only me
my camera
and sometimes a pen
time flies by too fast
and I am too slow...
will I ever have enough time?
I do my best...
it doesn't matter what I say
or do
I have no control
tijd om lost te laten
or hold on
it feels like sand
I called home
niemand thuis
sometimes it seems
that the people in the street
can read my mind
they look
they stare
they are like sculptures of what my heart feels
I sometimes say I never believed
but somehow
yet
from the beginning
I always did
I'm tired
Someone else falls asleep
another phone
should I pick up?
I see a tree
the sky turns bright
daglicht
a flock of birds
I wish they were
something else
time to go home...
Street Photography
Diary entry during a pandemic once forgotten... The death of my father... And a flying snowman...
The radio is on…
At least that what we have said years and years ago… But it is just regular old Spotify. No LP’s today.
Fairuz is playing. She is a Lebanese singer which I have just discovered this morning. What a beautiful voice she has. It reminded me of more beauty that I know, so I send it to her…
It also reminded me that I needed to write a little bit again. A sort of a update. Or a story. A glimpse of my mind. A question. A observation. Or maybe all of the above… Just look at it as a diary entry…
Unfortunately writing blog posts is not as romantic as writing a journal. And years and years after I have died my journal is the thing most likely to be found. And not my blog.
Does it matter anyway?
Everything matters…
All of it. All the little bits and pieces in between matter. I love writing. And who knows who is reading this and is interested what goes on in the mind of a artist.
I think I am not really made for creating YouTube videos. And if I would ever do that. I think it is way more important to talk about the art and philosophy of photography instead of gear. And that is all what you see nowadays. Anyways, writing seems just more fitting for me.
So here it is. More writing. Are you ready for the copious amount of text?
I sure am…
Writing sometimes takes me days though. And I don’t know how many days it will take me to finish this story. You can guess more than a few…
There once was a pandemic…
If I look outside the world almost looks like normal again but strangely it isn’t… Borders are opening up in Europe which is nice. So will it be finally time for me to take another trip? I hope so… But where will it be… I want to work more on my current projects. Or maybe even start a new one in a place where I have never gone before. Traveling I miss so much! That is no secret… The places where I want to go are outside of Europe. And they are either still in lock-down now. Or not taking any visitors.
Just be patient, Cris. It will be fine…
Although as a individual I am not afraid of the virus. There are still many things to take into account though.
But again… As I look outside…. The world seems normal again…
But it isn’t…
There is still a pandemic going on…
Do we ever learn…
The pandemic did made me realize it was finally time to start a photo essay about my father. But if you want to read more about that… You need to read just a little bit more of this story.
So in a way “I” learned. Finally a project which I really care about back-home. Finally a project back-home that I love.
And like I always say: Love is the one thing one needs to succeed. And it doesn’t matter what it is… If there is no love. It will not succeed.
But when I look around me. And when I observe as what photographers are supposed to do. Unfortunately I see a lack of love.
That sounds dark. But life is dark. Without darkness there cannot be light. But no worries. I will end with some happiness in the end… Well… Sort off…
It is the ying to the yang. Or the, as above to the, so below.
Countless and countless of humans still chose the life in between. Old patterns. Afraid to take chances. And trying to clinch on to the old.
It should have been a teachable moment….
One would think that something as humongous as a global pandemic would made as change the way we are. But saying it like a Dutch man. We hebben geen reet geleerd. (We didn’t learn shit.).
Still always in a hurry…
You can see it by the traffic lights. It is a prime example how to deal with things. Not waiting for the green. Because one thinks that he or she is so special it doesn’t apply to them.
The human ego what constructs that is also responsible for more extreme things. Because it is always looking to bend it a little bit more…
In the end it is responsible of war and famine. Injustice and racism. And even the whole cancel culture which I despise to the core, is a result of it.
Why do we keep hurting ourselves…
So is the human ego to blame for it all? I don’t know… I philosophize about it a lot. And it also seems that patterns are a big part of it.
Patterns. Nature… Nurture…
It is the reason I guess why people keep stuck in relationships that doesn’t give them happiness. Or keep doing their dead-end job. It is safe. It is everything one knows…
And change is scary…
Yes. Even for me…
And even more so. Change hurts…
A lot!
A pandemic should be the catalyst to finally make the changes we need. From a micro level in ones personal life. To a macro level for the entire globe.
There is some change going on as you can see with all the protest because of the death of George Floyd. But will it be enough? I hope so. But you also see that with every movement there are a lot of people being taken advantage of. Or being used as puppets for another agenda. But that is something that has been going on forever and noticed since I have been studying history books.
Let’s just hope it is all enough. But the main thing is one needs to discover nuance. Life I guess is a lot like Ilford Delta 400. Between black and white there are so many different shades of grey…
Life should be like a movie…
I wish everyone the happiness they deserve in their lives. Whatever that means for them. And the hopeless romantic in me, if he had a magic wand. He would give it to everyone around the globe… I would wave with my wand and say: Hope you find your soulmate. Or smoke your cigar on that yacht if that is your thing. Or ride your motorcycle. Or find that special coffee. Or supermarkets without lines. Or your cabana at the beach.
But that is not how it works…
You are responsible for your own happiness. And that takes a lot courage…
Years and years ago. Or maybe even when I was a little kid I decided for myself that my life deserves to be like a movie. I always had a overactive imagination. I love that so much in me. Is that a weird thing to say? But yes, it indeed involved finding the love of my life. Traveling the world. And telling amazing tales…
So would that be the cure for the world? Living your life like in the movies?
A horror movie would not be a good idea though haha. Just make it a nice one…
But will you promise me to take that chance?
Life is too short not to.
Don not fade away…
Cris! Will you finally tell the part about the project of your dad!
Calm down… Calm down…
It is my story… My journal… My movie…
So behind this keyboard. Or with my pen or camera. I make the rules…
A flying snowman…
So here it goes…
I had a conversation with my sister a couple of weeks back. And we came to the conclusion that we have nothing left of our father. The reason of that I will keep that to myself. But it was heartbreaking for me and my sister nonetheless.
So I had a idea when I was taking a shower. And the idea was that this story could be like a movie too! And I knew the perfect one…
Ever since I was little I was fascinated with a short movie of a flying snowman. Literally called “The Snowman“. I linked the name to the Wikipedia page. And here is a link to the clip of the song “Walking in the air“.
I think most of you who are around my age and grew up in my part of the world are familiar with this song. You may not know it by title. But I bet as soon as you hear the first words you will remember it instantly.
It is the story about a little boy who meets a snowman and goes on a amazing adventure in the night. And flies aaaaalllll over the snowy country side… Meets his snowman friends and plenty of more creatures. But when he wakes up the next morning…
His best friend in the world…. Melted…
The most toughest task ahead…
My father died when I was three years old. I do not have many memories of him. I remember his funeral and how his casket disappeared into the ground vividly. But despite not having to many memories, in my imagination he was my best friend in the world.
So I am creating the memories I have never had with him. We go on a adventure and meet also plenty of beautiful creatures.
It is going to be very conceptual so that is totally new for me. And therefore a challenge. But I am sure I will succeed because it is made out of love. Also it is going to be a very emotional project for me. But that is good. Some parts of me still need to heal. And confronting it is the only way.
And of course it couldn’t be anything else then a adventure. I mean, all of my fathers. My father and my grandfathers were all adventurers. And so am I!
It is going to take a while…
When will it be done… I don’t know… Good photographic projects take a while. And nowadays people think a project that takes three months is long… I can tell you, that is not long… Salgado or Peter Beard would not shy away from years and years of work…
In the world of instant gratification the long term photographic essay seems forgotten. But it is the only way to make a piece of art that will last for generations ahead.
So it will be done when it is done. And when that time has come I will share it with the world. Some people close to me may see sketches. But that is it.
Isn’t it exciting to see a project when it is done instead of all the updates or shots on Instagram? The surprise we be bigger that way. It makes you stare longer at a photograph. Otherwise it will be lost in the abyss in a second… Because it is not new anymore…
Art is made to be experienced in real life anyway…
And maybe…. Just maybe….
Life is to be experienced in real life anyway….
A end to a story… For now that is…
I like drama. I like dramatic movies… Or books… Or music…
The whole feeling of melancholy gives a experience of a beautiful suffering.
I will link the Fairuz songs at the bottom of the post plus one bonus. And two photographs.
But how to end…
To keep it full of drama… A while back I finished a book named “The Memory Police“ bu Yoko Ogawa. She is a amazing writer. And if you don’t like spoilers don’t read further… Because this story may sort of end the same way…
Me. Cristian Geelen… Sitting here with his laptop… Camera next to him.
Writing about love and life… A pandemic…
And slowly he disappears…
First his hands… Than his nose…
His arms and legs…
His lips and his eyes followed…
Until there is nothing left but his voice and his camera…
And even that…
Is what the wind took away…
~ Cristian
The song of Fairuz I was talking about.
This one is bonus because I think it is super beautiful too.
Mini me and my awesome doggie name Ricky. He would protect me from all the evil in the world.
Adult me with his trusty Nikon. Able to squat a horse and about to rip his pants again. Waiting until he can go on adventures…
Some sun and some prints...
Finally… The sun was out…
December third was the last time I have updated my blog. The whole reason for that? Work… I think it took me about to the end of December to finalize my Myanmar work. Than came all the emailing, contacting, printing, writing, and so much more! Also research for my projects this year… So much research…
Now it is February already and it feels like a second winter here in the Netherlands.
Luckily the sun was out last Friday so that meant I could shoot some street. You can find those at the end of the post. And as you can guess. It is not going to be a long one.
Two updates…
One:
I made five prints in my darkroom which are up for sale in my print store. It is one of Phaw and is printed on Ilford Multigrade RC warmtone paper with warmtone developer. Click here to go to my print store so you can order one if you like it.
It is matted, signed, and numbered, and ready to frame and hang on your wall.
Like I said, it is a run of five. And all handmade by myself in my darkroom. Old school silver gelatin hand work.
Will print more later on. But printing in a darkroom takes a lot of time and energy. It is a different and also difficult craft besides the photographing and developing itself.
The second one:
March 6th there will be article out on Emulsive. Of course when it is live everyone will be spammed. It will be one about my Myanmar project. So super excited about it.
Looking for a gallery:
Also I am looking for a gallery to exhibit my Myanmar project. So if you are reading this, and you are a curator. Don’t hesitate to contact me. I sincerely appreciate it.
Some photographs…
Like I promised. Here are the photographs from last sunny Friday. I have shot it with my regular Ilford film. Some Rollei Retro 400s I have found in my fridge. And Even a roll of Acros.
