Hey all!
One of my projects is featured on the website of Artdoc magazine.
Go check it out!
You can find it here. :)
Photo Stories
Dear future Cris... A birthday letter... To me...
Dear future Cris…
By the time you will read this probably another 38 years have passed. Or maybe even another 380... Who knows... Times are strange at this current moment when I am writing this to you...
Or even more. One of the strangest birthdays ever…
There is a thing going on named Covid-19. You really hated that period remember..
I am writing you this letter for a couple of reasons… And in the meantime you are listening to some Fleetwood Mac. If you have forgot about them. It is an amazing band… Go put it on.
One of reasons is: Stop doubting yourself…
I know life can be tough sometimes and you have been through a lot but you are a wonderful man. Sometimes someone even calls you super Cris. And that is all you have ever wished for…
I know that doubt is strange and new to you because you have always followed your heart. And you just did things. This will be also your guide for the rest of your upcoming years too. That is your superpower. And your heart is humongous.
So keep it beating proudly.
And although not everyone will understand you. You understood me, and I understand you. So it will be fine. You will be fine…
You are the master of my faith. I am the master of your Soul…
Your father loves you…
At the moment you are writing this letter you have started a project about your father and you are now a couple of months in. At some points that was very confronting but you are mentally just as strong as physically. You are doing a wonderful job and hopefully it will be the gateway to wonderful new opportunities. I am sure when you read this back years in the future you will say it was the perfect way of honoring your father and your grandfathers…
Dare to cry again…
You know this Cris! It is one of your life lessons that you always share with others. That strength lies in daring to be vulnerable.
But sometimes you forget…
There will always be people that leave without saying goodbye…
And you will say; I don’t cry!
I am a grownup now…
But you know this. Whatever challenges lie ahead of you. Or whatever friendship, loved ones, or relationships you will gain or lose. It is part of life…
There is no reason to only let that bluebird in your heart out at night and let it sing when nobody sees it. Let that bird sing like it has never sang before. And it deserves to have an audiance.
Nothing is under control except for your own thoughts…
You are 76 around now and hopefully having your morning coffee with the love of your life.
And if that is your soulmate or that Hasselblad you just gave yourself as a birthday present that doesn’t matter.
Don’t be so hard on yourself…
Marcus Aurelius already wrote about this in meditations. You are nothing more than your own thoughts… And you think that the only way to achieve your dreams is to be your own hardest critic. But there are more ways to do this and you will get there…
Probably you are already there…
And if not…
Just never give up…
Ain’t nothing to it but to do it…
And even more so… What is life, if you don’t dream anymore?
Catch that train of opportunities and sail instead of row…
Speaking about dreams…
I hope you found more insights about those nighttime dreams of yours…
If you ever did find out please let me know!
I want to know why I have Dragon Ball Z hands…
Photograph like you are writing a song or a poem…
Some say that when you get older that you are not as passionate anymore… But knowing you that will never disappear. You have been daydreaming since you were a little kid and creating you own world in your thoughts… So why quit now?
Also one of the insights you had during 2020 was to make your photographs more like a song and a poem in one.
An old man can dance in the living room too. Or listen to Satie or Slayer.
Duane Michals, Trent Parke, Khalil Gibran, or one of your Sufi poets like Rumi…
Hafez…
Jacques Brel and Edith Piaf…
It will be a wonderful, wonderful mess…
A complicated mess.
But it is your mess so it is beautiful…
Time is running out…
Not only in life but also for this letter. But you have learned this lesson at a young age. So you live your life accordingly.
You only have a minute…
With only sixty seconds in it.
Forced upon me, can’t refuse it.
Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it.
But it’s up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it.
Give account if I abuse it.
Just a tiny little minute,
but eternity is in it…
That is not yours by the way in case you have gotten senile. It is written by: Dr. Benjamin E. Mays.
So…
So happy birthday my main man…
I hope you will have a wonderful day.
And even many many many years from now you will have even a richer heart.
And also a nicer beard…
Happy Birthday Future Cris…
It will all be fine.
And remember… Love yourself a little bit more. Do your squats. Drink your beers and take your photographs.
Cheers buddy!
From your friend in the present and future and everything in between.
Even in another dimension in time and space…
Kind regards,
Cristian Geelen
P.S. If you like my work and my stories but the regular ways to support me like buying my photographs are not a option for you at this moment. You can always support me through a donation with the donation button.
