klein." and Daido Moriyama's "Near Equal.". If you aren't familiar with those photographers go look them up! And make that your main task today...
I let my mind wander... Thinking... Always thinking...
Because I like thinking...
And my monkey mind is always jumping from one place to the other. In this case to a quote from another legend, Elliot Erwitt. "Digital Manipulation kills photography".
Altough I don't completely agree. Because photographs have always been manipulated! Either in the darkroom or in the digital darkroom that is stationed on your computer.
He does have a point!
My monkey mind was going insane again. But it ain't all that bad...
Because I like my monkey mind...
How does Instagram fit into all of this? And what is Instagram actually? And what if William Klein was born when Instagram existed? or Daido Moriyama?
Valid questions... But more so. It gave me also the opportunity to think about the way how the general public uses Instagram. Or any other piece of social media. Or hell! Even how we treat everyday life.
As where I stand now the platform itself is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Let me elaborate on that.
The positives are quite big actually. It gives any person in the world the opportunity to get their message out there. Either it is music, art, views, or whatever. It can help you build a audience that you otherwise would not have. The whole world at your fingertips! As long as you have a internet connection and a phone or a computer.
Awesome right?
The downside is... Well... us... The people...
Wait wut? What do you mean Cristian!?!?
Well like a lot of things in life it has become more of a popularity contest. We as a species at this moment, and yes I am realizing I am generalizing heavily now, seem to have to attention span of a goldfish! Actually I believe that science already proved that it is even less now...
We choose to get triggered by stuff that is catchy. We see it in our politics, how we communicate with each other, or we rather take a pill to lose weight than change our diet. And even rather send a text than have a telephone conversation because it is scary...
Same goes for art and Instagram.
For me a great photograph is something that you have to analyze... You can lose yourself into... Let yourself escape from reality... Or experience reality more vivid... It is really one big visual story one way or the other. Either it is the traveling tales of Steve McCurry or being in some sort of photographic version of the horror movie the ring and a playboy magazine with Daido's work.
And how does that translate to a medium like Instagram?
Well no worries I will come to that. Life is one big story! And...
Because I like telling stories...
Well, look closely how you scroll through your feed? Maybe another assignment for today?
I goes something like this....
Scroll scroll scroll, Like , Scroll, Like, Comment, Scroll scroll...
And all of that in a couple of seconds...
Did you actually see some of the photographs?
Or did you just got triggered by something catchy?
Would you have the same behavior if you go through a Steve McCurry book?
I think it is a good question to ask yourself. Especially if you consider yourself a photographer, a artist, or just a art lover in general.
That does not mean there isn't a time and a place for the platform. I discovered some amazing photographers who made the platform their own. But it creates some sort of unexplainable distance between one type of photographer and the other. You even got a term "Instagram photographer". Like that a person that uses the platform apparently in a efficient form isn't a real photographer?
I don't know...
I think photographers that both are on the platform and are not on the platform or maybe less successful on it, are photographers. So hmmmm it can be part of my conclusion...
All I know is I don't like trends... And most of my photographic heroes where from a time that it did not exist. I don't like cropping. Don't like shitty small screens but I do like to print my photographs big. And I don't like it when we fall in the trap of instant gratification. Either it is enjoying art or interacting with humans...
Because I like art and I like humans...
And do we have to copy all the big accounts all the time?
On the other hand I also do realize that times always change. And you either adapt or you die out. And change is good. Altough not always... But sometimes.
And a picture is a picture. It does not matter what tool you use. So should that also count for the medium we use how to show it to the world?
But what I do believe is that whatever medium we use. We do need to stop, and appreciate the art for what it is. Give ourselves the time to enjoy it. Stop a bit longer at the photograph you like and stop scrolling, or walking, or turning the pages...
Enjoy it for what it is.... A story...
Food for thought...
Speaking about food... I am going to have a bite....
Because I like food...
Have a nice weekend you all...
- Cristian
Couple of day a go ...
Woke up... Made some very nice fresh coffee... Read some news...
Than the doorbell rang!
It was the package delivery service. I knew there was something on it's way. I just won a old vintage Scott receiver at a online auction. So I expected that one... But surprised as I could be, the delivery guy had two packages for me!
The receiver was all cool and stuff. But as soon as I noticed the second package and saw the stamps on the envelop I knew what it was.
It was my copy of the magazine I got published in from Iran!
Mehdi, the creator of the magazine contacted me a while a go if he could use one of my photographs I took in the Nasir Al-Mulk mosque in Shiraz. To be specific, it was the one with the lady with the gown.
I agreed and some time went by. He said to me he would send me a copy. But with the whole embargo thing going on I didn't expect anything. Maybe the government would hold it or something. I don't know.
But it arrived!
So screw the amp!
I guess I don't have to tell how cool it is to see your work published. Let alone in a magazine in Iran. But a little hint. Getting a magazine out there goes a little bit different over there than here in the west and is a bit more difficult.
Mehdi did a beautiful job and the magazine is about arts and culture. I even got the cover!
He translated some articles for me. And even within the package he included some prints of his province where he lives. Borujerd...
Of course it would be amazing to be on the cover of National Geographic one day... But this... man... I guess for me it is even way cooler.
Anyways! It made me very happy!
I put some photos below if you want to have a look.
P.S.
The receiver is awesome too. Listening to my records while I am writing...
Dear friends!
I was so busy with everything that I forgot to wright a blog post. And to tell you all a super exciting update!
My Souls of Iran work is now available as a two part Zine!
I am so happy with this. I can't describe it into words. But I will try it anyway haha.
And yes, I know I know, I should write more... I'm working on that!
I wanted to to make a book at first. But I got really inspired by a special about zines. Or zeenes...
The origin of Zines is rooted in Sc-Fi, Punk, and Photography sub-cultures. It was, and is used to self publish their work or their own ideas and spread them around there scene or the world.
And with me being a photographer and still have a lot of rebel in me left from when I was a little Cris, it seemed like a better idea.
The book was actually already done. The spell check was back, had some people look it over and review it whom I hold in high regard. And I was good to go!
Until I was watching a episode of Ted Forbes's YouTube channel "The art of Photography"... Btw, if you are really into photography it is a awesome channel to follow. It brings the art back into photography.
Anyway! I was so inspired! So I decided to sort of re-work it into a Zine format.
Making a version of a4 size paper stapled together was maybe a bit to rebellious for the way I wanted to present my photographic work from Iran I decided to go with the most used self publishing service out there named blurb. Blurb is a very cool platform for everyone who is trying to get his or her work out there and offers incredible quality and services.
I also made the creative decision to split my work up into two parts. Isfahan & Shiraz, and Yazd & Tehran. It seemed more fitting. And that way I think the focus is more on the photographs instead of the volume of pages.
And in this day and age I think that was the best fitting way to present it. Everything is already in bulk. If for example you look at Instagram. I don't now how long people look at a photograph. But it is way to short... I guess that is the reason why I like physical prints so much. You have something real...
Another factor was price.
My fine art prints are expensive as they are. They are of course worth every euro. But it is still a fair amount of money. And I wanted to make something that is more accessible for everyone. A book would cost around 70,- euros. And the Zines are 20,- and 15,- euros. So that is a big difference.
Small side-note. Every cent and euro make it possible for me to continue my photographic journey and tell the story world. And makes new future projects possible. So it is a big support!
The end result you can see below. And yes, it makes me very proud!
Like I said before. It feels good to see your work in physical form. And hopefully all of you like it just as much as I do!
If you are interested you can order it through here or just click on the shop and than Zines menu item.