But I hate talking about gear and gear related stuff. In the end it’s the photograph what counts. Even more so… In my humble opinion. A photograph is not a photograph until it is printed.
Not on the internetz…
*click the photographs to make them bigger.
I am the richest man in the world... The story about me in Myanmar.
Cris you are the richest man in the world…
That is what she said when we ended lunch. Or at least something similar… It doesn’t matter in the end though. It is what she meant what counts.
A cold Saturday back in the Netherlands and she finally gave me the words that I needed to start writing again. I has been a while since my last decent story. But that is okay. It was a busy time.
Just returned back form Myanmar photographing one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. What a trip…
I left…
*Note: Some photographs, and people I want to thank at the bottom.*
At the beginning of October I left the Netherlands to go on my adventure. Objective of the adventure: Try to tell the story of the indigenous tribes in Myanmar and how they deal with modern times.
First a small stop in Bangkok and from Bangkok I flew to Yangon, Myanmar. Too many airports, especially because I was traveling with a ton of film. But luckily all of the customs where so nice. Especially in Asia. They noticed me standing in line with my big see through bags full of film and my film was hand checked as soon as I got through customs myself. The airport in France on the other hand… They need to work on their manners a bit… But that is story is for another time… CDG, you suck.
In Bangkok I stocked up on even some more film and I was ready to go. For the people that are interested in what cameras I brought. It was my trusty Nikon FM2n and a old Yashica Mat 124G. As a back-up I brought my Nikon D810. A digital one. But that camera has never left my bag. My mind was determent this was going to be a analog only trip. If they could do it in the old days, it could be done now. And so I did.
Arriving in Yangon…
My arrival could have gone better. As soon as I got in the taxi I started feeling sick… What could it be… I never get sick… I shared the taxi with a girl which I have met at the airport and I tried to keep myself in order. Cracked open the window to get some fresh air, but with all the rain and thunder going on it was not the smartest of ideas.
As soon as I arrived in my hostel the food poisoning which I apparently had, kicked into fifth gear. Locking myself up in the toilet was the only option. Too bad the hostel turned off the water right at that exact moment.
Fuck.
Preparing for my last leg…
After being knocked off my feet for almost two days I got outside to get some fresh air and bought some Royal D. That is some sort of electrolyte drink and I needed that. I was so dehydrated… What I didn’t need was to be in a bumpy bus later that day, but I had no choice. I had to. Loikaw was up, and I just really wanted to go there. My final destination.
Luckily I met a super cool guy in the bus. And what do you know. I ran into him on the way back too.
The country had so many similarities to all the other countries I have been… And as soon as I arrived at the bus station right outside of the city it immediately felt like I was in Iran.
The whole country for me was the perfect combination of the kindness of the people of Iran, the amazing food of Vietnam, and the energy of the streets of India…
Beautiful…
Faith and a doorway to a store full of Longyi…
There she was. Standing in the doorway of a shop that sold longyis. A super big smile on her face, and so on mine. A split second was only needed before we recognized each other.
Victoria…
One of the beautiful souls that helped me so much on my way. Without her… I think most of my project would have failed. Or at least more difficult.
Professional photographer!!! it sounded!
Aaaaaaaah Victoria! So good to finally see you for real!
We exchanged a lot of messages over WhatsApp before my arrival and how she could have be of help. I ended up at random at one of her stores. I just went for a stroll to check out the city and stretch my legs, so faith decided I would meet her immediately without even texting her.
I love faith.
Me and the Chinese motorbike…
As stubborn sometimes I can be the first day I got myself a Chinese motorbike. Victoria warned me not to take that one. But me being Dutch and wanting to save money made me decide to take that one.
My ass did not thank me for that decision…
I took the motorcycle to drive to one of the first villages. It is not allowed to stay in the villages overnight, which I think is a really good thing. So the plan was to drive every morning to at least one of them and drive back before sunset.
But as unpredictable as life is… So was the rest of my journey…
Let me tell you about Moly…
Hair braided and hanging to the side with an umbrella in hand she walked towards me and asked me: Are you Cris?
The only thing I could think was she was like a beautiful young princess that could have walked right out of a Disney movie. Young and and early in her twenties I noticed she was the only one wearing western style dress…
Yes yes… I am Cris! I answered…
You must be Moly?
Moly was my interpreter in the village. I was so happy I immediately ran into her. This because after enjoying the beautiful landscapes of Myanmar I got lost, and it started to rain like Odin cried his heart out. The poncho I brought did it’s job perfectly. Camera dry, and my body too. My feet not so much, and so weren’t my glasses.
An interpreter is needed because all of the villages of the indigenous people around the country of Myanmar have their own language.
We were standing in the middle of the road, a soccer match to the left, a garrison of armed soldiers on the right. And us discussing what my plan was for the day and maybe the days later, and was I was to expect.
She hopped on the back of my Chinese motorbike the same way an amazon warrior does and told me to drive out of the village to one further away…
And so we drove…
Mulon…
I was honored to meet and have a talk with Mulon… She was one of the grandmothers of the village. She was cooking rice and preparing food for the community so Moly and I joined her for the cooking.
But what do you talk about?
I mean I am sort of good in conversation. And I have seen a lot in my life… But if you arrive finally at the place you have been preparing for, for a long time. And also, let’s be honest, seeing an old but beautiful woman with a neck almost twice the size as mine, I mean… That made me a little bit lost for words.
But after a short while the first jokes were cracked. And in the end we talked about everything that life is about.
The beauty is. And I think one of lessons you always learn no matter where you go in the world. We have more in common than we think, and we all long for the same things in life…
We ended with a portrait session…
Evil spirits…
I said goodbye to Moly for the day and made plans to return upcoming days. Because in an instant, this place already captured my heart.
Victoria made sure I was going to other places. Thank god for Victoria. I think I almost would have lived there already. So good of her that she kicked my ass into gear. Also she got me a way better motorbike.
So one of the mornings I went to the farthest place away… It was a three hour ride over mountain roads that were not always that good anymore. So a driver was needed. To share costs I joined a Spanish blogger, Manuela. And two young vibrant Burmese women, Sandar and Marina.
I cannot describe where we ended up in but it was so amazing. I think it was way to describe all of the times I arrived at a new places.
Manuela was put into traditional clothing, and off we went to the courtyard of a house in the middle of the village.
Pot and pans everywhere. A dead pig in some burning bushes. And than it started…
There was some commotion…
A rifle shot…
Playing of drums began…
The shaman was doing his ceremony with spear and shield, walking on the beat of the drum. And on some of the drum beats, more rifle fire.
They were old rifles… So old and bent, I think if you want to go out and shoot something with it you will probably hit yourself in the foot. Or any other place other than the target.
But that is okay. For the ceremony it did exactly what it had to do…
The shaman was doing all of this to get the evil spirits away from the house. Catch them. Put them in a basket with some bamboo strips and chicken bones. And bury it outside of the village where they can do no to anyone.
At one moment more rice wine…
My stomach still wasn’t settled but I drank it anyway. I mean, you only live once… And I actually quite like it. And luckily it is without alcohol I learned later. That’s a good thing… Because a couple of days later on my birthday I drank a lot more!
Fuck, it’s my birthday…
My phone started ringing early in the morning… It was Victoria.
Happpppppppyyyy Biiirrtthhdaayyy Crrriiiissss!!!
She remembered and she was actually the first one to congratulate me. Later that day she was also responsible for one of the three times I celebrated it.
I never celebrate it like a normal Dutch person does. I like it and don’t like it at the same time. I always try to be away but with Victoria around there was no escaping it.
But I had to put some clothes on… Super excited. Because I was going back to the first village and meet up with Moly and her grandmother.
Moly’s grandmother was not alone. She brought her best friend… Phaw…
For my birthday we went to their favorite place. A rice field somewhere in the mountains. It was quite the walk, but those two grandmothers walked like the wind. 78 and 74 years old but so strong and agile.
At one point we ran into a cow herder and he asked Moly where they hid me. This because I was so big in comparison to the locals and it is not allowed to stay there overnight. I had to laugh. In the Netherlands I am just normal… At least my length. My body is still that of an Olympic Weightlifter.
Soul Sisters…
They told me some amazing stories during the walk. The one I remember most vividly is that of when they were young they both had the dream of marrying a boy from the same village so they can stay together forever. And so they did… Still together as best friends in the same village…
Well if that isn’t the most beautiful and romantic story you have ever heard I just don’t know anymore…
True soul sisters and they found a way to stay together trough all of the difficult times and conflict the country has known…
The rest of the day we spend on the porch and drank some rice wine. Moly has secretly gotten me a gift gift for my birthday. A handmade scarf she made herself. It is just a gem. But what she didn’t realize, is that spending my day with her, having lunch with her family, drinking wine was the best gift I could ever have…
Even when the little kids asked me if I was in an accident because my entire body was covered in Thanaka. I was completely sunburned by now. And it was the only thing that helped.
I had to laugh a bit.
No I am fine haha. It is just a sunburn.
Time passes on…
Like I always say… Time is the most precious commodity in the world. It can’t be stopped or bought… And you can only spend it once…
That makes the rest of the day even more special. Victoria showed up at the restaurant with the biggest birthday cake I have ever had. Literally I never had such a big one! My name was on it and even a camera. How in the name of god could she have fixed that so quickly!
Time can maybe never be stopped. But these are memories I will forever carry with me…
End of my main objective…
The rest of my remainder of my time I continued photographing as much I could find of the local villages and there was gas in my motorbike. I you have any clue how difficult that is. Normal street photography rules don’t apply if you step into a different world. Not if you want to tell their real story and to be honorable about your work at the same time. Photographs are always given…
The story is also far from over…
Villages with dragon hats, got stung by a bee in my eye, got lost again…
But at one point I had to travel back…
Back to the biggest city of the country…
Back to the former capital…
I shed a little tear when I said goodbye and off I went, back into the night bus…
But it was not all bad. Met up with Sandar again and also gave me a birthday present and took me out for dinner. My third birthday party!!!
Had some amazing conversations with Natalia which I have also met in Yangon. And also Tyler my beer guzzling Australian buddy.
Time to relax after. After all my Holiday sort of started now I was done…
So Cris, will you ever come to the “you are the richest man in the world” part?
I will no worries…
If you have made it this far you have sincerely earned it…
Thank you for that…
The story so far sounds amazing. And honestly by itself it is a once in a lifetime experience. And I could already measure my richness in just this trip. But you probably have discovered that richness for me is not in money…
One of the topics discussed during the lunch is also being proud of who you are and that it is allowed to let it be part of your story… And also that it is allowed to be proud of yourself.