Diary entry during a pandemic once forgotten... The death of my father... And a flying snowman...
The radio is on…
At least that what we have said years and years ago… But it is just regular old Spotify. No LP’s today.
Fairuz is playing. She is a Lebanese singer which I have just discovered this morning. What a beautiful voice she has. It reminded me of more beauty that I know, so I send it to her…
It also reminded me that I needed to write a little bit again. A sort of a update. Or a story. A glimpse of my mind. A question. A observation. Or maybe all of the above… Just look at it as a diary entry…
Unfortunately writing blog posts is not as romantic as writing a journal. And years and years after I have died my journal is the thing most likely to be found. And not my blog.
Does it matter anyway?
Everything matters…
All of it. All the little bits and pieces in between matter. I love writing. And who knows who is reading this and is interested what goes on in the mind of a artist.
I think I am not really made for creating YouTube videos. And if I would ever do that. I think it is way more important to talk about the art and philosophy of photography instead of gear. And that is all what you see nowadays. Anyways, writing seems just more fitting for me.
So here it is. More writing. Are you ready for the copious amount of text?
I sure am…
Writing sometimes takes me days though. And I don’t know how many days it will take me to finish this story. You can guess more than a few…
There once was a pandemic…
If I look outside the world almost looks like normal again but strangely it isn’t… Borders are opening up in Europe which is nice. So will it be finally time for me to take another trip? I hope so… But where will it be… I want to work more on my current projects. Or maybe even start a new one in a place where I have never gone before. Traveling I miss so much! That is no secret… The places where I want to go are outside of Europe. And they are either still in lock-down now. Or not taking any visitors.
Just be patient, Cris. It will be fine…
Although as a individual I am not afraid of the virus. There are still many things to take into account though.
But again… As I look outside…. The world seems normal again…
But it isn’t…
There is still a pandemic going on…
Do we ever learn…
The pandemic did made me realize it was finally time to start a photo essay about my father. But if you want to read more about that… You need to read just a little bit more of this story.
So in a way “I” learned. Finally a project which I really care about back-home. Finally a project back-home that I love.
And like I always say: Love is the one thing one needs to succeed. And it doesn’t matter what it is… If there is no love. It will not succeed.
But when I look around me. And when I observe as what photographers are supposed to do. Unfortunately I see a lack of love.
That sounds dark. But life is dark. Without darkness there cannot be light. But no worries. I will end with some happiness in the end… Well… Sort off…
It is the ying to the yang. Or the, as above to the, so below.
Countless and countless of humans still chose the life in between. Old patterns. Afraid to take chances. And trying to clinch on to the old.
It should have been a teachable moment….
One would think that something as humongous as a global pandemic would made as change the way we are. But saying it like a Dutch man. We hebben geen reet geleerd. (We didn’t learn shit.).
Still always in a hurry…
You can see it by the traffic lights. It is a prime example how to deal with things. Not waiting for the green. Because one thinks that he or she is so special it doesn’t apply to them.
The human ego what constructs that is also responsible for more extreme things. Because it is always looking to bend it a little bit more…
In the end it is responsible of war and famine. Injustice and racism. And even the whole cancel culture which I despise to the core, is a result of it.
Why do we keep hurting ourselves…
So is the human ego to blame for it all? I don’t know… I philosophize about it a lot. And it also seems that patterns are a big part of it.
Patterns. Nature… Nurture…
It is the reason I guess why people keep stuck in relationships that doesn’t give them happiness. Or keep doing their dead-end job. It is safe. It is everything one knows…
And change is scary…
Yes. Even for me…
And even more so. Change hurts…
A lot!
A pandemic should be the catalyst to finally make the changes we need. From a micro level in ones personal life. To a macro level for the entire globe.
There is some change going on as you can see with all the protest because of the death of George Floyd. But will it be enough? I hope so. But you also see that with every movement there are a lot of people being taken advantage of. Or being used as puppets for another agenda. But that is something that has been going on forever and noticed since I have been studying history books.