If I look at my life in retrospect I have plenty to be proud of and not in an arrogant kind of way. But I have never stood still for real about that. I mean I know it, but I also know nothing more than grinding… Working hard… Because in my monkey mind that is the only way to achieve my dreams…
My dad dying…
So let me tell you a little bit about myself…
My dad dying was and is still a big reason why I do what I do. Maybe it is also my souls path. But still…
I was only three years old when it happened but thinking of it now makes me remember his funeral very vividly… His coffin, how hard I cried, and the people I sought comfort with.
After my dad died my stepfather did something so atrocious to one of my family members we had to run away in an instant and were literally without a home for a while…
Of course sleeping at your grandparents and uncle at one point is still a roof. But still it’s not a good and healthy way to grow up.
When our family has been through many court sessions and other things we finally found a place for ourselves in the worst neighborhood of the city I lived in.
Waking up from gunshots… Stepping over junkies in the morning to grab my bike to go to school… No money…
The mailman even got beat up. And my gym owner learned me how to shave.
Growing up like that with literally nothing. I was so driven to make most of my life. That of course came with a shitload of mistakes. But the drive was always there. Working, training hard, studying. All at the same time. Too bad days only contained 24 hours… I made myself a promise to escape that life if it was the last thing I did.
And so I did…
I did so many things I am proud of but these are the ones I want to mention.
I achieved something later in age in Olympic Weightlifting I thought I would never do when I picked up my first barbell when I was fifteen.
And became an successful IT engineer at one of the best companies in my country. The same company also gave me the opportunity to follow my dreams to become a photographer and work part time for them.
Even learned to play three instruments and played in an awesome metal band and did some awesome shows.
And now, traveling the world…
With my camera…
As a storyteller, meeting nothing but beautiful souls along the way…
How in gods name can I not be the richest man in the world?…
~ Cristian
Some special mentions I have to make after this story. And if I forgot you. Don’t worry. You are indeed in my heart.
Victoria. Moly. Sandar. Natalia. Sai Arkar Min Tun. William. Marina. Manuela. Stephan. Leonard. Kaitlin. Nick. Lukas. Tyler. Luiza. James. Batman. Sky… My friends back-home. Tino & Alina. Wing. Eelco.
Without you nothing of this was possible.
*Note: Some photographs below. Working on these kind of projects is hard and is not free despite it is super cool to do. And also shooting analog makes it even more expensive and difficult. I still have to work on the side you know… I know my art is not affordable for everyone but there are so many way to support me. Share my name. Share a post or article. Buy a digital print which is cheaper. The options are endless. But please do not distribute my photographs without my consent. In the end when I have developed everything and the editing process will be done it will be up as a project and some handmade, high-end fine art prints will also be available.*
Some phone snaps…
Playing with color...
I am a lover…
I am a lover of Black and White photography…
If I had to pick my soul apart and examine that little bit that is responsible for photography you will find out it will consist out of bit and pieces of Ilford Delta 400 or HP5+ and Kodak Tr-X. DDX and HC110.
But in that whole mess of Black, White, and all the shades of grey, there is a secret part that loves color.
Seduced by the wonderful tones of Steve McCurry and his Kodachrome. A mistress of the vibes of William Eggleston. Or a unspoken connection with the works of Harry Gruyaert.
So got myself some rolls of color film. Just because I felt like it!
I have got my hand on some Cinestill 50D and Kodak Ektar. And luckily for a short while there was no shortage of light. Did some casual roaming around. And had no real structure whatsoever. Just photographed everything that peaked my interest. I mean, I will be traveling in a couple of weeks again to work more on my ever evolving Israel project. So casual and just having fun is all I needed for now.
And it was fun! I mean, everyone knows that shooting analog is always a surprise. And way more difficult than digital. Also you don’t have the luxury of your back screen. But in comparison to Black and White you have to think in color.
So I tried to look for some colorful scenes and just clicked away.
Because most of the all color that I did shot lately was digital I was quite excited! So curious what the end results was... I was particularly excited for the Kodak Ektar. No specific reason. I just love the vibe of it, if that is reason enough. I am not very good at describing color pallets…
Me and my big bucket…
Since I do all of my developing myself I developed these rolls myself too. And in comparison to Black and White development I actually think color is more easy. With Black and White you can influence a lot by tweaking your entire developing process. From agitation to different developers and all of it you can think of. With color it is more straightforward and you can fuck less up.
The biggest challenge with color I think is getting everything to 38 degrees Celsius.
If you have followed my Instagram stories of that day. You might have noticed I have used a nifty little trick for that… If you are curious. Well… I guess you just have to follow my Instagram stories in the future to find that out haha.
Pushing it…
No this is not a reference to a Salt-N-Pepa song. But I did pushed it real good! To 400 to be exact. I think I only shot one roll at box speed. That was one of the cinestills’. But since I always like to push it, and 50 and 100 ASA is really not enough. I was like; screw it! Crank it up!
Added 30 seconds per stop to the developing time and it all went down as smoothly as a nice IPA on a sunny day. Or any other day…
Happy as a camper…
When I scanned the results I was indeed happy as a camper. It all looked wonderful and especially the reds really seem to stand out. This is why I shoot film… The smile on my face when you get the rolls out of your tank and seeing you film dry and after that the end result in an beautiful image. Or a sucky one when you screw up haha.
I would have loved to print some, but at home I can only do Black and White printing. I will look at that process maybe at a later time.
Wrapping it up…
Not wanting to make thing one a too long of a post, so I am going to wrap it up. Like I wrote in the beginning, I am about to work on my project again in a couple of weeks. And I need to get everything ready. So here are a couple of images of the rolls. Not all of them, otherwise there is noting left to share at a later moment…
So thank you for reading. And since you have made it this far. Here are the images.
- Cristian
Kodak Ektar 100 EI 400.
CInestill 50D EI 400.
Kodak Ektar 100 EI 400.
Cinestill 50D EI 400.
Cinestill 50D EI 400.
Cinestill 50D EI 400.
Cinestill 50D.
Kodak Ektar 100 EI 400.
Kodak Ektar 100 EI 400.
Andante - Portrait series of the soul. No 2. - Reham
Andante…
Or in other words… Slow…
A musical term that means slow. And also the name of my portrait series.
I found it on the cover of an vinyl LP record I inherited from my father and the music on it was exactly how I felt. And even represents a side of me. Of course I have a happy side. But my other one is full of romance, love, sadness and melancholy. I embraced it and love it very much.
The name: Symphonie Espagnole, Op. 21 IV. Andante.
I wrote about it in an earlier blog post which you can find here.
Time…
For me it represents time… When you are doing something you like or love and are having a good time it flies by, and when you are going through hardship or have to wait for something it goes as slow as it can be. But time is only to spend once…
That’s why it is so valuable.
Reham…
This portrait series I just want to do by gut feeling. And that is how I choose the person I ask to photograph. I was thinking for a long time about whom I could make my second part of the series with. Than at one moment, I woke up in the morning I was thinking about Reham. I knew I wanted to photograph her for a long time but the puzzle pieces never connected until now.
Reham is a beautiful young soul of Palestinian descent that was born in Syria as a refugee but was unable to reuturn home. From Syria she went to Dubai, Lebanon, Egypt, and Turkey, before eventually ending up here in the Netherlands. Now studying computer science at one of the best universities of our country.
She is one smart cookie.
I’ve met her during a diner named “Diner voor gelukzoekers“ (Diner for fortune seekers) a couple of years a go hosted by Roos. The woman in the first version of this series. Everything is connected.
My process….
So how does that translate to my photography? Well… As you can see in the first one. It is full of people passing by as souls. And in this one… Trying to capture it. This through a medium of analog film instead of digital. A slower process of manual focusing and metering and developing it myself. Also, during that slowness I wanted to capture more…
I wanted to capture her power!
Her heart.
And eventually her soul…
A young powerful woman that is youthful and experienced at the same time. So after a couple of hours wandering through her hometown I think we succeeded. And during the editing process I ended up with four frames which I thought that would show everything perfectly.
What EI I shot it at or which film I used is not important. Except maybe that I always use Ilford for everything. With some exceptions of course. Other than that giving someone a safe space to open up is way more important.
The rest is not only film chemistry, but chemistry between you and the soul you are photographing.
So hereby…
So hereby. My second part of Andante - Portrait series of the soul.
- Cristian
Digital vs Analog, Israel, testing stuff, and other project updates.
Hey everyone!
This blog post is not really a dedicated story about something particular. But more of a quick sum up of everything that is going on. I will address my photography and I will be addressing a little bit of my travel plans and projects that I am preparing.
So I am putting on some Tool (The band) and just write away!
And at the end some images… And yes. Even some color… As a reward for reading through everything haha.
That analog life…
If you have been following me you probably noticed that I am getting more and more into analog photography. Not that there is anything wrong with digital, but I just think it is tons of fun!
For everything is a time and a place though.
It started out with just pure curiosity. How it works, and aesthetically it is just amazing. For me there are too many variables in digital photography if you are really into the whole mega post-processed stuff. But I am more of a documentary photographer anyway. So it is not that bad. But I remembered when I started and before I have found my voice photographically the amount of stuff what you can do and achieve are almost limitless. That can be a advantage… But for me… It is not… The less of distractions in my gear the better.
With analog I pick a film that goes with my subject matter. Of course you need to do some post processing. That part is not different. Unlike some people like to believe. But your base is just different. And because of that I can focus more on my composition instead of being a Lightroom warrior.
Sitting in a Ferrari…
The fun thing is. After you have shot analog for a while as soon as I grab my digital camera it feels like I am sitting in a Ferrari. Everything goes so quickly! You can review what you are doing, not to worry about a full roll, auto focus all of sudden… Man! Like a hot knife though butter!
I already mentioned this once before. But every-time it gives me more and more respect of the photographers from the golden age and all of my heroes. In comparison shooting analog is just goddamn difficult!
Shades of grey…
The world is not black and white like photographs, but situations are as grey as they come. Same in the case of photography. And specifically; what do I bring on my upcoming project…
I will be traveling to Israel and the Palestinian territories again at the end of April. Continuing with my everlasting story I want to tell.
And despite I want to shoot most of it analog. The thing that is going through my mind is.
Is it practical?
If you have ever been to for example Jerusalem. The amount of detectors you have to go though is enormous. And the last thing I want is that my film is getting screwed up by all the scanners and stuff. Of course on the airport you can ask for hand checks. And as you have read in my Vietnam and China blog, it is not really a problem. But I just don’t want to take the risk. Because if I lost any of my images again I definitely get a heart attack or something. It happened already to me last year and, I don’t want to happen it again.
In the end my heart will probably kick my brains ass and I will bring digital and analog anyway.
Lomography…
Speaking of grey… I have been picked by Lomography to test their new Postdam Kino 100 film. From what I have seen it looks like an amazing film. It is inspired by old German cinema. And from the images I have seen what they have shot I am actually really curious what it will give me.
The only thing is, because it is 100 ASA I need a lot more sunlight. And the Netherlands is still grey…
But as soon as I shot it I will dedicate a blog post to it. So stay tuned for that…
Developing stuff…
Lately I have written a lot about developing. Especially on Instagram. And filming it to and such. But I am trying to keep it on my own blog to a minimum.
The whole reason for that…
I just want this about the art of photography and my adventures. Projects I am doing. And even maybe a sort of diary with things that come to my mind. Not one of the many gear or technical blog that are out there.
I am a photographer first. The rest is just bonus…
I do like I said, share that stuff in my Instagram. That whole platform is as contemporary as it can be. It has it’s uses. So that seems like the right place for that.
Also you probably will on some guest blogs that I am going to write. And have written already. You can find one on 35mmc. I have written a 5 frames with. Go check it out if you like! Click here.
There are also some other ones in development. But I will let you all know as soon as that will materializes.
Searching for stories…
After I return from Israel and the Palestinian territories and processed all of my work I will be looking for another place to travel to. No idea which one yet. But I am doing plenty of research. Nepal, Papua New-Guinea and Uzbekistan are on my list. But it always can change.
I am open for suggestions though. So if you have some. The comment section is open, so you can always drop a comment if you want.
The stipulation is. I do need to have a story to tell. The main focus is that I want to steer my work towards that I create more depth in my images. Not only with composition. But also ,it needs to be about something. Otherwise it will be just one of the many millions out there. I need to get out of that street photography flow and more into my documentary photo-journalistic flow.
So I am looking for events that are happening. Some special festivals. Tribes or (sub)cultures. It’s a difficult task. But hey, if you want that your work means something…
Ramble on…
Not the famous song of Led Zeppelin, but this time it is me that is starting to ramble again. So it is time to close the lid of my laptop and go to bed. Because I am finishing this story up on a Saturday night…
Oh!
And I bought a “new“ enlarger for my darkroom. Time to print!
Alright. This really was it. For now at least!
- Cristian
Ilford Delta 400
Ilford Delta 400
One of my few color shots lately.
And another color one.
Going to Vietnam, Listening to an old lady singing Celine Dion songs, and freezing in China
Bags are packed…
I started writing this post in a stuffy hotel room in China. Meanwhile in the background the television was on, and a lady with a mustache singing Celine Dion songs. All of this together in a perfectly choreographed dance with her partner. Gotto love Chinese television…
So what the hell was I doing in a stuffy hotel room in China?
Well… I was on my way back from a trip I never would have expected to take this year. Vietnam!
I didn’t have that much time…
It was a short trip. I only had two weeks, and I had to make a short detour through China. Not that I was complaining, but China was freezing my balls of so cold was it! The downside was that having a long layover is that it will eat your time up at your final destination.
But with everything in life. You need to see the positives of it. And that gave me some thing to do some sightseeing in China itself. Despite I didn’t bring winter clothes. Silly me…
I just checked the weather in Ho Chi Minh and that is it!
The start of my adventure…
My adventure started about two weeks earlier give or take. Hopped on the plane in the middle of the day. Got all my baggage checked by security. And off I went.
In my research I looked for stores in Ho Chi Minh that sell Ilford film, and maybe some other analog stuff. This, because I was trying to minimize the chances of film going through an X-Ray scanner. Those scanners say they are film safe. But most of the time only to 800 ASA and I guess when you value your work you just don’t take the chance. It can leave some ugly glow across your film or some even more ugly lines. X-Ray is also light. Just very strong. The security personal did noticed my camera gear btw, and treated it with all of the care it needed. But more on that in the conclusion of my story.
The lady with the sign…
Anyways! After about and eleven hours I arrived in Beijing. And my whole plan for the layover was to do some sightseeing and maybe rent an sleeping pod for a couple of hours somewhere. But to my surprise there were two lovely Chinese ladies with a sign and my name on it! Also the name of some other travelers.
There was a little confusion because of the language barrier. But after a lot of talking with hand and feet the end conclusion was: Free hotel room!
Woohoo!
I like free stuff! But maybe that is because I am Dutch haha.
It turns out that you get a free hotel room with your plane ticket when you fly with China Southern airlines. Who would have known…
So got my 72 hour visa. Everyone got a sticker except for me. :( And took a long shower in the hotel room.
Sightseeing time!
My fellow companions of fate were a Dutch couple, a dude with a Roomba, and a German couple. We exchanged numbers during checking, because when you encounter these kind of surprises it is always smart to sort of have a line to each other in case something is the matter. And we all wanted to see the great wall of China.
So here we went! In the taxi, of to the great wall. And getting some Chinese money in the process. I called them Yen, but that is Japan. Sorry Japan! haha.
Because it was so freaking cold the great wall there were no crowds there. So for me that meant great photo opportunities!
Time for some noodles and onward with my journey…
And so I did…
After another six hour flight I arrived at Ho Chi Minh airport. We all split up to our final destination but the German couple was looking for a place to stay. And told them I was not staying in the party district, but in hostel at a district that was more easy going. I am not much of a party person, and my main goal was to photograph and chill out.
2019 is going to be a busy year for my with some hard to photograph places. So this was my sort of work / vacation trip.
They liked the sound of that and decided to join me.
I am so they did because they turned out to be this trips amazing souls.
If you follow me and my projects and travels I always met a person or persons that will make everything worth while. India there was the Professor. Claire and Ricky always have a special place in my heart. Chana. And the list goes on and on… If I didn’t name you, believe me, I didn’t forget you.
And now Tino and Alina. Thank you so much for the wonderful time I had while I was in your company.
Time to kill…
We could’t check into the hostel yet because we had to wait until two ‘o clock. So that meant time to kill.
Btw, the hostel I was staying in was DaBlend hostel. It was the cleanest hostel I have ever stayed in. Everything was so well organized. And the personal, especially Khoa are the coolest. So if you are like me and just want to do some work while chilling out if you are in Ho Chi Minh go to this place. Here is a link.
It turned out Alina is a photographer too. So after we dropped our bags and had some ice coffees we went out to do some photography. Got some great shots in, and walked a lot and had loads of fun.
Dragon Ball Z hands and time for bed…
We ended the super lang day with some beers and some food and some more beers on the roof. Apparently after I have had some Saigon beers I get Dragon Ball Z hands. Who would have known…
Time to rest…
Getting my hands on some film…
Ah morning! Time to be productive. I do my best photography alone and I also needed to get my hands on analog film I went out not too late. During my research I found the croplab.
Croplab didn’t have the film I normally use. I am a big fan of Ilford HP5+. But all they had of the Ilford brand was PAN 400 and Ilford Delta. In the end I chose to ho with the PAN 400.
Never had that one before and had to make a decision on the spot. So PAN 400 it was!
After I bought it I did some research during my rest moments. And it turns out it is not that common that you can get it here in western Europe. So that made it even more exciting for me! It was one big surprise how everything was going to turn out.
More on the results of the developed Ilford PAN 400 photographs in the blog post after this one.
The upcoming days…
The upcoming days were filled with everything I have planned. Went to a monastery close to the Cambodian border. Altough it was very cliche, but a big part of the history of Vietnam went to the Cu Chi tunnels and also shot some guns, and of course, plenty of more photography.
It broke my heart…
I do have to say this. And this is a reprimand to all tourist and I am very serious about it. At a couple of places. And especially the the religious places. There were a crapload of people misbehaving. And no, not young people. People of all ages, but especially the “elder” crowd.
It broke my heart that at a place where people were performing these very old traditions the tourists treated it like it was the McDonald’s.
Behave! Don’t be a dick! And keep your mouth shut! And also put that selfie stick in a place, or selfies in general, at a place where the sun doesn’t shine.
I am not doing that at your home either!
So if you read this. And you have the feeling that I am addressing you, I probably am.
Observe. Don’t consume!
You should know better…
Back to the fun stuff!
We took public transportation to most of the locations. But it takes a while. So at one time we were completely beat, and also a little scared that we weren’t able to get into the city because Vietnam was in the finals of the AFF Suzuki cup (Soccer). Luckily we entered the city just in time before the final whistle. Had to make one stop. But when the final whistle blew the city exploded in joy!
Haha at one point we had to celebrate with a group of Vietnamese people who were so excited to see us. Can’s of beers! Lot’s of photos with the foreigners! And chanting and cheering!
Congratulations Vietnam on the cup!
Time to get home…
Of course I want to tell you every other bit of this adventure. But i will spread those across future stories. Or maybe when you see me in real life, you can buy me a beer and I will tell you anyway.
It was time time for me to pack and head home. Lot’s of photos. Digital as well as analog.
The route i was going to take was the same one as I took on my way towards Vietnam. But now with a crapload of analog film.
I told all of you earlier that film can’t really handle X-Ray scanners that well. So I asked everyone security officer if they were able to hand check my film by hand.
And they did!
I guess this also counts like everything in life. Just ask politely, put up a big smile, and tell passionate about the gear you have. And don’t feel entitled to anything.
All of the security officers treated my film with all the care they could give it. As they did with me. Some even got excited to see it. That gave me a comfortable feeling.
If you don’t want to risk it anyway. The alternative is to find a place that can process your film. Developed film can not be harmed by scanners.
The reason I bring undeveloped film home with me is because I want to be in complete control of the developing process.
A couple of days later…
Now I am back at home. Already thinking of the next adventures I will have in 2019…
Not listening to Chinese Celine Dion, but to the Doors on vinyl.
Having the daunting task to go trough all of my work. That is always quite the project by itself…
Alina and Tino thanks again!
Merry Christmas you all of your that have taken the time to read this blog post.
The next one will be about the analog photographs I took and the developing process.
And remember…
It is Christmas 365 days a year…
- Cristian
Ilford HP5+ at box speed, a Nikon FM2n, and a people in yellow vests...
I fell in love…
I was waiting for my package and the mailman app made me even more excited because that notified me it would be delivered today…
And with today I mean last Saturday, December first.
The package contained a something special. At least for me… I wanted to have this camera for a long time. And faith decided that it was time for me to acquire one.
The camera? A Nikon FM2n.
It arrived in perfect condition so I was good to go! The plan is to take it with me to Vietnam. But I had to be sure there weren’t any light leaks. I mean, light leaks aren’t a problem, but I don’t have any time left to fix it before I go.