Let’s just hope it is all enough. But the main thing is one needs to discover nuance. Life I guess is a lot like Ilford Delta 400. Between black and white there are so many different shades of grey…
Life should be like a movie…
I wish everyone the happiness they deserve in their lives. Whatever that means for them. And the hopeless romantic in me, if he had a magic wand. He would give it to everyone around the globe… I would wave with my wand and say: Hope you find your soulmate. Or smoke your cigar on that yacht if that is your thing. Or ride your motorcycle. Or find that special coffee. Or supermarkets without lines. Or your cabana at the beach.
But that is not how it works…
You are responsible for your own happiness. And that takes a lot courage…
Years and years ago. Or maybe even when I was a little kid I decided for myself that my life deserves to be like a movie. I always had a overactive imagination. I love that so much in me. Is that a weird thing to say? But yes, it indeed involved finding the love of my life. Traveling the world. And telling amazing tales…
So would that be the cure for the world? Living your life like in the movies?
A horror movie would not be a good idea though haha. Just make it a nice one…
But will you promise me to take that chance?
Life is too short not to.
Don not fade away…
Cris! Will you finally tell the part about the project of your dad!
Calm down… Calm down…
It is my story… My journal… My movie…
So behind this keyboard. Or with my pen or camera. I make the rules…
A flying snowman…
So here it goes…
I had a conversation with my sister a couple of weeks back. And we came to the conclusion that we have nothing left of our father. The reason of that I will keep that to myself. But it was heartbreaking for me and my sister nonetheless.
So I had a idea when I was taking a shower. And the idea was that this story could be like a movie too! And I knew the perfect one…
Ever since I was little I was fascinated with a short movie of a flying snowman. Literally called “The Snowman“. I linked the name to the Wikipedia page. And here is a link to the clip of the song “Walking in the air“.
I think most of you who are around my age and grew up in my part of the world are familiar with this song. You may not know it by title. But I bet as soon as you hear the first words you will remember it instantly.
It is the story about a little boy who meets a snowman and goes on a amazing adventure in the night. And flies aaaaalllll over the snowy country side… Meets his snowman friends and plenty of more creatures. But when he wakes up the next morning…
His best friend in the world…. Melted…
The most toughest task ahead…
My father died when I was three years old. I do not have many memories of him. I remember his funeral and how his casket disappeared into the ground vividly. But despite not having to many memories, in my imagination he was my best friend in the world.
So I am creating the memories I have never had with him. We go on a adventure and meet also plenty of beautiful creatures.
It is going to be very conceptual so that is totally new for me. And therefore a challenge. But I am sure I will succeed because it is made out of love. Also it is going to be a very emotional project for me. But that is good. Some parts of me still need to heal. And confronting it is the only way.
And of course it couldn’t be anything else then a adventure. I mean, all of my fathers. My father and my grandfathers were all adventurers. And so am I!
It is going to take a while…
When will it be done… I don’t know… Good photographic projects take a while. And nowadays people think a project that takes three months is long… I can tell you, that is not long… Salgado or Peter Beard would not shy away from years and years of work…
In the world of instant gratification the long term photographic essay seems forgotten. But it is the only way to make a piece of art that will last for generations ahead.
So it will be done when it is done. And when that time has come I will share it with the world. Some people close to me may see sketches. But that is it.
Isn’t it exciting to see a project when it is done instead of all the updates or shots on Instagram? The surprise we be bigger that way. It makes you stare longer at a photograph. Otherwise it will be lost in the abyss in a second… Because it is not new anymore…
Art is made to be experienced in real life anyway…
And maybe…. Just maybe….
Life is to be experienced in real life anyway….
A end to a story… For now that is…
I like drama. I like dramatic movies… Or books… Or music…
The whole feeling of melancholy gives a experience of a beautiful suffering.
I will link the Fairuz songs at the bottom of the post plus one bonus. And two photographs.
But how to end…
To keep it full of drama… A while back I finished a book named “The Memory Police“ bu Yoko Ogawa. She is a amazing writer. And if you don’t like spoilers don’t read further… Because this story may sort of end the same way…
Me. Cristian Geelen… Sitting here with his laptop… Camera next to him.
Writing about love and life… A pandemic…
And slowly he disappears…
First his hands… Than his nose…
His arms and legs…
His lips and his eyes followed…
Until there is nothing left but his voice and his camera…
And even that…
Is what the wind took away…
~ Cristian
The song of Fairuz I was talking about.
This one is bonus because I think it is super beautiful too.