Luckily there was another demonstration going on in the Netherlands. So it was the perfect testing ground for my new beauty.
Developing
I develop my own film. So a day after I hopped in the kitchen and made my delicious rodinal soup to develop me some Ilford HP5+.
BTW! I will dedicate a later blog post solely on developing black and white film. I think it is some interesting stuff to share.
After that. Scanning began! And indeed! No light leaks!
Below are the shots. The first bunch is of the Nikon FM2n. And the later ones are digital shots taken with my Nikon D810.
Nikon FM2n
Nikon D810
The small KOZP demonstration photo series...
Protest…
Last Saturday I attended the “Kick out Zwarte Piet” demonstration to document it held at the city of the Hague.
In the Netherlands where I live we have a holiday named “Sinterklaas” or in English, Saint Nicholas.
Saint Nicholas is accompanied by Black Piet, and that is where the whole story is about.
Black Piet is portrayed as a black face. And in these times while we try to fight racism so hard on one hand, and the world is getting more polarized on the other. Is there really still a place for a character like Black Piet…
Pro or Against Piet. This is a tumultuous time which exposes some horrible cracks in the, for the outside world, the very tolerant society of the Netherlands.
And that alone makes it an important time for Dutch history…
For me… That means it needed to be documented.
Tolerance…
If you are curious where I stand on this topic…
I am against racism, intolerance, and discrimination in any, way shape or form. Period.
We should go back to Krampus anyway.
He is way cooler and is the first OG of Piets…
The monkeys did it! - My days in Varanasi, India...
I’ve been home a couple of weeks now…
My Instagram feed make you want to believe otherwise because I am still posting photographs of India. But hey! Why not! I just created a lot of work over there that I wanted to share.
Trying…
I’ve been trying to write this blog post ever since the day I have returned home. But you know… Life… Ha! I always was surprised why some photographer seem to only update their blog every once in a while. But trying to juggle a lot of things all at once makes me realize the reason why that happens…
But! For now I have some me time again. So that means going through about 3000 photographs which I took in India of course. Writing my blog. And also, thinking about a way to present my work. In real life that is… Not digitally. As many people know I hate looking at photographs in the digital form. You need to hold them.
But like always I digress…!
Back to India!
I landed in Delhi like most people do. Around midnight I got my backpack from the luggage carousel, and oh so fucking tired of the flight I stepped outside looking for my driver…
I’ve been lucky to see much of this world already. And when I was doing my research my first reaction was. Aaaaaah the chaos in India is probably not as intense as they say it is!
Well I can tell you… It is!
Even in the middle of the night it was so busy everywhere… The busiest city I have seen so far was Tehran, Iran. But that one seems orderly in comparison to the chaos when you arrive in Delhi…
It was warm, humid, and dusty…
I stayed a couple of days in Delhi. I’m not really a fan of big cities. But it would be a shame if I just flew to Varanasi immediately.
I guess Delhi was a good way to acclimatize to the moist and heat, but mainly all of the honking… I still have some nightmares about the honking! I really needed those days because nothing else could prepare me more than Varanasi itself…
In Delhi i roamed mostly around the old city. Which is nice… The light is good, the dust creates some nice looks. And plenty of people and scenes to creates some nice images and warm up. And of course plenty of street food!
The only thing you need to look out for is crooked tuktuk drivers and touts. But other than that… Just roam around, eat plenty, and have fun.
The culture shock that is Varanasi…
I took a domestic flight to Varanasi. I wanted to go by train, but with all the hassle I had to go through with the new website that the Indian railways has got, and I wasn’t planning to let fate decide this trip what kind of train seat I would have. It seemed like a good idea!
Don’t get me wrong. I do think if you have plenty of time you really need to take the train! It will probably be a adventure by itself…
Varanasi was even warmer. And when my driver picked me up from the airport I guess it was roughly an hour drive to the city. For everyone who reeds this. A tuktuk will also get you there and is more fun and cheaper. And you don’t get any tricky questions if you want to upgrade to an airco one haha.
As soon as you arrive the chaos begins. Varanasi is so busy! Especially when I arrived… It was a holiday. Gandhi Jayanti. So a lot of Indian people travel to the city to do their rituals in the Ganges.
Being in Delhi first did indeed prepared me a little bit for everything. The business… Chaos… And the honking! My god! When will the honking ever stop!
The honking is being used as some sort of echo location to see if someone is close by or something. Even in the tiniest streets, motorbikes will try to go through the crowds and honk their way onwards…
As soon as I arrived in the guest house I was staying I started to explore. With my trusty camera of course. There is no better way than just dive right in!
Gear…
BTW, if you read this, and you are a camera nerd, and the chance of that might be quite big…You are most likely interested in which gear I brought. Well that is a very short list…
It was a Fujifilm X100F. A Fujifilm X-Pro 2 with just one 23mm lens. (35 mm equivalent ). And plenty of batteries and memory cards. That was it! I din’t even need the batteries because if you learn to turn off your camera yourself it lasts longer and is quicker ready to shoot, than it gets out of sleep mode…
In the end I only used the X100F. And no regrets…
So screw the gear!
I started at the main ghat. Ghats is what makes Varanasi, Varanasi I guess… It is the heart and the soul of the city. And those are the places where life happens…
The main ghat was so busy! I felt like I was in an ant hill… But it was really interesting to see all the rituals and traditions going on…
It was not the place for me though. For me the most interesting moments happened when I was roaming between the most southern ghat ( Assi Ghat ) and just right before the main ghat.
You can go even more northern. But somehow it was less appealing to me.
And also a small but not less important. The ghats were covered in mud! There has been a flood. And there was mud everywhere… So that gave it’s own challenges… There was a huge cleanup operation going on that made for some interesting scenes. Even lost my shoe, and found it back again. And became for me a big part of the story of the city.
My own rituals…
I created my own rituals there. For me that was roaming between the ghats I just mentioned. Walking a little, stopping for chai, and walking some more.
One morning when it still was before sunrise I continued my roaming between the ghats, and at one moment I got the questions for the thousands of time; “Boat Sir?“
Until now, I always replied no while shaking my head. But this time he even proposed a descent price. Still a little bit more than the local price. But when you travel you need to have the “fuck it“ attitude and just see what happens… And so I did…
I got in the boat. The boatman came and go, and than came again… I thought it was time to finally to go but than another passenger came out of nothing.
The other passenger and I started talking and he turned out to be a professor from Pune, that is close to Mumbai. A super friendly man which gave some interesting insights about the country and city which I otherwise I would have missed or not have known.
We ended up having lunch together and a day later diner and even introduced me to a friend of his. And also drove on a motorcycle with three people at once.
Another thing he introduced me too was lemon tea in the Assi ghat. It is not like Chai or regular tea. But it is tea with salt… The first sip was a bit weird. But after the second one I was hooked! The lemon tea later became a part of my ritual and I even made a lemon tea budget in one of my many pockets haha.
And professor. If you happen to read this blog post. Thank you for everything and your great care. And I mean that form the bottom of my heart. Kind people like you is what makes traveling so special. :-)
The story continues…
The more I roamed around the more I got to know the city. Which is a good thing… You learn what makes the city sort of tick. You start to see the light. You learn what most import is to you and your photographs. And you even get to know the people that live there. The touts started to leave me alone. Compared my muscles with some of the guys who thought they were strong. Chai break here, Chai break there, Chai break everywhere!
Talking about strong…
My physique helps me in a lot of ways… I am not a body builder so I am not huge. I am a weightlifter which is a big difference! It does not make you look bulky. You just get big legs and you look like you can lift a house. But that is a different story haha.
And this time too. One of the mornings I arrived at one of the Kushti training centers. For people who don’t know what Kushti is. Kushti is an traditional form of Indian wrestling which goes back even way before 0 BC. Here is a link to the wikipedia page.
My main goal was to do some photography over there. And it was a important item on my shot list. But I started talking to one of the wrestlers. And as soon as I mentioned that I was a weightlifter I needed to join!
How can I refuse?
So I didn’t even hesitate and joined.
I got introduced to the head coach and, and as soon as the area was made ready to train, I joined the prayer, and was ready to go. The wrestler told me what to say during they prayer. Trained with some of there equipment. Did some grappling. And got a massage and a good cracking from the head coach. Did need to take a little break to still get my shots in haha.
The equipment they use reminds me of the Persian house of strength or Zurkhaneh. Especially the clubs and hammers.
They are such a wonderful people. As soon as the training was done I got invited to join the next day again.
The monkeys did it!
I always talk about my monkey mind. But these monkeys were not in my mind. There are in the streets and on the roof. Now isn’t that really such a strange thing. But somehow the monkeys over here have a little more of a jerk factor than everywhere else.
During the evenings I made some phone-calls back home and every-time there was a huge monkey sitting above the roof entrance playing with his balls and looking at my phone… That bastard wanted to have his own… But it is mine man!
Their assholeness is fuel for some funny conversations though. I will never forget the shop own who complained about that the monkeys broke his Wi-Fi. Or the little kids who where cursing at the monkeys because they their kite. And I asked them; Are the monkeys nice? And their reply was with their sweetest voice; No, monkeys not nice…
It is really refreshing though to see kids playing with kites and chasing monkeys and be happy with it.
My bridge. And a message to other photographers…
I am not talking about a physical bridge. But I am talking about a philosophical one… And one I want to make and connect to my previous stories and my message to photographers.
And maybe not even photographers but everyone in general…
It is all about making connections!
I am not kidding! One of the things that got me triggered were a couple of remarks that were something like; “Hey you are in India, it must be really so easy to get some good photographs!”
That actually rubbed the wrong way…
If you really think like that, why are you photographing?
The things that make photographs special and timeless, are the emotions and the stories you are capturing. If it wasn’t for the kids on the roof, the professor, the Kushti wrestlers, and later a buffalo herder which I talked for hours with on the waterfront of the Ganges. I wouldn’t have gotten my shots in. And besides that. You still need to think about composition and such!
This is what makes your photographs tell stories. You are dealing with real human beings, with a heart! And a soul! And emotions! Yes India is a photography friendly country… And very photogenic. But still…
Otherwise you are just doing graphical design with a camera.
So treat humans as humans… Not as subjects…
You are not in a zoo (And I don’t even like zoos)…
Talk to some people… It will make you richer in ways that you would have never have imagined….
And even when you are not a photographer. Traveling is still about connections. The laughter and joy. The stories you come back home with… Not the Instagram likes…
Rant over… Back to the fun stuff. Like getting sick for a day.