Mini me and my awesome doggie name Ricky. He would protect me from all the evil in the world.
Adult me with his trusty Nikon. Able to squat a horse and about to rip his pants again. Waiting until he can go on adventures…
Andante - Portrait series of the soul. No 2. - Reham
Andante…
Or in other words… Slow…
A musical term that means slow. And also the name of my portrait series.
I found it on the cover of an vinyl LP record I inherited from my father and the music on it was exactly how I felt. And even represents a side of me. Of course I have a happy side. But my other one is full of romance, love, sadness and melancholy. I embraced it and love it very much.
The name: Symphonie Espagnole, Op. 21 IV. Andante.
I wrote about it in an earlier blog post which you can find here.
Time…
For me it represents time… When you are doing something you like or love and are having a good time it flies by, and when you are going through hardship or have to wait for something it goes as slow as it can be. But time is only to spend once…
That’s why it is so valuable.
Reham…
This portrait series I just want to do by gut feeling. And that is how I choose the person I ask to photograph. I was thinking for a long time about whom I could make my second part of the series with. Than at one moment, I woke up in the morning I was thinking about Reham. I knew I wanted to photograph her for a long time but the puzzle pieces never connected until now.
Reham is a beautiful young soul of Palestinian descent that was born in Syria as a refugee but was unable to reuturn home. From Syria she went to Dubai, Lebanon, Egypt, and Turkey, before eventually ending up here in the Netherlands. Now studying computer science at one of the best universities of our country.
She is one smart cookie.
I’ve met her during a diner named “Diner voor gelukzoekers“ (Diner for fortune seekers) a couple of years a go hosted by Roos. The woman in the first version of this series. Everything is connected.
My process….
So how does that translate to my photography? Well… As you can see in the first one. It is full of people passing by as souls. And in this one… Trying to capture it. This through a medium of analog film instead of digital. A slower process of manual focusing and metering and developing it myself. Also, during that slowness I wanted to capture more…
I wanted to capture her power!
Her heart.
And eventually her soul…
A young powerful woman that is youthful and experienced at the same time. So after a couple of hours wandering through her hometown I think we succeeded. And during the editing process I ended up with four frames which I thought that would show everything perfectly.
What EI I shot it at or which film I used is not important. Except maybe that I always use Ilford for everything. With some exceptions of course. Other than that giving someone a safe space to open up is way more important.
The rest is not only film chemistry, but chemistry between you and the soul you are photographing.
So hereby…
So hereby. My second part of Andante - Portrait series of the soul.
- Cristian
Women's March 2019
Hey everyone!
Last Saturday I walked alongside thousands of inspirational women and men who support their cause for equal rights and so much more!
Of course I brought my camera’s and documented the day. Shot some digital. And shot some analog. And the scanning is still not done yet. But here is what I can share at this moment. And when the scanning is done I will either update this post or make a new one.
Hopefully my photographs can be of assistance to the path of equality…
- Cristian
Ilford HP5+ at box speed, a Nikon FM2n, and a people in yellow vests...
I fell in love…
I was waiting for my package and the mailman app made me even more excited because that notified me it would be delivered today…
And with today I mean last Saturday, December first.
The package contained a something special. At least for me… I wanted to have this camera for a long time. And faith decided that it was time for me to acquire one.
The camera? A Nikon FM2n.
It arrived in perfect condition so I was good to go! The plan is to take it with me to Vietnam. But I had to be sure there weren’t any light leaks. I mean, light leaks aren’t a problem, but I don’t have any time left to fix it before I go.
Luckily there was another demonstration going on in the Netherlands. So it was the perfect testing ground for my new beauty.
Developing
I develop my own film. So a day after I hopped in the kitchen and made my delicious rodinal soup to develop me some Ilford HP5+.
BTW! I will dedicate a later blog post solely on developing black and white film. I think it is some interesting stuff to share.
After that. Scanning began! And indeed! No light leaks!
Below are the shots. The first bunch is of the Nikon FM2n. And the later ones are digital shots taken with my Nikon D810.
Nikon FM2n
Nikon D810
Make A Wish...
Hey everyone,
Two weeks a go I was privileged to be part of such an beautiful day with a lot of beautiful people.
It was the day the wish was granted for a lovely little woman named Emma by the Make-A-Wish foundation.