I wanted to train Kushti again but all out of nothing I felt sick. It came out of nowhere! I guess no one is safe for some sort of bug here. Especially with our fragile European bodies.
I needed some healthy stuff. And maybe some food that reminds me of home. So after some Google’ig I have found the brown bread bakery.
What a delight!
It is a nice place where they sell some European sandwiches, nice teas, and lots of smoothies!
When I was there eating my Gouda sandwich I met an amazing couple. Tobias and Isabelle. Isabelle is from the Netherlands too, and Tobias is from the UK if I am correct. And with my camera on the table it didn’t take long the conversation went towards photography. And especially analog.
It turns out that they were making a documentary film purely shot on analog film. That is so cool! They went to so many places already and now they were shooting in Varanasi.
Go check their Instagrams out! You can find Tobias here. And Isabelle here.
The flu like symptoms went away as quickly as it came. And I was going on my way again. We said goodbye. Exchanged Instagram’s. And for me it was back to photography.
Wrapping it up! For now…
I still have so many stories to tell… But maybe I will tell them later.
It is about time I will round this blog post up…
India is an amazing country. Despite the chaos, honking, slipping on cow poo, the monkeys, and the famous Delly Belly… Yes, I was also a victim haha.
The food. The nice people. The culture. Everything!
In the future I will return to see the rest of the country. There is no question about that…
For now. There is a little bit less than two months left in 2018. And if you have come this far in reading this blog post. First of all… Thank you for that.
Also…
Maybe some of you can help me with some future destinations! I opened up the comments of this post because of that.
The reason I ask is because I have to my own surprise some extra time to travel in December. And the destinations is not set yet…
So which part of this beautiful earth would you like to see me document?
Until next time…
- Cristian
Did Instagram kill photography?
I woke up this morning...
Thank god...
Because I like waking up!
The smell of incense was still hanging around from last nights meditation... Sun was a shining a bit on my face because I left the curtains a bit open... And my mind went to photography again...
Because I like photography...
Cup of coffee was made... Went back to bed... And turned on my iPad...
Grateful...
In comparison to most parts of the world where I travel to, people don't have the luxury waking up like this...
I started watching "The many lives of William Klein." and Daido Moriyama's "Near Equal.". If you aren't familiar with those photographers go look them up! And make that your main task today...
I let my mind wander... Thinking... Always thinking...
Because I like thinking...
And my monkey mind is always jumping from one place to the other. In this case to a quote from another legend, Elliot Erwitt. "Digital Manipulation kills photography".
Altough I don't completely agree. Because photographs have always been manipulated! Either in the darkroom or in the digital darkroom that is stationed on your computer.
He does have a point!
My monkey mind was going insane again. But it ain't all that bad...
Because I like my monkey mind...
How does Instagram fit into all of this? And what is Instagram actually? And what if William Klein was born when Instagram existed? or Daido Moriyama?
Valid questions... But more so. It gave me also the opportunity to think about the way how the general public uses Instagram. Or any other piece of social media. Or hell! Even how we treat everyday life.
As where I stand now the platform itself is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Let me elaborate on that.
The positives are quite big actually. It gives any person in the world the opportunity to get their message out there. Either it is music, art, views, or whatever. It can help you build a audience that you otherwise would not have. The whole world at your fingertips! As long as you have a internet connection and a phone or a computer.
Awesome right?
The downside is... Well... us... The people...
Wait wut? What do you mean Cristian!?!?
Well like a lot of things in life it has become more of a popularity contest. We as a species at this moment, and yes I am realizing I am generalizing heavily now, seem to have to attention span of a goldfish! Actually I believe that science already proved that it is even less now...
We choose to get triggered by stuff that is catchy. We see it in our politics, how we communicate with each other, or we rather take a pill to lose weight than change our diet. And even rather send a text than have a telephone conversation because it is scary...
Same goes for art and Instagram.
For me a great photograph is something that you have to analyze... You can lose yourself into... Let yourself escape from reality... Or experience reality more vivid... It is really one big visual story one way or the other. Either it is the traveling tales of Steve McCurry or being in some sort of photographic version of the horror movie the ring and a playboy magazine with Daido's work.
And how does that translate to a medium like Instagram?
Well no worries I will come to that. Life is one big story! And...
Because I like telling stories...
Well, look closely how you scroll through your feed? Maybe another assignment for today?
I goes something like this....
Scroll scroll scroll, Like , Scroll, Like, Comment, Scroll scroll...
And all of that in a couple of seconds...
Did you actually see some of the photographs?
Or did you just got triggered by something catchy?
Would you have the same behavior if you go through a Steve McCurry book?
I think it is a good question to ask yourself. Especially if you consider yourself a photographer, a artist, or just a art lover in general.
That does not mean there isn't a time and a place for the platform. I discovered some amazing photographers who made the platform their own. But it creates some sort of unexplainable distance between one type of photographer and the other. You even got a term "Instagram photographer". Like that a person that uses the platform apparently in a efficient form isn't a real photographer?
I don't know...
I think photographers that both are on the platform and are not on the platform or maybe less successful on it, are photographers. So hmmmm it can be part of my conclusion...
All I know is I don't like trends... And most of my photographic heroes where from a time that it did not exist. I don't like cropping. Don't like shitty small screens but I do like to print my photographs big. And I don't like it when we fall in the trap of instant gratification. Either it is enjoying art or interacting with humans...
Because I like art and I like humans...
And do we have to copy all the big accounts all the time?
On the other hand I also do realize that times always change. And you either adapt or you die out. And change is good. Altough not always... But sometimes.
And a picture is a picture. It does not matter what tool you use. So should that also count for the medium we use how to show it to the world?
But what I do believe is that whatever medium we use. We do need to stop, and appreciate the art for what it is. Give ourselves the time to enjoy it. Stop a bit longer at the photograph you like and stop scrolling, or walking, or turning the pages...
Enjoy it for what it is.... A story...
Food for thought...
Speaking about food... I am going to have a bite....
Because I like food...
Have a nice weekend you all...
- Cristian
The most awesome publication... A cover in Iran.
Couple of day a go ...
Woke up... Made some very nice fresh coffee... Read some news...
Than the doorbell rang!
It was the package delivery service. I knew there was something on it's way. I just won a old vintage Scott receiver at a online auction. So I expected that one... But surprised as I could be, the delivery guy had two packages for me!
The receiver was all cool and stuff. But as soon as I noticed the second package and saw the stamps on the envelop I knew what it was.
It was my copy of the magazine I got published in from Iran!
Mehdi, the creator of the magazine contacted me a while a go if he could use one of my photographs I took in the Nasir Al-Mulk mosque in Shiraz. To be specific, it was the one with the lady with the gown.
I agreed and some time went by. He said to me he would send me a copy. But with the whole embargo thing going on I didn't expect anything. Maybe the government would hold it or something. I don't know.
But it arrived!
So screw the amp!
I guess I don't have to tell how cool it is to see your work published. Let alone in a magazine in Iran. But a little hint. Getting a magazine out there goes a little bit different over there than here in the west and is a bit more difficult.
Mehdi did a beautiful job and the magazine is about arts and culture. I even got the cover!
He translated some articles for me. And even within the package he included some prints of his province where he lives. Borujerd...
Of course it would be amazing to be on the cover of National Geographic one day... But this... man... I guess for me it is even way cooler.
Anyways! It made me very happy!
I put some photos below if you want to have a look.
P.S.
The receiver is awesome too. Listening to my records while I am writing...
Five things I learned about (Life) going to Jerusalem the second time...
Need to make money...
Need to get my motorbike fixed...
Need to do this and that...
F##ck...
April 8th 2018...
Three weeks has passed since my last blog post. And it is incredible how easy you get sucked in everyday life again...
There is never a better moment than now, but in this case and the mindset I have at the moment. It feels more right than ever to write the second part of the five things I learned series.
This one, the second one, is about life!
Sometimes it is so easy as photographer to get stuck in the technical crap that involves photography. But we tend to forget that photography is about life. It is a art form meant to capture life. And it is the only machine we really have to capture life in it's purest form. A bundle of emotion captured in one frame beamed onto your screen or printed on your paper and for you to reminisce. Like a real life time machine in the palm of your hand...
Of course the blog posts are not for photographers only but everyone that loves following my adventures and mind farts. That's why most of my blog posts are more philosophical and about art than gear or tech related stuff.
I use my art to tell stories. About the world, life, but it is also my critique to society. A way I know to let my mind wander and try to make sense of all the stuff that is going on in my head... And even a way try to make sense of the madness we call life....
My photography brings me a lot. And most of the time to places and moments. And because I use it to make sense of all of it it schools me too. Sometimes I realize I am right, sometimes I realize that I am wrong, and sometimes it raises even more questions...
So what does all of this have to do with my second trip to Jerusalem?
I will come to that... No worries...
I guess it is also very easy to fall into the political trap because of the city of Jerusalem. And because of that I will keep my views unbiased. I am a observer. And this article about the lessons I have learned. As a person... And not about someone that needs to do this or that...
So here we go!
- We are all human...
I put this one first but it was the last one I wrote...
I think it is because this one is the hardest to explain of them all...
At one point I was having coffee in the old city. And at another moment I was going through a checkpoint and walking around in a 400m2 area where about 15000 humans live. That is a experience...
The "funny" thing is. I had many similarities with Omar. My guide through the camps. We talked about life there. Life where I am from. And everything in between. He is a talented artist. Seems to make most of the situation.
A moment later I had a call with my Israeli friend Chana which I was supposed to meet. But her car broke down and she couldn't make it. But she felt so bad... She was engaged to be married and wanted to tell me all about it. And I didn't see her for two years so it was the perfect moment to catch up. But fate decided otherwise...
Despite all of our differences we are so similar as human beings...
We all share the same emotions about love, life and death, living and caring...
It gave me a good sense of direction I want to go with my art and passion projects. We are all one... Let's finally understand that...
- Work hard, but don't rush...
I already mentioned this in my previous blog post in the part take your time. But I want to get into it a little bit deeper.
Good things come to those who work hard. And that is the absolute truth! Of course there are setbacks. But working hard also involves not giving up.
The big trap is rushing.
And I fell for it...
There is thing called Street Zen and the first time I heard about it was on a podcast by Eric Kim.
I guess the whole trick is to find that Street Zen! I wanted to do too much. And I rushed and I rushed. Sometimes forced and sometimes self inflicted. We all know we as humans can be our worst enemy.
Street Zen is a real thing. And you can apply it to everything in I guess and call it being in the zone. Ah well...
If you want to deliver quality find you Zen. Take your time. Know your intent for the photograph. And go with the flow.
Rushing never did anyone any good. Same as sitting on your ass.