The Make-A-Wish foundation is a organization that makes a hearts wish come true of children from the ages of three to eighteen. All the information about the organization you can find here. And if you can support the organization in one way or the other please do. They need all the help they can get. They have such a beautiful mission.
Her wish was they she could have a froze themed day, and learn how to photograph from a real photographer and have a photo shoot at the same time together with her sister. She and her sister and parents got picked up in the morning by u giant pink limousine.
After that, it was off to get dressed in some beautiful dresses and having a nice big piece of pie. After the pie make-up and hair was done. After that it was on their way to Castle Warmelo.
At that moment I joined the day.
Horses were ridden. We walked through the Castle gardens. Cameras were explained. And a lot of smiles were seen. Which made me very happy.
Normally my stories are longer. But a photograph always says more than a thousand words. So I have chosen five of my favorite photographs of the day which you can see below.
Thank you so much I could be part of the special day and share the day with your wonderful family. And of course thank you that I could write and share a little story about it.
Five things I learned about (Life) going to Jerusalem the second time...
Need to make money...
Need to get my motorbike fixed...
Need to do this and that...
F##ck...
April 8th 2018...
Three weeks has passed since my last blog post. And it is incredible how easy you get sucked in everyday life again...
There is never a better moment than now, but in this case and the mindset I have at the moment. It feels more right than ever to write the second part of the five things I learned series.
This one, the second one, is about life!
Sometimes it is so easy as photographer to get stuck in the technical crap that involves photography. But we tend to forget that photography is about life. It is a art form meant to capture life. And it is the only machine we really have to capture life in it's purest form. A bundle of emotion captured in one frame beamed onto your screen or printed on your paper and for you to reminisce. Like a real life time machine in the palm of your hand...
Of course the blog posts are not for photographers only but everyone that loves following my adventures and mind farts. That's why most of my blog posts are more philosophical and about art than gear or tech related stuff.
I use my art to tell stories. About the world, life, but it is also my critique to society. A way I know to let my mind wander and try to make sense of all the stuff that is going on in my head... And even a way try to make sense of the madness we call life....
My photography brings me a lot. And most of the time to places and moments. And because I use it to make sense of all of it it schools me too. Sometimes I realize I am right, sometimes I realize that I am wrong, and sometimes it raises even more questions...
So what does all of this have to do with my second trip to Jerusalem?
I will come to that... No worries...
I guess it is also very easy to fall into the political trap because of the city of Jerusalem. And because of that I will keep my views unbiased. I am a observer. And this article about the lessons I have learned. As a person... And not about someone that needs to do this or that...
So here we go!
- We are all human...
I put this one first but it was the last one I wrote...
I think it is because this one is the hardest to explain of them all...
At one point I was having coffee in the old city. And at another moment I was going through a checkpoint and walking around in a 400m2 area where about 15000 humans live. That is a experience...
The "funny" thing is. I had many similarities with Omar. My guide through the camps. We talked about life there. Life where I am from. And everything in between. He is a talented artist. Seems to make most of the situation.
A moment later I had a call with my Israeli friend Chana which I was supposed to meet. But her car broke down and she couldn't make it. But she felt so bad... She was engaged to be married and wanted to tell me all about it. And I didn't see her for two years so it was the perfect moment to catch up. But fate decided otherwise...
Despite all of our differences we are so similar as human beings...
We all share the same emotions about love, life and death, living and caring...
It gave me a good sense of direction I want to go with my art and passion projects. We are all one... Let's finally understand that...
- Work hard, but don't rush...
I already mentioned this in my previous blog post in the part take your time. But I want to get into it a little bit deeper.
Good things come to those who work hard. And that is the absolute truth! Of course there are setbacks. But working hard also involves not giving up.
The big trap is rushing.
And I fell for it...
There is thing called Street Zen and the first time I heard about it was on a podcast by Eric Kim.
I guess the whole trick is to find that Street Zen! I wanted to do too much. And I rushed and I rushed. Sometimes forced and sometimes self inflicted. We all know we as humans can be our worst enemy.
Street Zen is a real thing. And you can apply it to everything in I guess and call it being in the zone. Ah well...
If you want to deliver quality find you Zen. Take your time. Know your intent for the photograph. And go with the flow.
Rushing never did anyone any good. Same as sitting on your ass.