- Find your own truths...
When I was a little kid we had a game in class named "I ga op vakantie en ik neem mee". It roughly translates: I will go on holiday and take with me... It is a game to see if the first person that tells something, will it still be the same if it reaches the end...
Real life information tends to do the same...
Taking up a project, a passion project or a normal one, or just regular travel. You need to do some research. Some of it comes to word by mouth. Some of it goes by the news or books. Or the internet. Or even better. The lonely planet!
Wonderful!
But I have experienced now numerous times that when I arrive it was different than I imagned.
Iran was not full of terrorists...
The Tsjech republic does not have nice beer... (Sorry...)
And Israelis and Palestinians can be friends...
Wait whuuut? What did I just say!?
The last thing I watched on the news was all of the violence that happened during the return march. And of course all the stuff that you read about in the papers. And not to speak of about social media...
I've seen Israeli soldiers taking photographs of a Palestinian father and son. Arab making small talk with Jews. And little kids having fun in the streets...
Somehow the whole situation seemed less tense than the first time I was there. And although I came there to work on my photography I had a great time. Yes haha, you can have fun and work at the same time...
So always find out your own truth. Hell, even doubt this blog... Just go out and explore yourself. It is way more fun anyway.
And that counts for everything. A camera review. A song you hear in the radio. A certain restaurant that a travel guide says you have to visit! Or not! And than it turns out is is the worst or best experience ever... And even the news...
- We all have our own shit...
Sometimes I tend to forget that. The part that we are all human... When you have seen a lot and have een trough a lot it is so easy to say: yeah we in the west have forgotten to be happy and we are spoiled to the bone... Especially if you experience the Israeli and Palestinian conflict sort of up close...
And for a big part it is true...
Yes, I just said that...
In a big way with all the wealth that we have we fell into the a giant trap that we have forgotten what is most important in life. And we make a fuzz about trivial shit.
That does not mean that we do not have our own problems. Because we do have. Because of all of those traps certain other issues arise. Mental health issues, disassociation, a rising gap between rich and poor. Even global warming! Rising suicide rates...
Actually all of this is nothing new.
Everybody knows it...
And I am about to hit the point I am trying to make. So hold on!
I think the lesson I have learned is not being so judgmental. Actually because of all of those thoughts I just mentioned. Yes! I was judgmental. And it is good for your art to wind yourself up about something.
But it was to easy for me to get angry at the woman who tried to park her bicycle into my motorbike because she said; "Well as long as I can park my bike here than I will be fine. I don't care about anybody else..." just the day after I got home. And yell at her: You don't know how good we have it here! Be grateful!
I need to wind myself up the same amount about the stuff back home as I do with all the other stuff that is happening in the world.
Why?
Well because like I said earlier. We are all human. And as long we don't understand ourselves and each other. We will never see any progress and all the bad shit will continue to happen everywhere.
Who knows what the woman has been trough.
Be a possitive exapmle...
That at least is my two cents...
- Never rest...
This entire trip lit a bigger fire in me than ever. I am not used to giving up. And I am sure as hell more than ever determined I will make it was a photographer and story teller.
I mentioned not sitting on your (mine) ass never did anybody good. And it is the honest truth. It is something I took from sports. I you want something go and get. Never give up. And put in the work. All those Gary Vee posts are all about that. You know the drill... Don't expect to reach a target if you hang out on the beach or go out for drinks. Although relaxation is important too. Get your priorities straight...
The here and the now is this life. One life... And I have to fan the flames of what my soul puts on fire... So Rumi was right after all...
At first all of this seems to have nothing to do with photography. But believe me it does... It is a art form despite it does not seem like it in this day and age. If you want to make a beautiful portrait of someone you still have to see the artistic and human side of things. Otherwise you will never capture the essence of that human being. Same goes for architecture or landscape.
If you do your photography with your soul it will all work out and it will show in your work...
And like I said earlier. It does not only count for photography but for everything.
Just put your soul into things... Work, art, friends, family, your partner...
Btw! I named the project "Neshame Sheli". It means roughly translated: You are important to me. You are a part of my soul... And that is how I feel about my photographs and telling stories. Hopefully it shows and you see that too...
- Cristian
Five things I learned about (Photography) going to Jerusalem the second time...
Hey all!
I am currently really busy with the processing of all of my material of my latest trip to Israel and the Palestinian territories. But that is a long process and when it is all done I want to write a big article about it. And find a proper way to present it to the world.
Until that time arrives I will write short blog posts like this to keep the information and sort of involve you all in a bit of my process.
So this piece part one of a two part piece with five things I have learned during or after my latest trip to Jerusalem and the Palestinian territories.
First one is about photography. The second one is about life.
So let's start!
Part one: Photography...
Like I said. Currently I am in the process of working through all of the material I made and that is just something that takes time... A lot of time!
In short. I took around 1100 photographs and I am editing them at the moment. Part of that process is also voicing visually the intent of the photograph. And ultimately after all the editing is done the post processing start.
Of the approximately 1100 photographs there are only a few that will make the cut and want to share with the world.
During that process which is not even done. I ran into a lot of issues. Not everyone shares that stuff. But I am a big believer in that running into problems or even failing is a big part of getting better. It's a rule you can apply to everything in life...
Same goes for photography!
And the whole trick after the whole failing or running into issues thingie. Is that you just don't give up! Get back on the horse and just go go go!
Learn from it. Feed from it... Grow from it!
Btw I am not only summing up stuff that went bad. It's also good to reflect on stuff that went well, or even good! Because also that is a good thing to know.
Alright here it goes. Five things I learned!
- Don't buy new gear!
A couple of weeks before I left for my trip I switched from Olympus to Fujifilm. I sold all of my lenses and my beautiful Olympus PEN-F body... And I did not even hate my gear. There was nothing wrong with it, and I am a firm believer in that you can't buy a bad camera anymore.
It was more that I was chasing some sort of look or vibe that the Fujifilm sensors have. And I just felt it was time for a change. And if you never try something new you will never know you will like it or not!
The whole difference between my Olympus PEN-F and Fujfilm X-E3 is a whole other subject to dive into. Because the end conclusion is I love them both. The point I am trying to make here for the DO NOT BUY NEW GEAR issue is the learning curve!
My ego let me believe I worked enough hours with the Fujifilm to understand the device completely and I would not make any mistakes with it.
Well I was wrong...
For example the aperture I shot on my Olympus to get everything sharp was around f5.6 or lower. On my Fujifilm it was way lower. And I realized I had to take my photographs around f8! That resulted in some shots I had a shallow depth of field when I did not want it. Especially when I missed focus.
That brings me to another point. I missed focus! A lot!
I was like: How the hell is this happening! Back home I did not have this problem!
There is a difference between photographing back home and while traveling. And that too will be material for another blog post. But in this case, the conditions were different. The people were different even though I was there before. The gear of course was different. My mindset was different. All the narrow alleyways and using certain techniques to get a shot and doing stuff on instinct. All of that together gave me some out of focus results.
I analyzed it all. And one of the things was the the single point focus on my Olympus somehow let me get away with errors. While the single point focus on my Fujifilm was unforgiving. If you miss it, you miss it!
I switched to zone focusing instead and that worked better for me in those conditions. End result. More material I am satisfied with. And no customer or viewer of your art will care if you used a single point focus method or a zone focus method. It is all getting the shot and the story you are telling.
- Do your research.
Like I said, it is not all about the bad things. You also need to reflect on all the stuff that went well!
For me it was arranging my guide or fixer or whatever you want to call it. Making a plan on what you are going to do everyday and also leave some room for spontaneity. Having a back-up plan if something falls short. All of that so you can get the most out of your time.
I planned everything well. And I also was very lucky that nothing went wrong. I think on that part I had the smoothest trip ever. Planning helped.
- Update your software.
This one is actually not about the time during my trip. But more about the process when you return and start to review your work do your post processing.
I looked at my shots and I was getting angrier and angrier by the day. My photos looked like crap. And I did nothing wrong! Why? Why was this?
I was getting into fights with my raw files. And got a bad case of worming. Man o man I was getting frustrated... My photos looked like a watercolor painting!
A fellow photographer said to me: Cris, did you update lightroom?
Fujifilm raw files had got some issues with lightroom in the past. And after a lot of Google searches I read that there were a lot of people that used alternative raw processors and bypassed lightroom or not used it at all! The switched to alternatives like for example capture one.
Small side-note. I used to have the last standalone version of the original lightroom. Because I refused to be part of the subscription model that Adobe started.
I actually like lightroom a lot. So I followed his advice. Put my ego aside. And updated purchased the monthly version of lightroom. And as soon as I openend my photographs again they looked a lot better.
I combined that with a different way of sharpening and voila! Instant happy Cris!
Btw. The whole sharpening thing with Fujifilm raw files... Only use the sharpening slider a little. Use the detail slider more and pull back the radius.
- Shoot a lot of shit.
Maybe it is a bit redundant to say. But I hope I don't have to tell any photographer that it is to take a shot extra than you have not taken the shot at all...
That especially is true with memory cards. Fill those puppies up and shoot everything that peaks your interest.
And no. That does not automatically nullifies my post about "f##k instant gratification". Those are two completely different things. And if you have a goal in mind... Do whatever it takes. There is no award for getting the decisive moment in the least amount of photos...
- Take your time!
I saved this one for last...
Because for me this is the most important one.
Why?
Because I did not do it...
I wanted to get the ultimate photograph so much. I soared and roared across the area like a idiot. My drive that I am so proud of got the best of me.
The end result was that I did not take the time take in the moment as I normally do. And that sucks. It is not that I have bad photographs now... But in retrospect there were moments where I should have taken my time more the choose another angle. Or kneel down to take the shot. Get closer. Wait longer. Getting the details more right.
What if is miss something?
That mindset held me back to look at some little details. When you see a scenario and you don't need to react in a split second. Just take your time... Relax... Take two photos extra. Inhale... Get low or high. Analyse... Wait for the light. It will all come together if you just let the moment be...
It is hard to explain I guess... But there goes a lot detail in taking a good or even a great photograph. And a lot has to go with a certain flow and peace of mind. You feel it when you do it. And once you made one. It is a feeling that you will forever chase again...
Alright! This is it!
My five lessons about photography. I hope you enjoyed them!
Stand by for Part two: Life...
Catching that decisive moment...
F##k instant gratification.
Hey you all!
Some of you might know who follow me on Instagram. I bought a late sixties Olympus Trip 35 for 20,- euros two weeks ago. I did a live video about it and later a instagram vlog when I got the results. I think it is a beautiful camera!
I read some reviews about it online and watched some YouTube clips, and I thought! Why not!
I always wanted to try analog photography for a long time anyway. And as some of you also might know that I really really really like physical things. I just think stuff loses their soul in the digital world...
Anyways! Bought the camera from a guy that lives in my hometown. Thanks Matt Que! It rocks! Bought some rolls of Tri-X 400 and I was good to go! Later when I get the hang of it I can always buy a more fancy analog camera.
The Olympus Trip 35 is a point and shoot style camera rangefinder style. You only got two shutter speed, you can adjust the aperture if you want to. A dial to enter your ASA number and that is it! But I think for the best result in this case is just leave it on auto. In that case you just have to just the distance to your subject. For that purpose there are meters on the bottom and little people figures on the top.
I went out and got shooting. Essentially there is nothing different than normal photography... You see a composition or a situation, aim, and snap the photograph...
What is different, and that makes it very exciting, and that is you have no fucking clue what you are doing. Of course you know technically what you are doing. But you don't have a display that will tell you if you got the shot!
The other thing is you only got 36 shots. So you can't just snap away! You really have to think about the situation if it is worth it. Do I want to spend one of my frames on this situation or composition?
All of that makes you think...
I makes you value more what you are doing... It gives it worth...
In the throwaway society thing that we live in it is a rare occasion...
And all of that just because you really have to work for it!
And that isn't the fun part! The fun part that gives it even more value is taking it to the photo-lab to get it developed! Like normal printing you have to think about stuff like; what kind of paper do I want? How big needs the print to be? Do I want borders? And after all of that you still don't know what your photographs look like!
And than you wait... And wait... And wait some more...
The black and whites had to be send out so it took a bit longer and after 4 days I got them back Developed and print! Ready to be drooled on be me!
I opened the envelop and there they were... Beautiful! I was so happy!
Not every shot was in focus but I didn't care... They were amazing!
I browser through them already a lot of times. And I will continue to do so haha. It is reall, it is physical, and I can hold it. It is magic! That feeling that can't be explained. And it made me happy as a little kid gain.
I will post some of the photographs below. Not everything. Because I want safe some for later... So there are some of my first roll. But I think how it looks digitally does not do it justice. I scanned them with a very convenient app named PhotoMyme. If you want to digitize you analog shot that seems like a easy way to go. You can just use your smartphone for that. And if you want to do it more fancy you can use a real scanner or even scan the negatives. Probably more on that later.
So in the end I can only conclude is shoot some film yourself! Fuck instant gratification and just go out and go analog. It is really fun, I can promise you that!
Finally my Iran work in physical form! Souls of Iran as a Zine!
Dear friends!
I was so busy with everything that I forgot to wright a blog post. And to tell you all a super exciting update!
My Souls of Iran work is now available as a two part Zine!
I am so happy with this. I can't describe it into words. But I will try it anyway haha.
And yes, I know I know, I should write more... I'm working on that!
I wanted to to make a book at first. But I got really inspired by a special about zines. Or zeenes...
The origin of Zines is rooted in Sc-Fi, Punk, and Photography sub-cultures. It was, and is used to self publish their work or their own ideas and spread them around there scene or the world.
And with me being a photographer and still have a lot of rebel in me left from when I was a little Cris, it seemed like a better idea.
The book was actually already done. The spell check was back, had some people look it over and review it whom I hold in high regard. And I was good to go!
Until I was watching a episode of Ted Forbes's YouTube channel "The art of Photography"... Btw, if you are really into photography it is a awesome channel to follow. It brings the art back into photography.
Anyway! I was so inspired! So I decided to sort of re-work it into a Zine format.
Making a version of a4 size paper stapled together was maybe a bit to rebellious for the way I wanted to present my photographic work from Iran I decided to go with the most used self publishing service out there named blurb. Blurb is a very cool platform for everyone who is trying to get his or her work out there and offers incredible quality and services.
I also made the creative decision to split my work up into two parts. Isfahan & Shiraz, and Yazd & Tehran. It seemed more fitting. And that way I think the focus is more on the photographs instead of the volume of pages.
And in this day and age I think that was the best fitting way to present it. Everything is already in bulk. If for example you look at Instagram. I don't now how long people look at a photograph. But it is way to short... I guess that is the reason why I like physical prints so much. You have something real...
Another factor was price.
My fine art prints are expensive as they are. They are of course worth every euro. But it is still a fair amount of money. And I wanted to make something that is more accessible for everyone. A book would cost around 70,- euros. And the Zines are 20,- and 15,- euros. So that is a big difference.
Small side-note. Every cent and euro make it possible for me to continue my photographic journey and tell the story world. And makes new future projects possible. So it is a big support!
The end result you can see below. And yes, it makes me very proud!
Like I said before. It feels good to see your work in physical form. And hopefully all of you like it just as much as I do!
If you are interested you can order it through here or just click on the shop and than Zines menu item.
The importance of printing your work...
The doorbell rang..
I did not expect anything. But still... In the back of my mind I hoped it would be something I was waiting for... And hot damn... It was!
The delivery man had a huge safety box! After I dragged it to my apartment I was finally able to open it... And each layer I removed I was getting me happier and happier...
I can not describe fully how cool it is to hold your own work in your hands in physical form.
Normally in this day and age most of the images we create we only see digital. But at least for me, it loses a lot of it's charm. For me it is in the same ballpark as listening to a record. Or reading a real book. Only times a hundred. If you could stare to a image for hours and lose yourself in it, you know you are on the right track. And with printing, it gets you there...
I guess that is why art is meant to be experienced for real. And just on you computer screen or phone.
Printing also has other benefits. Besides it is freaking awesome! You will think about the details more. And how you will shoot next time. There is a whole process involved before you can actually send it to the printer....
What kind of size do I want? What kind of paper do I need? You have to order some samples because you will see your image transform before your eyes as soon as you put it behind glass...
How do I need to deliver my files? What kind of frame do I want? And also you have to account for your passe-partout. Don't know the english word for that, so you will have to forgive me. It is the big ass white are black border around your image.
And than also other important stuff. What is the purpose of a image? Are you going to sell it? And the most difficult, what is the price of your product going to be?
Am I there yet?
Probably not... But I will think of stuff later. And otherwise maybe you will...
For this series I have used Hahnmühle paper. And even within this brand, there are lost of sub choices to be made. So how do you want to present your work? Is it going to be a larger than life print? You will be needing to make those kind of choices to proceed. The higher end you want to deliver the higher end and maybe even thicker paper.
If it were black and white images it probably would have been Ilford.
But that is not the only choices you have in the sub-choice. Every kind of paper structure will influence the way the ink enters the paper and give it a different feel...
Fuck... Are you getting dizzy yet?
There are so many factors to consider to print your work! But, I guess photography is all about the details. And the better you want to get, the better you are going to look for those details... And the more driven you will be...
And in the end actually it does not matter anyway. Strange huh?
Here is why:
Because you rule!
It does not matter if you are a amateur or a high end pro. Printing your work is also very simple. Because it is just awesome to do!
You! You as a person decided that was your one decisive moment that you chose to print. And you are going to be as happy as a child anyway. And you should be fucking proud of yourself!
Until next time...
- Cristian
Who are you shooting for?
"Who are you shooting for?"
I was thinking about this while talking to a fellow photographer online, being in bed with the flu, and watching the YouTube channel of Ian Wong. The talk was about his new analog Contax T2. It is one beautiful machine. And if I believe all the stories online it is build like a freaking tank!
But the build quality was not the point... It was the fact that it shot analog. And that does not mean that analog is per definition better. But it makes you think more about what you do... You only have got a number of shots on a film roll so you can not fuck up! How is that for some pressure my millennial friends?
I compare at a bit to owning a record player. Instead of putting on a Spotify playlist you have to pick out a record and think about what you want to listen to next. It makes you more aware of the music that you are listening.
I believe that applies to photography as well... If you only have a number of shots, and really have to think about what ISO you film speed is going to be, and you can't yank it out half way of shooting. It makes you think more... Not only your technical choices like aperture and shutter speed, but I mean really think. About the important stuff, like composition!
If you look at the legends like Salgado and Koudelka, they also shot analog. There wasn't even digital available! But still they seemed to shoot the best stories you can find...
And it looks like it is the only way to get really better at your craft as a photographer. And I am not saying now run off and buy a analog camera. But think about what you are shooting... Don't take 50 shots and pray that there is one good one in the bunch. But be aware of your surroundings, about your composition, the story that you want to tell... And pretend you only got one roll of film in your camera... It will make you better...
And that explains the title; "Who are you shooting for?"
Are you shooting just a quick snapshot to post on Instagram and share with your friends? Or are your goals to tell a story like nobody has done before?
Maybe it is the perfect analogy to life too... Don't go for the quick results but for what is really worth it...
Capturing Kick Off Alliantie Genderdiversiteit
Gender diversity and photography...
Like always I love telling the story of our world. And knowing this story isn't told that much, I was more than happy to say yes when I was invited to shoot at the kickoff of the alliance of gender diversity.
The alliance is made out of multiple of organisations that are trying to break through the stereotypical image how the society looks at gender. And the alliance is consists at the moment of writing out of Movisie, Atria, COC, Doetank PEER, Emancipator, NNID, Nederlands Jeugd Instituut, Rutgers, School & Veiligheid, Transgender Netwerk Nederland en Universiteit van Amsterdam Pedagogie.
Those are all dutch organizations, but who knows... Maybe in the future there will be some international ones.
The kickoff was being held in a event center named "the colour kitchen". And like all event centers or congress centers, it is really really really dark...
So that provided me with some sort of a challenge. So here comes the technical part.
I chose to shoot without flash, because otherwise in a intimate setting the talks of the speakers were constantly disrupted by flashes. And for me, if you want to capture the decisive moment, you have to be discreet...
So I put my trusty Olympus on silent mode and started shooting. I can't say one value for the EXIF data, because I was constantly adjusting my settings. Everything was done in manual mode. ISO varied from 8000 and lower... It all depended how close I was to the big screen in the front. And same goes for aperture. That was constantly shifting between 5.6 and 2.8. Shutter speed shifted between 1/250 and a 1/125. That was because I wanted the people to be frozen, and in this case, not see any motion blur.
Not only I was happy shooting at this event because there were some special individuals, but also during my photographing I listened to the speakers. It gave me another perspective again in how everyone looks at life, and so that meant another chance to learn.
Most people are only interested in the technical part of photography. But for me... Technical skills are only a part of that. It is if you do photography with your heart you will see someones soul for real and put emotion in your photograph.
If you are interested you can find more information on their Facebook page here. And information about Doetank Peer you can find here.