- Find your own truths...
When I was a little kid we had a game in class named "I ga op vakantie en ik neem mee". It roughly translates: I will go on holiday and take with me... It is a game to see if the first person that tells something, will it still be the same if it reaches the end...
Real life information tends to do the same...
Taking up a project, a passion project or a normal one, or just regular travel. You need to do some research. Some of it comes to word by mouth. Some of it goes by the news or books. Or the internet. Or even better. The lonely planet!
Wonderful!
But I have experienced now numerous times that when I arrive it was different than I imagned.
Iran was not full of terrorists...
The Tsjech republic does not have nice beer... (Sorry...)
And Israelis and Palestinians can be friends...
Wait whuuut? What did I just say!?
The last thing I watched on the news was all of the violence that happened during the return march. And of course all the stuff that you read about in the papers. And not to speak of about social media...
I've seen Israeli soldiers taking photographs of a Palestinian father and son. Arab making small talk with Jews. And little kids having fun in the streets...
Somehow the whole situation seemed less tense than the first time I was there. And although I came there to work on my photography I had a great time. Yes haha, you can have fun and work at the same time...
So always find out your own truth. Hell, even doubt this blog... Just go out and explore yourself. It is way more fun anyway.
And that counts for everything. A camera review. A song you hear in the radio. A certain restaurant that a travel guide says you have to visit! Or not! And than it turns out is is the worst or best experience ever... And even the news...
- We all have our own shit...
Sometimes I tend to forget that. The part that we are all human... When you have seen a lot and have een trough a lot it is so easy to say: yeah we in the west have forgotten to be happy and we are spoiled to the bone... Especially if you experience the Israeli and Palestinian conflict sort of up close...
And for a big part it is true...
Yes, I just said that...
In a big way with all the wealth that we have we fell into the a giant trap that we have forgotten what is most important in life. And we make a fuzz about trivial shit.
That does not mean that we do not have our own problems. Because we do have. Because of all of those traps certain other issues arise. Mental health issues, disassociation, a rising gap between rich and poor. Even global warming! Rising suicide rates...
Actually all of this is nothing new.
Everybody knows it...
And I am about to hit the point I am trying to make. So hold on!
I think the lesson I have learned is not being so judgmental. Actually because of all of those thoughts I just mentioned. Yes! I was judgmental. And it is good for your art to wind yourself up about something.
But it was to easy for me to get angry at the woman who tried to park her bicycle into my motorbike because she said; "Well as long as I can park my bike here than I will be fine. I don't care about anybody else..." just the day after I got home. And yell at her: You don't know how good we have it here! Be grateful!
I need to wind myself up the same amount about the stuff back home as I do with all the other stuff that is happening in the world.
Why?
Well because like I said earlier. We are all human. And as long we don't understand ourselves and each other. We will never see any progress and all the bad shit will continue to happen everywhere.
Who knows what the woman has been trough.
Be a possitive exapmle...
That at least is my two cents...
- Never rest...
This entire trip lit a bigger fire in me than ever. I am not used to giving up. And I am sure as hell more than ever determined I will make it was a photographer and story teller.
I mentioned not sitting on your (mine) ass never did anybody good. And it is the honest truth. It is something I took from sports. I you want something go and get. Never give up. And put in the work. All those Gary Vee posts are all about that. You know the drill... Don't expect to reach a target if you hang out on the beach or go out for drinks. Although relaxation is important too. Get your priorities straight...
The here and the now is this life. One life... And I have to fan the flames of what my soul puts on fire... So Rumi was right after all...
At first all of this seems to have nothing to do with photography. But believe me it does... It is a art form despite it does not seem like it in this day and age. If you want to make a beautiful portrait of someone you still have to see the artistic and human side of things. Otherwise you will never capture the essence of that human being. Same goes for architecture or landscape.
If you do your photography with your soul it will all work out and it will show in your work...
And like I said earlier. It does not only count for photography but for everything.
Just put your soul into things... Work, art, friends, family, your partner...
Btw! I named the project "Neshame Sheli". It means roughly translated: You are important to me. You are a part of my soul... And that is how I feel about my photographs and telling stories. Hopefully it shows and you see that too...
- Cristian
Five things I learned about (Photography) going to Jerusalem the second time...
Hey all!
I am currently really busy with the processing of all of my material of my latest trip to Israel and the Palestinian territories. But that is a long process and when it is all done I want to write a big article about it. And find a proper way to present it to the world.
Until that time arrives I will write short blog posts like this to keep the information and sort of involve you all in a bit of my process.
So this piece part one of a two part piece with five things I have learned during or after my latest trip to Jerusalem and the Palestinian territories.
First one is about photography. The second one is about life.
So let's start!
Part one: Photography...
Like I said. Currently I am in the process of working through all of the material I made and that is just something that takes time... A lot of time!
In short. I took around 1100 photographs and I am editing them at the moment. Part of that process is also voicing visually the intent of the photograph. And ultimately after all the editing is done the post processing start.
Of the approximately 1100 photographs there are only a few that will make the cut and want to share with the world.
During that process which is not even done. I ran into a lot of issues. Not everyone shares that stuff. But I am a big believer in that running into problems or even failing is a big part of getting better. It's a rule you can apply to everything in life...
Same goes for photography!
And the whole trick after the whole failing or running into issues thingie. Is that you just don't give up! Get back on the horse and just go go go!
Learn from it. Feed from it... Grow from it!
Btw I am not only summing up stuff that went bad. It's also good to reflect on stuff that went well, or even good! Because also that is a good thing to know.
Alright here it goes. Five things I learned!
- Don't buy new gear!
A couple of weeks before I left for my trip I switched from Olympus to Fujifilm. I sold all of my lenses and my beautiful Olympus PEN-F body... And I did not even hate my gear. There was nothing wrong with it, and I am a firm believer in that you can't buy a bad camera anymore.
It was more that I was chasing some sort of look or vibe that the Fujifilm sensors have. And I just felt it was time for a change. And if you never try something new you will never know you will like it or not!
The whole difference between my Olympus PEN-F and Fujfilm X-E3 is a whole other subject to dive into. Because the end conclusion is I love them both. The point I am trying to make here for the DO NOT BUY NEW GEAR issue is the learning curve!
My ego let me believe I worked enough hours with the Fujifilm to understand the device completely and I would not make any mistakes with it.
Well I was wrong...
For example the aperture I shot on my Olympus to get everything sharp was around f5.6 or lower. On my Fujifilm it was way lower. And I realized I had to take my photographs around f8! That resulted in some shots I had a shallow depth of field when I did not want it. Especially when I missed focus.
That brings me to another point. I missed focus! A lot!
I was like: How the hell is this happening! Back home I did not have this problem!
There is a difference between photographing back home and while traveling. And that too will be material for another blog post. But in this case, the conditions were different. The people were different even though I was there before. The gear of course was different. My mindset was different. All the narrow alleyways and using certain techniques to get a shot and doing stuff on instinct. All of that together gave me some out of focus results.
I analyzed it all. And one of the things was the the single point focus on my Olympus somehow let me get away with errors. While the single point focus on my Fujifilm was unforgiving. If you miss it, you miss it!
I switched to zone focusing instead and that worked better for me in those conditions. End result. More material I am satisfied with. And no customer or viewer of your art will care if you used a single point focus method or a zone focus method. It is all getting the shot and the story you are telling.
- Do your research.
Like I said, it is not all about the bad things. You also need to reflect on all the stuff that went well!
For me it was arranging my guide or fixer or whatever you want to call it. Making a plan on what you are going to do everyday and also leave some room for spontaneity. Having a back-up plan if something falls short. All of that so you can get the most out of your time.
I planned everything well. And I also was very lucky that nothing went wrong. I think on that part I had the smoothest trip ever. Planning helped.
- Update your software.
This one is actually not about the time during my trip. But more about the process when you return and start to review your work do your post processing.
I looked at my shots and I was getting angrier and angrier by the day. My photos looked like crap. And I did nothing wrong! Why? Why was this?
I was getting into fights with my raw files. And got a bad case of worming. Man o man I was getting frustrated... My photos looked like a watercolor painting!
A fellow photographer said to me: Cris, did you update lightroom?
Fujifilm raw files had got some issues with lightroom in the past. And after a lot of Google searches I read that there were a lot of people that used alternative raw processors and bypassed lightroom or not used it at all! The switched to alternatives like for example capture one.
Small side-note. I used to have the last standalone version of the original lightroom. Because I refused to be part of the subscription model that Adobe started.
I actually like lightroom a lot. So I followed his advice. Put my ego aside. And updated purchased the monthly version of lightroom. And as soon as I openend my photographs again they looked a lot better.
I combined that with a different way of sharpening and voila! Instant happy Cris!
Btw. The whole sharpening thing with Fujifilm raw files... Only use the sharpening slider a little. Use the detail slider more and pull back the radius.
- Shoot a lot of shit.
Maybe it is a bit redundant to say. But I hope I don't have to tell any photographer that it is to take a shot extra than you have not taken the shot at all...
That especially is true with memory cards. Fill those puppies up and shoot everything that peaks your interest.
And no. That does not automatically nullifies my post about "f##k instant gratification". Those are two completely different things. And if you have a goal in mind... Do whatever it takes. There is no award for getting the decisive moment in the least amount of photos...
- Take your time!
I saved this one for last...
Because for me this is the most important one.
Why?
Because I did not do it...
I wanted to get the ultimate photograph so much. I soared and roared across the area like a idiot. My drive that I am so proud of got the best of me.
The end result was that I did not take the time take in the moment as I normally do. And that sucks. It is not that I have bad photographs now... But in retrospect there were moments where I should have taken my time more the choose another angle. Or kneel down to take the shot. Get closer. Wait longer. Getting the details more right.
What if is miss something?
That mindset held me back to look at some little details. When you see a scenario and you don't need to react in a split second. Just take your time... Relax... Take two photos extra. Inhale... Get low or high. Analyse... Wait for the light. It will all come together if you just let the moment be...
It is hard to explain I guess... But there goes a lot detail in taking a good or even a great photograph. And a lot has to go with a certain flow and peace of mind. You feel it when you do it. And once you made one. It is a feeling that you will forever chase again...
Alright! This is it!
My five lessons about photography. I hope you enjoyed them!
Stand by for Part two: Life...
Catching that decisive moment...
Finally my Iran work in physical form! Souls of Iran as a Zine!
Dear friends!
I was so busy with everything that I forgot to wright a blog post. And to tell you all a super exciting update!
My Souls of Iran work is now available as a two part Zine!
I am so happy with this. I can't describe it into words. But I will try it anyway haha.
And yes, I know I know, I should write more... I'm working on that!
I wanted to to make a book at first. But I got really inspired by a special about zines. Or zeenes...
The origin of Zines is rooted in Sc-Fi, Punk, and Photography sub-cultures. It was, and is used to self publish their work or their own ideas and spread them around there scene or the world.
And with me being a photographer and still have a lot of rebel in me left from when I was a little Cris, it seemed like a better idea.
The book was actually already done. The spell check was back, had some people look it over and review it whom I hold in high regard. And I was good to go!
Until I was watching a episode of Ted Forbes's YouTube channel "The art of Photography"... Btw, if you are really into photography it is a awesome channel to follow. It brings the art back into photography.
Anyway! I was so inspired! So I decided to sort of re-work it into a Zine format.
Making a version of a4 size paper stapled together was maybe a bit to rebellious for the way I wanted to present my photographic work from Iran I decided to go with the most used self publishing service out there named blurb. Blurb is a very cool platform for everyone who is trying to get his or her work out there and offers incredible quality and services.
I also made the creative decision to split my work up into two parts. Isfahan & Shiraz, and Yazd & Tehran. It seemed more fitting. And that way I think the focus is more on the photographs instead of the volume of pages.
And in this day and age I think that was the best fitting way to present it. Everything is already in bulk. If for example you look at Instagram. I don't now how long people look at a photograph. But it is way to short... I guess that is the reason why I like physical prints so much. You have something real...
Another factor was price.
My fine art prints are expensive as they are. They are of course worth every euro. But it is still a fair amount of money. And I wanted to make something that is more accessible for everyone. A book would cost around 70,- euros. And the Zines are 20,- and 15,- euros. So that is a big difference.
Small side-note. Every cent and euro make it possible for me to continue my photographic journey and tell the story world. And makes new future projects possible. So it is a big support!
The end result you can see below. And yes, it makes me very proud!
Like I said before. It feels good to see your work in physical form. And hopefully all of you like it just as much as I do!
If you are interested you can order it through here or just click on the shop and than Zines menu item.
